Hi ladies,
I need some advice please, since my secondary diagnoses last week my 14 year old is really struggling, he’s got no faith the targeted tablets will work for me as he said the chemo didn’t. I have explained that we’re given no guarantees when having treatment we all have to hope. I have said it’s not the chemo didn’t work it’s that it wasn’t the right treatment for me but it has done something as I’ve had no further spread and I was told from the start my spine was an area of suspicion. How can I reassure him? He thinks I’m going to die in the next year or so, I have told him it’s early days and we all feel really anxious but one thing I can tell him is I’m very much going to be in for a long time yet, his reply? No time is long enough I need my mum here until she’s old ? it broke my heart. What can I say to him? He’s beside himself and if I’m honest so am I and I’m really not coping at all. Please reassure me that the tablets will help so I feel like I can help my son in some way this is breaking my heart xx
Hi,
I am so sorry you are in this situation, it is still very recent and I guess you are all trying to go through the shock of it all and what it means and trying to process.
Being 14 is a tricky age and I think it is positive he has been able to verbalise his fears and anger at the situation even if it is hard to hear. I would advise you speak to his school so they can offer support and maybe consider some emotional support for him if he wants to access this.
It sounds you have been able to find some good words but give yourself time … it is a lot to process
I cannot comment on treatment but wishing you all the best and for good results
A.
My heart goes out to you and your lovely son. I have no advice but just want to say that when I got my diagnosis the oncologist said the average survival for my presentation (spinal mets) has been several years but more people are now going on for longer because of the targeted treatments which are very successful and there are new drugs coming out all the time. The specialist nurse said to think of it as living with a chronic disease to which you have to adapt but life can still be pretty normal. There are people on this forum who have lived with secondaries for many years and hopefully someone will come on and offer some advice as like you I am at the beginning of my mets journey, Like you I aim to be around for a good while yet xx
Hi @lollypop84 thank you for sharing your post. We are sorry to hear this and we would like to let you know that our breast care nurses are here to talk if you want to talk things through or find more support.
You can call them free on 0808 800 6000. They are available during the week 9am-5pm and 10am-2pm on Saturdays.
Best wishes,
Shareena
Social Media Officer
Hi,
I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that your son is struggling. I know how that feels, my children were 1 and 4yrs with my initial diagnosis, and 5 and 8 when my cancer returned. They are now 13 and 16.
I’ve always sheltered them and limited the information that I’ve given them. They know I have monthly treatment at the hospital, take tablets daily and have scans every 2 months, but that’s it. If they ask further questions I do answer truthfully but maybe put a positive spin on it.
My mum was diagnosed when I was 14, she limited the information she gave me and as I’ve got older I’m thankful that she did.
If I had had access to the internet Lee the kids do today I don’t know how I would have coped.
Being a teenager is a horrible time as it is. Sounds daft but my two are my babies and for me, I chose the ignorance is bliss route, working so far!
If your school knows they will have a school nurse and a pastoral career who can support your son and point him in the right direction, liasing with age appropriate services.
Hopefully these will give him the support he needs.
Xx