my mum has cancer

hi all i am knew to this site, just been confirmed that my mum has cancer, been told it is complicated and cant operate. They are sending her for bone and liver scan. she is really unwell and unable to do anything, i am really concerned as she has rapidly declined in 6 weeks. Dont know how i feel, i feel like they should take her into day and do something. it all seems like it takes so long for tests etc- i really wish we could afford private care. we have not had a good start with the hospital- appointments cancelled and now she has to wait to see her new consultant because he is on leave. Do they only have one consultant?
Sorry for my rant but had to get it off my chest.

There are procedures that hospitals have to follow when treating cancer patients.
Check whether your hospital is following them in your mums case. Try and stay polite even though it is frustrating.Please dont assume that if you went private it would be better a lot of the experience and knowledge is in the NHS. My father had private medical insurance but when he had his cardiac problems it was the nhs that looked after him and when he had his cancer it was the expertise in the nhs that looked after him, the private sector would not have coped.
Depends where you live, but I would have thought it unuual to have just one consultant ask your GP/mothers GP. Get your mum to give you a signed letter to let your GP discuss her problems with you …if you can

Hope this helps - get practical


Hi Jan

Thank you for replying
Yes your right i should not think that private is better or quicker, i have read some of the comments by others on nhs-v -private. Overall there does not seem much of a difference. I do understand that they have to do all the tests first to be able to accurately treat it.I will ask my mum to ask the doctors to give me consent to discuss her problems thanks, thats a good idea.

Dear bridget72

This must be a very difficult time for you at the moment, I just wanted to say that you may find it helpful to talk things through with one of our helpliners, they can offer you support and a ‘listening ear’. The number is 0808 800 6000 and it’s open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.

Best wishes