Hi Jellybean,
I’m similar age to your mum, our free life is just about to begin when work goes away that is! I like to dance, take holidays, snorkel and wear a bikini. BC and surgery were not things on my agenda. I think there was a tendency by medics to encourage me to go for easy options at first, but my girls helped me see the bigger picture.
Anyway, I’ve two daughters and I have to say I put them through the mill a bit when I was diagnosed (dx) with BC last summer. I hadn’t told them or anyone about my recall letter, but one happened to see it when she was staying with me. They both expected it to be nothing so we were all surprised when I had the Dx of BC. I’m someone who likes to be prepared and I was totally unprepared. But some people prefer to take it as it comes. I’d only say that there are decisions to be made and sometimes you need to speak up and challenge a bit, so it’s good for someone to understand and be prepared, maybe your mum would like it to be you. Or maybe she can take this role herself. I’m not alone in saying that ladies need to speak up to get the best or rght treatment.
In my case it was DCIS which is early stage, no lump or anything. Because it was in more than one part of the breast, despite being early stage, a mastectomy and immediate recon was my best case scenario! It didn’t seem fair! I was horrified by this and SO upset for a week while I came to terms with it. The girls helped do research with me, so we knew the options and possibilities before my next appointments. Like your mums position I haven’t needed chemo. In fact as I had a mastectomy I didn’t need rads. I had a really major op but just three months on I was wearing a bikini and had a lovely tum and the navel of a twenty year old as a bonus.
There are several elements to the treatment for a small lump, including a lymph node biopsy, usually a SNB which checks a minimal number of nodes and would probably be done at the same time as the wle to remove the lump. I had my snb separately as I was having a bigger op, but the ladies having surgery on the same day all had wle/snb. Our surgeon’s style is to go in under the aerola so that there isn’t any scar on the breast. This is something you or your mum could ask about…those ladies we very pleased.
After the op most come out on the same day. We actually met up for coffee in town the day afterwards! The other ladies were around 70, though you’d never know it as they look fiftyish. We couldn’t drive and had to be careful not to lift things on that side but otherwise very little trouble. The three weeks of rads started a month later and the ladies travelled by train together each day. The only real problems they encountered was some tiredness and some soreness of the skin afterwards. They weren’t gven any advice about applying creams or what to apply, soots worth consulting other ladies here, and of course, asking questions!!
Getting the diagnosis is a total shock to us and most of us fear the worst but there is so much good treatment now, that for most people the fear seems to be worse than the actual treatment. I hope this helps in some way to give you the perspective of several mums who have been in the same position in the last six months but are now out the other side.
Do tell your mum I’d be happy to be in touch if I can support her in any way …you can Pm me if you’d like.
The main
xx