Three weeks ago my mum found a lump. It wasn’t the suprising for her as she has had pre-cancerous cells removed before and currently has calcium deposits. Still, she went to her consulant. She was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. It’s so early that the mamogram still isn’t picking it up.
My mum has today gone for surgery to remove her tumour and one lymph node. However after they removed the node they sent it off for testing and it has come back as positive. She has gone back down for a second surgery and is currently still in theatre. I just can’t believe it’s spread to the nodes when it still wasn’t being picked up on the mamogram. I’m sorry if this isn’ the right place to put this post but I just don’t know what to do at the moment. I’m so angry with everything. I’m not even at home with my Dad because I’m at uni and had an exam today.
I’m sorry I just had to get this all out.
Just wanted to say hello to you and also to say I am so sorry you are having such a bad time - My own Mum had her op 7 weeks ago now and I will never forget how much it all affected me too - I still feel so protective of her - she too had a positive node and had to have further surgery and the results from that were good so I shall keep my fingers crossed for your Mum too.
It must be awful for you at this time being away but if your Mum is anything like mine Im sure she will want to cause as little disruption to others as possible.
I think your anger is very understandable and this is the right place to come to because everyone here is so supportive so please don’t feel the need to apologise because your thoughts and feelings are important.
Hope all goes well for you and your Mum and I shall be thinking of you.
Esbee x
I’ve had a very similar history to your Mum. The surgeon was very suprised to find a few cancer cells in the sentinal node when I had such a tiny tumour, although mine just did show up as a pinhead on a mammogram. But some are harder to pick up with mammograms, I’m afraid.
On the other hand, this means the lymph nodes were doing their job of filtering these cells out.
Your mother may have to have more treatment than she did last time, and that’s when she is going to need all the support you and your dad can give.
There’s no good time to get news like this, but when you are going through the stress of exams it must be extra hard. Anger is a very natural reaction, as I’m sure you feel your mum doesn’t deserve this; no one does. All I can suggest is to try to use the exams to keep your mind occupied while your mum waits to find out any further results and what treatment plan is recommended.
My best wishes for you and your exams and for your mum.
Cheryl
Bradders88,
You have to remember that your mum found the cancer early and that she will be in the best hands. As for a second surgery, you need to think of it in terms of getting out all the cancer!
Its a frightening time, but it really is the first step in getting better. For the vast majority of us, we recover from surgery very quickly, and its a great relief to know that it has been taken out.
Its normal to be angry at everything, this is a good place to come and vent, cry, scream…
Marguerite
What a worrying time for you, and so hard when you cannot be at home - you sound like a lovely caring daughter, and I am guessing that your exam will have been very hard to focus on today.
There will be lots of questions for both you and your mum ahead, and this site is really great at helping with those - the helpline is brilliant if you need advice or just someone to talk things through with. You can both find lots of support here from others in the same situation, and you will soon realise that feeling angry is entirely normal and justified, and this is a safe place to let it all out. Thinking of you both, hoping the second surgery goes well - this will be to ensure that everything is caught and cleared quickly.
Sue xx
Thank you so much for all your support. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. I know I have to stay positive but at the moment that’s easier said than done - but I will try my very best.
Thank you again, you are all such wonderful people
xx
Hi Bradders,
“I just can’t believe it’s spread to the nodes when it still wasn’t being picked up on the mamogram.”
That’s not an uncommon scenario. I have a whole nest of metastatic tumours in my lymph nodes, some 30mm long and 15mm wide, and mammograms are STILL negative. Mammos are not not the ‘Gold Standard’ diagnostic tool that the press would have us believe.
My first sign was enlarged lymph nodes, ‘due to infection’, the GP and I thought, and no-one would have known about the BC if I hadn’t asked for it to be investigated to be on the safe side.
She’s lucky to have caught it this early.
Good luck.
Ninja
I’m really sorry to hear about yoyr mum’s diagnosis. I agree with everything that has been said, but also would strongly advise you to speak to yoyr student support tutor and personal tutor about what you’ve been going through these past few weeks. You have no doubt worked hard on your degree, if you let them know they can mark your work accordingly, and, for example, give you the benefit of the doubt if you are between grades.
I hope things go well for you and your family, its a very hard time but at least you are all able to support each other
vickie
x
Good point, Tors. I suffered a bereavement while at uni and got an extra 5 weeks to hand in my major project - it meant that I could be at home when needed and didn’t need to worry about uni stuff.
DO tell your tutors ASAP and you’ll find them very sympathetic; they get stuff like this to manage all the time. x
Bradders,
What a lovely caring, erm, son?/daughter? you are. We mums are funny people and I’m pretty sure your mum will be worrying about you and your exams even more than you are worrying about her.
Tors is also quite right, you do need to speak to your uni about what’s going on at home as it will most certainly have SOME effect on your ability to concentrate.
If you can reassure your mum that you love her dearly and that you’re doing OK, you will be helping her a lot. Let her know that you’re still concentrating on your exams, that you’ve got the support of your tutors and that you will be home as soon as you can, that will really help her. And by the time you do get home she will have recovered a bit from your surgery and will be really happy to see you.
You could mention this site to your mum, as she might find it really useful to get in contact with people who have been where she is now.
Good luck to you and your mum,
CM
x
Hi there Bradders.
So glad you came on here to get reassurance and support from all of us. I am like your mum and had calcium deposits and had WLE surgery which showed I had 1 infected node, this was such a shock to me too as I was sure that it couldn’t have gone to the lymph nodes. I then had more surgery and felt that the cancer had left my body and I could then face further treatment to mop up any stray cells.
My mum was also diagnosed 3 weeks after me and I understand how worried you are about her - it’s difficult to see your mum as being vulnerable and ill when usually mums just aren’t! Trust me … your mum will be worrying about you and your exams (my daughter is about to take her GCSEs) and she will quickly recover from this surgery. Keep talking to your mum and dad, tell them how you are feeling, don’t bottle things up, you can then help support each other going forward.
Keep us updated on your mum and feel free to rant.
Rachelx
Thanks again for all your kind words, they are really helping me through.
I came home last night as I just couldn’t stay away knowing Mum was in hospital and I saw her late last night. She was in good spirits, being as cheeky as she usually is! And you’re right, she was more concerned about how my exam had gone and how will I get work done when I’m at home - typical Mum!
I’ve spoken to my tutor and have organised for a late hand in for my finals which will definitely help.
I really can’t thank you enough for your support, I will suggest this site to Mum as I think it will help enormously.
Love to you all x
Hi Bradders
Its good to hear that you got through yesterday and I can fully understand the need you had to see your Mum was ok for yourself.
Good luck with the rest of your studies and best wishes to you and your Mum.
Esbee x
Sometimes you just have to see your mum. Your mum knows you love her. X
I’m sure your mum was delighted to see you, and I can completely understand her main concern being for your exams. Now you need to do her proud and get a starred first! Good luck with your finals, and I’m very glad your uni is being understanding.
Now go and do some more studying! 
CM
x