My Best Friend

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Hello everyone

I have been using this site recently for advice and support for my recent prophylactic mast and recon but I now have a new predicament.

My best friend has recently found a breast lump, she has seen her GP and now has an appointment at the breast clinic next Tuesday. I work with my friend in the medical proffession and sometimes this can be both helpful but also can make things worse. She has completely gone to pieces, she is understandably worried but seems to have lost all rational thought.

I am at a loss how to help her. I am trying to just ‘be there for her’ but feel I should be doing more.

I would be interested to hear from others what was helpful for them at a similar time. I realise what is right for one person is not always going to be helpful to another.

Thank you.
Jackie.

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Hi Jacky

Its such a difficult one, isn’t it? I too work in the medical profession which as you pointed out, has problems. I found that the waiting between the GP and the breast clinic to be the hardest time of all. Your mind races about horrendous scenarious etc. Actually, once seen by the consultant and my worst fears confirmed, I was a lot better. I had something to focus on, albeit not the news I wanted, but it certainly wasnt as bad as I had imagined. I found the people I wanted to avoid were those who had tales to offer of breast cancer sufferers either good or bad as you are not stupid and realise that everyone is different and just because Aunty Flo lived for 90 years after breast cancer does not mean you will. Also, people who say “you will be fine” and “be positive” definitely go into the same room 101! Those people who offered me the most comfort were those who made it clear they were both concerned and supportive about my forthcoming appointment, but didnt make a big fuss.

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Thank you toothfairy

Your comments are very helpful.

Jackie

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Jackie

All you CAN do is to be there for her. Don’t be scared to say the word “cancer” if you need to. Let her remember there ARE things outside her medical concern, make her laugh, but tell here you are there at whatever time of day or night and whilst you can’t make everything Ok for her, whatever she has to face, you will be by her side. A friend did this for me at the beginning and I will never forget it.

Good luck to you and your friend, she is lucky to have you

Louise x