My mum has stage 4 breast cancer

Hello all. My name is Isabel and my mum has breast cancer. I am 22 years of age and I am supporting her to the best of my ability. 

I have decided to use this forum as a means of support as I am struggling to cope well with coming to terms that my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer for the 3rd time in 1-2 years.

It started out as a routine check up in 2020. She was diagnosed with stage 3. She had surgery (mastectomy).

After surgery she was in remission until she was diagnosed again late last year with it coming back to her left breast, stage 2. 

Again she had surgery but this time she had radiotherapy too. It had spread to her lymph nodes (left armpit) and so she got lymph nodes here removed too in surgery.

Just 5 months later, she has flared up pretty much everywhere - inflamed, on her body. She began to lose the ability to sit up without issue, and as she was walking out of a shop near where we live, she fell onto the ground. Turns out she has a rare autoimmune disease called myositis. She had a blood test and CT scan done as a result, to rule out the return of cancer. 

She has developed dysphasia too with the myositis. She has been struggling to swallow so badly that she would almost choke most days. 

Doctors urged her to stay in hospital for a few days, to be tested and helped with the disease. She ended up staying for 7 in total, with a drip of IVIG every evening and other medications given. 

She has been home since Tuesday, and is currently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. The cancer has metastasised to her spine and her kidney. Because it is such a volatile form of cancer (HER2), doctors are not sure how quickly it will progress.   

She is too poorly for chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgery.

As I type this I cry because I am worried for her. It is hard not to get emotional most days.

Hi isabelamayes

Welcome to the Forum, I am so sorry to read about your mum’s diagnosis. This sounds like a difficult time and I want you to know that we are always here to support both you and your mum. If you would like to talk things through, then our friendly breast care nurses are here to listen and help - please call our free confidential Helpline 0808 800 6000.

If you prefer writing things down, you can also get in touch with our Nurses in the Ask Our Nurses area of the Forum where they can respond to you online.

Sending you my best wishes x

@isabelamayes   - Oh Isabel, I can’t tell you how sooo very sorry I am to hear the news of your Mums extreme difficulties. I’m not surprised you are so very upset.

Have you clicked on the Forum section specifically for secondary breast cancer (link below) and  had a look through the different sections. You may find it helpful and obtain extra support from postees on there too. You could just copy your post on here and place it there as well? and I’m sure you would be most welcomed to join threads on behalf of your Mum.

forum.breastcancernow.org/t5/Living-with-secondary-breast/ct-p/secondary_breast_cancer

and have a look through the posts in the below one, which has a specific thread for Bone metastasis, with your Mum having it in her spine.

forum.breastcancernow.org/t5/Living-with-secondary-breast/bd-p/4495

I do hope something can be done for her, and to help keep her more comfortable. It’s great that you had the thought to post on here, and I hope you  do contact the nurses on here for a chat and further support. They’re such a brilliant help.

I am wishing you both strength and sending mountains of love to you both, dear girl.

Delly   xXXx 

If it possible try to take immunotherapy or RNA vesicles mediated anti-cancer gene mRNA therapy for your mom. The latest RNA vesicles therapy would be effective with much less or no side effect on your mom treatment, so the condition would be improved after treatment.

Hi Isabel, 

How are you?