Please I need a lot of help …
My mum has been diagnosed with 2 cancers in the right breast with it travelling to the nymph nodes … she has now been told she will receive now after surgery … chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormone treatment!
I am obviously very scared as within our family we all had Retinoblastoma in 1 or both eyes as children (this is a very rare childhood cancer!)
Can anyone help me with what to expect?
I suffer from severe depression and anxiety so am very scared!!!
I have no one to speak to … so am VERY frightened???
I hope I make sense … Love T xxxx
Hi Carol55
It sounds like you’re feeling worried and anxious about your Mums diagnosis. It is natural to experience feeling scared, it may help to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The team on the helpline will be only too happy to talk to you and just be a listening ear. BCC are here to support you so please use us if it will help. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000.
Kind regards
Sam
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
So sorry to hear about your mum. Yoou will feel very scared.My daughters were devastated when I was told I had bc. I found I was comforting them. I had always been the strong one with them turning to me for reassurance and support woith their problems they thought me invincible. Your mum will be shocked and frightened but once she gets started on her treatment it will get easier and she will find that she deals with it. As to your depression I don’t know how it will affect you. I don’t know much about that. I am sure you will support her and be there for her. Try not to be too frightened keep posting with any questions some of the people on here are so knowledgeable and they will answer any of your questions. Please look after yourself love Eileen
carol,
also v. sorry to hear about your mum.
its natural in the initial period after diagnosis to feel scared, confused. My partner is just coming to the end of what seems like a very similar process. she had BC with lymph node involvement. she’s had surgery, chemo, just about to finish radiotherapy and just started hormone therapy. I think a lot of the fear is to do with the unknown. Giving advice on how to deal with the diagnosis and your feelings about it is difficult, as everyone reacts differently and needs/gives different types of support and guidance. Best most general advice i can give is talk to people. Its amazing how common bc is and you can get lots of support and guidance from others. forums here are very useful for info and chatting.
Statistics show that most women survive BC - about 80% i think (?). Once initial shock of diagnosis has been come to terms with you get into a coping mode. may also help in coping with it not to think all the time about whole treatment process and just deal with the part thats immediately in front.
good luck don
Hiya,
I am so sorry to hear of your mums diagnosis but I’m glad you’ve found this site. I was 34 when diagnosed in March, I had a mastectomy and total axillary clearance on March 29th. I started chemotherapy in May which will take me through to Oct, then, as with your mum, I will be having rads, hormones and also Herceptin (I’m HER2+).
Personally I found the mastectomy to be nowhere near as daunting experience as I had imagined. My boyfriend and I looked up ‘post mastectomy pics’ on the internet so we could sort of prepare ourselves. To be honest, I’m ashamed to say that what I saw scared the be’jesus out of me and I was really concerned about how I would look post-op as I am not able to have a recon until a while after the rads. Anyway, I have a neat small scar and look much better that I thought. I was in very little pain post-op and was managing quite well on good old paracetamol for the most part. I did have to take things easy for a while when I got home though so I was very grateful to have family around me who did the housework and shopping and stuff. It can be very frustrating not being able to do much but its sooooo important that your mum takes it easy when she gets home from hosp.
I won’t lie, chemo is pretty hard going, both mentally and physically. We are all on different types on here as it depends on many factors what treatment oncologists opt for. Whatever chemo your mum is put on there will defo be someone on here that is having it though and will be able to give you any advice you may need.
A diagnosis of cancer is very scary to the indivdual and everyone close to them. I knew v.little about bc prior to diagnosis and we found it to be a v.steep learning curve! However, most people find that once treatment commences they are able to handle things much better and start to feel much more positive about things. As worriedman says, its prob best to break the treatment down into stages and deal with the part that is immediately in front right now, which I guess is the surgery.
This website provides loads of informative leaflets and booklets re: bc and its treatments. I think I’ve got them all!! Perhaps you could order a couple on breast surgery. Also, be sure to get the ‘exercises after breast surgery’ booklet for your mum. I found this invaluable when I went into hosp. I’m sorry to hear of your depression and anxiety, the nurses on the bcc helpline are awesome and you could always give them a call to discuss some of your fears. I have recently started having counselling and find it immensly beneficial,
Take care of yourself and your mum, and please keep in touch,
Kelly
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