I agree with dotchas…I would hate to see any post deleted because there are always people who will disagree and out of the debate, we all learn.
I have learnt that if I post what I really think on here, I am going to upset some people.
I expect leadie has learnt that I am a nasty evil person, or something like that…
Leadie - I don’t want to have an arguement, so please don’t think I am goading. I am smply interested. Was it that I have no issue and minimal pain (so far), the word ‘doddle’ or the fact I think positive that offends you, or a mixture of all?
For the record, my Mummy has had breast cancer, a second occurence and a seperate skin cancer, both her parents died of cancer and now I have it myself, so I do ‘get it’ and understand that not everyone is as fortunate as me. But I also have a friend who has had BC, double mx, chemo, radio and herceptin - she is over a year ahead of me and has exactly the same attitude as me, except she said her mx was very very painful. She actually used a slightly different wording, but I would really upset the apple cart if I wrote that!
I just guess I deal with my own differently to a lot of people. I still want to post my good news, and in a way in which some people ‘get’ (I have had private messages about this thread which I am very grateful for, but what a shame that people feel it needs to be private). I am not trying to offend anyone, but if everyone else gets to tell their news as they see it, then I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed the same courtesy.
Dotchas
I did not say that I didn’t agree with the thread’s poster.
I am saying, as people have said in the past about threads which cause considerable anxiety whether people agree or disagree, that perhaps it is time to close it and reflect.
Just about everything that can be said has been said and repeated and it seems to me that there is little point in sustaining something which brings out the worst in people and will end up being closed anyway when someone goes too far one way or the other.
I think it would demonstrate some maturity for us to agree that enough is enough, that we can agree to disagree and accept that people sometimes have rather polarised views which just cannot be grasped but those at the other pole.
D
I thought this site was to support ALL people affected by breast cancer…seems not.
ps.wont post on this sudject again so dont worry
i mean subject 
Quote dahlia
“even the title is offensive”
Sorry I thought that meant you disagreed with the post.
melly2
Hehehe! you posted again LOL!
Dot
x
I avoided this post as I thought the title flippant and just thought the ladies were sharing and one day they may need each other more as the time goes by and the realisation of cancer and the lows hit. I too was fine at WLE and Mx whilst in hospital but once home I had to have seroma taken twice and still have a “pinch” where the drains (2) were and a constant reminder to me of BC. I was lucky to have Sentinel Node taken and didnt suffer lymphodema or other complication.
I have a positive reflection of the hospital and staff and only hit the lows once home and three weeks later when I realised that I was not infallible and having been a very strong teacher that I was indeed as scared and hurt as everyone else. I acknowledge that I do not want to be superwoman just get back to as “normal” as possible. For me it was a mental weakness and my self esteem and confidence suffered. It did take a couple of months to get back to working and becoming the person I am today. Tamoxifen is now my trouble with joint pain in the ankles, memory lapses and tiredness.
We all have our ways of getting through and therefore whatever rocks your boat.
Wishing all the ladies well and a good life.
Melly2 - Please don’t not post. Your original post made me smile. And even if it didn’t, I think everyone should be welcomed to say what they think and feel and not be attacked for it.
Yes Melly2 its a free world,don’t stop posting
x
I’ll tell you what, I’ll come back when I finally get the pain, the hatred for my body and the low sets in, is that when I can really call myself a cancer sufferer, because then I’ll be suffering properly, right?
Maybe I am young and naive, maybe I will hit rock bottom, but I am not there yet, so let me be happy, no?
If you have a baby, do you encourage it not to walk, in case it falls down - most will at some point. If a friend meets a new partner, do you try and make them miserable - most relationships split up after all? Oh, and don’t buy a car, the stats say you are likely to have an accident.
I did didn’t I Dot lol…oops did it again…Oh well I am never true to my word
Norty Melly2!!! x
Pash you go girl, being in the right frame of mind is the only thing that has got me through my journey.
sending you a hug
Carol xx
Thanks for your comments Leadie! Wish I had more time to get involved!!
