My mum has secondary breast cancer with liver and bone mets, and she was told today that her liver isn’t functioning properly and there’s nothing else they can do. She has had the build up of fluid in her stomach a month or so ago, she is nauseous and doesn’t have much appetite, is jaundice and in constant pain. Can anybody tell me what other things are likely to happen and how long we have left with her? Thank you so much in advance for any help.
Your mum has a lovely daughter, Starfishes. Get in touch with your local hospice -they will be able to help in lots of ways and look after you, too. They may do a hospice at home service if your mum wants to/can stay at home. Marie Curie and McMillan are good too for advice, practical help and support.
Do a sheet of paper with info about your mum for all the different people who can help so you are not repeating yourself, stuff like how she likes her tea, what to chat to her about, maybe print photos of family with little notes like this is eldest granson who likes grans pancakes… daft things that might make her smile and comfort her. I did find this helped as my mum came to the end of her life, it gave people a bit of info about who she was and what was important. I know this isn’t what you asked for, hope it’s not unwelcome.
You will be working hard to get the best care for your mum, sometimes I felt I was doing a lot of organising and not enough sitting with mum and holding her hand, so …
And take care of yourself, as much as you can.
Every best wish for a calm and gentle passing for your mum, and big hugs to you, Caroline