My mum has cancer

My mum was diagnosed with cancer 7 weeks ago and she has had 2 lumpectomys since that, she will be starting her radium and hormone treatment within the next few weeks. I feel incredibly guilty because my dad works away and I am getting married abroad in the summer and I feel like I shouldn’t be moving out of the house when she gets little to no support from my brothers and she cannot depend on my sister all the time because of her job (although my sister does see her every day during the week and takes her to appointments etc…) She had a severe infection and I made her go and see the doctor about it this morning and he told her thats he had an abcess on the scar and it had to be drained, although my mum is very strong and is so positive about it all but I know sometimes she feels very degraded about it especially when she went to buy post surgery scars. Im not really looking for any replies, it just feels nice to let it all out I havent been really able to do that.

Dear Rosapenny

I am glad that you have found this site and that you have written about your mum. Breast cancer is a tough thing to deal with for the person who has it, but I think all of us here also appreciate the devastating effect that it can have on those who love us. When you are diagnosed everything is a bit of a whirl and of course all the attention is on you, but just as hard is to see someone you love, like your mum, going through it all. Please don’t feel guilty, I am sure that your mum is delighted for you that you are in love and have your wedding planned and that there are lots of good things going on as well as breast cancer. Sorry to hear that she has an infection at the moment, and that must be making your mum feel grotty. Would she come on this site? She can be sure of lots of support from all of us here. I am so sorry that your mum feels degraded by having breast cancer, it is certainly unusual to suddenly start having to whip your top off every two minutes and can get a lot of getting used to. Rather than be degraded I hope that eventually she can see this as a journey that she didn’t want to take, but that she comes out of feeling strong and confident and ever so proud of herself. Please do write again and let us know how you are. Have a wonderful wedding - will you be near your mum when you get back again? Good luck, your mum is lucky to have you. Sarah x