Dahlia, your reminder of Dr. Harvey’s ‘The Perils and Pitfalls of Positive Thinking’ is indeed very timely. I would encourage everyone to read it - there’s much to be gained and it’s an extremely supportive and helpful article. Google it to find it.
I agree with Dahlia regards the direction of this thread.
Good god, does the nastiness ever stop on this forum ? i dont use this forum much these days because of a few here who continualy find pleasure if knocking people back, how many more times does it have to be said that This Forum is For Everyone, and everyone deals with their DX differently if Pash and others have found there expierences of treatments so far with this desease ok then noone has a right to slap them down , Good for them !!! i realy dont think people need reminding how awfull this desease is or be made to feel guilty if they are copeing ok. Nobody is burrying their head in the sand on here they are just saying how it is for them and they have every right to do that.
I had hoped things would have improved after the last outburst (and their have been many) if people want to have a Positive mental attitude so what!! it realy is nothing to do with anyone else and some here need to realise that.
It is a reflection that people need to send private emails as they are afraid to express their views openly and that is totally unaceptable in my view.
I have been knocked back and critisised before for expressing a view on these forums by which always seems to be by the same few members and it realy is about time that BCC stopped some users from causeing upset time and time again.
If people dont like a subject or forum heading move on and dont read it its as simple as that, this is yet another thread that has been misinterpreted and jumped upon as usual.
For goodness sake Leave people Alone.
Pash, stay positive pet its certainly beats being in a constant state of doom and gloom we all get through this the best way we know how and NOONE has the right to knock you or anyone else down.
Take care
lindiloo x
Just finished reading this thread and find it hard to believe why people get so irritated. After all, its only the personal opinions and views of an individual. It isnt as though someone is proposing a change in the law or demanding new treatment protocols where strong opposition would be necessary. Whatever someone feels after having a surgery or any aspect of their treatment, good, bad or indifferent, they are entitled to voice their thoughts on the matter, even if you believe they are totally wrong. Disagree, by all means, but do it civily and maturely without the need for personal and offensive comments. As for having the thread removed - why? If we only have sanitised and liberal points of view, what use is that? From my own personal viewpoint, I have never had a mastectomy so couldn’t comment on my feelings, but my mother had bilateral mastectomies and I remember her saying the surgery and treatment was not a great concern, despite its discomfort and disfigurement. It was the fact she had cancer which caused her the most anxiety and whether it had gone for good.
Hi, i have found this thread very interesting as i am approaching a mastectomy myself. People obviously deal with it totally differently, not sure which category i will fall into, some days im happy, other days im down. I wonder if having chemo before surgery alters how someone reacts to a mastectomy? I just know that over the past months on chemo i have developed a real hatred for the tumour, and know the only way im getting rid of it is to have the mastectomy. Im strangely looking forward to it,but only because it will get this tumour taken out of me. Im terrified about how i am going to feel and cope with the loss of my breast. I think my breasts were the only bit of my body i liked.
Hi Anna
I think it does make a difference; many of the women who have mx have only had days or weeks to get used to the idea and there is often a lot of shock, especially if the lump was picked up on screening and the woman did not know there was anything wrong. Living with the tumour(s) once discovered and hoping that the chemo is working is a different experience - your hair goes, you may have chemo se’s and you and all the people round you realise that you have cancer. For people who look and feel well it is oftenhard to accept that anything is wrong.
Anna, i wish you the best for the op. Most of us do feel some relief at getting surgery over with as it is another stage of treatment completed, even if we are upset at the loss. You will undoubtedly ride the emotional roller coaster at some stage - it’s horrible but normal so just go with it. I think that being scared of how you will feel is not unusual, speak to the BCN if she is any good and keep talking, crying, just don’t ignore it or bottle it up. I too miss my breast but I don’t miss the cancer. Someone said “Think of it as transformational surgery; taking you to a post cancer body”. That helped get me through the worst days.
Love
Jane x