My lovely Mum

Good evening everyone

I don’t know what I’m hoping to acheive with my post but I think that sometimes, just writing things down helps.

So - here we go -

My Great Grandmother, my Grandmother, 2 of my Great Aunts and my mums cousin have all had breast cancer (all survived).

My lovely Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in a duct back in 2002, she was 47. She had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy, and went into remission, her consultant reffered to her as his success story as you can’t even see her scar.

2007 February - My Dad died suddenly from a massive heart attack aged 54.

2010, Christmas Day - My mum find a lump in her neck just above her collar bone, I book her an urgent appt at the doctors. She had a biopsy, mammogram and ultrasound and was diagnosed with a recurrence of breast cancer in her lymph nodes on Friday.

We were told that due to the location this is inoperable.

She has a bone scan and full body scan booked for next week and her appt with Onc for the 22nd of this month.

On Friday we were told that we were definitely looking at Chemo but until the bone and body scan, we can’t be sure that it hasn’t spread from her lymph nodes. There is nothing in her breasts at all or under her arms. But she has 2 swollen lymph nodes, marble sizes, on either side of her neck above her collar bone.

So - on the emotional rollercoaster at the moment, shcoked - check, upset - check, angry - check check!

I am so upset for her, and yet she’s being so brave. I have a little boy who is 3 and absolutely worships his Nanny. I’ve already had my Dad taken from me and I am so scared that I am going to lose my Mum.

I know that this isn’t going to go away, I just keep screaming inside my head “please not yet, please not yet”.

I would be so grateful for any similar stories, I know that I will be stronger once I know what we’re up against, and I know I need to pull myself together for my mum.

As for me, last year I found a lump (I’m 31) which turned out to be a false alarm, but I have been offered genetic testing which I am going to do. I know that one of the options if I prove positive for BRCA 1 will be a double masectomy and removal of my ovaries, I am prepared for this, even more so now.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Love Nic x

Hi Nic

You’ve been through so much and it’s no surprise you’re feeling fragile. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and your mum. My mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 6 years ago. She ended up having 3 lots of chemo and did really well, then last year she also got a lump in her neck and they decided to do another round of chemo. She ended up with heart problems (AF) from the chemo but she was such a trooper and never complained. Sadly she passed away in October and I miss her so much. My dad is unwell too so I can really relate to you.
I was diagnosed with BC in July 2009 and one of the reasons I didn’t have chemo was because I wanted to be there for my mum. The only advice I could give you is probably something you’re already doing - just be there for her. Giving practical help made me feel like I was doing something positive and although my mum didn’t talk much about her illness (she didn’t want to ‘bother’ anyone!) she knew I was there if she wanted to.
Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

Sending massive hugs

love Kerry xxx

Oh Nic, what a rotten, rotten situation for you and for your mum. Sometimes its the waiting for the results of scans etc, before you can begin the fight to beat the thing, that is the hardest of all. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that your mum’s final diagnosis is not as dire as you must be dreading. Wishing you and your family all the very best.

Jan x

Thankyou so much everyone.

Feeling much stronger today, no tears!!! Have this tremendous sense of responsibility looming over me again, just like when Dad died, I remember the day my Dad died I packed all the paperwork for insurances, mortgages, credit card bills etc, into 2 big bin liners and took them all home to protect my mum from it all. Finding it hard that I can’t protect her from this.

But she is a tough little cookie.

I rang the hospital earlier, they’ve booked a CT Scan for this Friday at 1pm, we’ll know what we’re up against afterwards.

I will keep you all posted, what a wonderful forum this is!

Love Nic xxx

I can only offer you and your family my sympathy and very best wishes that chemo will be successful.


Hi Nic

I don’t have anything practical to add, but wanted to send my best wishes for you and your family.


Me too Nic - I send all my love and support to you and your Mum, I know from experience that this website is invaluable for help advice and focus as is the support of your family which I am sure your Mum certaintly feels from you.I wish you lots of luck and positive thoughts, Shar xxxx

Hi Nic and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the valuable support you have here please do feel free to call our helpline for further support and information on 0808 800 6000, it’s open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Take care

Thank you so much everyone for such lovely wishes and support.

I know I am going to rely on this forum heavily from now and I’m very grateful.

Love and hope to all


Hi Everyone

Just an update really, Mum has a CT Scan booked for this Friday so we will know more then. However, her consultanct called her yesterday and confirmed that they have reason to believe it’s in her lung.

Feeling very numb, don’t know what this means but know it’s bad. I have so many questions, and I know that Friday isn’t far away, I just feel so unprepared and I really don’t think my Mum has a clue as to what she’s facing.


Hi Nic, so sorry to have heard your news.

They can still do chemo etc even if it is in her lung. The news of spread isn’t great, but it isn’t the end.

When my mum was diagnosed 2 years ago (late diagnosis) it had already progressed to her lung, and she was suffering with breathlessness. We got her consultant to organise a pleural effusion (drainin fluid from the lung) and a pleuradhesis (where the membrains are allowed to stick together so fluid can’t collect anymore). The fluid build up is a side effect from the lung metastasis.

She has had two years of relatively good health since then.
Don’t give up hope, be strong as you have been for her all along.

My thoughts are with you xxx

Jen thank you.

I think we’re all still in shock to be honest. My Mum is very little bless her but she’s so full of energy and you’d never know she was ill to look at her. She has no shortness of breath, in fact she looks after my toddler 3 days a week for me whilst I work and she runs around with him like a loony - I just keep thinking it has to be a terrible mistake. Although I know it’s not.

Thank you for your post, it gives me hope.


Hi Nic
I know this is an old note but i just wanted to know how your mum is doing??
Sending you loads of luv