My mum has just been diagnosed

Hi everyone,
Im 25 and my mum has just told me and my younger sister that she has been diagnosed with the early stages of breast cancer. When she first told me i assumed the worst but when she explained that everything was looking positive and that she only needed surgery and maybe some radiotherapy i began to feel re-assurred.
Her surgery date is in the next couple of days, they are going to take some lymphnodes out to see whether or not the cancer has spread and thats what is really worrying me now. I’ve been pretending it’s not happening, just making sure she is doing ok. I’ve not told many people, not even my uni, as i dont want worry them but i think everything is starting to sink in now. I’m petrified it might have spread and i might loose her…can’t imagine anything worse!
I guess i just dont know whats going to happen and thats the worst bit- the not knowing! I’m determined to get my mum through this, i’ve signed up to Race For Life in her honour to say a massive thankyou to the research which potentially has saved her life. I just dont know what i can do to make her feel better, i cant imagine what shes going through right now as shes putting on a brave face infront of me and my sister. Deep down im scared, im petrified and im angry that Cancer has chosen such a good person to inflict it’s evil on.
Has anyone got any information that can help me help her through it?
Nicky xx

Hi Nicky

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for support not only for yourself but for your mum, your sister and your whole family, the users of this site have a wealth of knowledge, experience and information between them which I am sure they will be along soon to share with you.

To help you along I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications that you and your mum might like to read, these can be downloaded from this site or just follow the links and to have hard copies sent to you (or your mum) through the post free of charge. Our helpline team are also just a free phone call away to answer your questions - nothing here is a silly question so don’t be afraid to ask. 0808 800 6000 lines are open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2.

Take care.

Jo, Facilitator

hi nickyjayne87
i have had surgery etc, my daughter has helped all the way through, she’s 23 with a little baby and i think she’s been amazing, as i expect you two will be. she is doing race for life too, in nottingham, i’m so proud of her.
i was diagnosed on 6th feb and ive done what had to be done (mastectomy and lymph node clearance) and i’m back at work. you have to try to stay positive, its not easy, you will all have up and down days but thats normal.
if you want to chat, my daughter is also on this site, username katiesupportingmum , she knows exactly what you’re going through, she’s just a bit further on than you are, experience of 3 months.
good luck to you all,
kindest regards
angie xx

hi again
by the way, dont google, use this or macmillan or cancer research so you get up to date facts and info.
angie xx

Posted on behalf of new user Dee - Jo, Facilitator

hi nickyjayne87 i know exactly how you feel as my mum was diagnosed end of march. i was terrified that it might have spread but it really helped to read about it and after i did i understood that in the early stages the chances of it spreading are very small. But most of all it really helped to talk about it, it got a lot of my chest and a good cry never hurt anyone as its a natural way for your body to release endorphins. when it came to helping my mum, i just made sure that everything was clean, she was feeling okay eveyday n tried my best to do some jobs round the house Smile trust me your support probably means the world to her. dee xxx

Dee, NickyJayne, ,
I am sorry to hear about your mums, they are both very lucky to have such caring daughters. It is a frightenining experience for your mum but also for yourselves. Don’t pretend it is not happening; unfortunately it is there to stay. Hopefully, she will respond well to treatment and carry on with a normal life, but it will always be at the back of her mind.
NickyJane, pease tell your uni about this. one day you might not feel too well and can be granted extenuating circumstances. This will be a load off your shoulders during exams, knowing that you are having less pressure.
I can’t tell you what your mum needs but ask her… There might be practical things, especially if chemo is involved, such as shopping, cooking. some women are tired with radiotherapy, I was lucky I was not. But if you are away at uni, a text, a call, a letter, are the things that will make a mother smile.
Do take care.