Hi folks hope it’s ok to post even though I’m not the patient.
As the title says my mum found out on Wednesday she has breast cancer, I am really struggling with it at the moment and cant really talk to anyone as I feel I have to put a brave face on for the sake of my mum.
She is 52 and was requested for a routine mamogramm 4 weeks ago, she received a recall letter last week and we sort of brushed it off that it was just a blurry image etc etc however on Wednesday they did a further mammogram of just 1 area of her left breast, an ultrasound and biopsies then they told her that she did have breast cancer and she would require surgery but they were not sure what yet?
I am totally devastated, I am very very close to my mum we see and speak to each other every day. I am trying to think positive that they have got the cancer early as she wasnt showing any symptoms and she is very well in herself.
She has to go back to the screening unit on Wednesday and then see the surgeons on Friday to discuss the next steps, its all the uncertainty at the moment and all the ifs and buts are continually going through my head. Mum also has a holiday booked to go to Spain in 2 weeks and for some reason she seems to think she can put surgery off and go her hols whereas I think I would rather get the operation over with asap.
I just hoped some of you lovely folks who had been through the same thing could advise and offer some advice on treatment, timescales and emotional issues as well, thanks in advance xx
It’s definitely ok for you to post to help your mum. How lovely that you’ve had the forethought to come and seek advice and support for her. I can see you’re going to really help her through it.
Firstly, don’t Google, it’s full of old or incorrect information. Treatments have come on in leaps and bounds over the years. Keep thinking positively. I was told it’s very treatable, even though mine has been very agressive and I only found it because of symptoms.
Bear in mind, your mum is most likely putting on a brave face for you. I do it with my family to the point where they often think I have no problems at all - which can backfire sometimes. Perhaps you should be open with how you feel to avoid any misunderstandings, but that’s just a thought based on my experience.
All the waiting is torture but once she gets started with treatment you’ll all begin to feel much better about it. Before you know it it will only be a horrid memory and even then the memory fades quickly.
Re her holiday. I was told a delay of a few weeks won’t make any difference as it doesn’t progress that quickly. I’m sure her surgeon will offer advice about it but it may be that they agree with her going and anyway it could take a few weeks to get as far as the appointment for surgery. I had an MRI scan before surgery so it was 3 weeks from diagnosis to my first op. I have been told it can be a 5 or 6 weeks wait for surgery. Therefore, if she still wants to go on holiday perhaps it will do her good to get away rather than be at home with nothing to focus on but the cancer.
I’m sure other ladies will be along soon with other information. I always end up thinking, why didn’t I think to mention that, once I’ve posted.
Anyway, keep chatting. I would suggest you just take one thing at a time because until she’s had her appointment with her surgeon and had an oncology appointment you probably won’t know what other treatments - it depends on lots of factors as to what treatments would be offered. Have a look through the publications page to check out the info on being newly diagnosed. But the Forum will have lots of advice and support for you and your mum. If you’re really worried do give the BCC helpline a call, they’re fantastic at making you feel better about things. They have lots of information, advice and understanding.
Hi 2littleboys and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support here as Flori has suggested please do call our helpliners for further practical and emotional support, you and your Mum are welcome to call and talk any concerns over, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
Here’s a link to the ‘Partners, family and friends’ forum threads and support which you may wish to use too:
You and your Mum may find the ‘Just diagnosed’ information via the following link helpful:
Hi 2littleboys, welcome
it’s great that you have come on here, sometimes it can be so difficult for the people who love us.
I was just like your mum. Called back after my mammogram, didn’t give it a second thought as it was my first and assumed that was the reason, bad image, nothing to compare it to.
they also told me on the day that it was cancer. However, until your mother gets her results next week you don’t really know what you are dealing with, and that is just the worst time imaginable. Don’t spend loads of time on Google, you will just freak yourself out. The leaflets mentioned on here are very useful but until you know dont look any further. You could write down any questions you have for next week.
I had a three week wait between diagnosis and surgery. My cancer was very small and not aggressive so a longer delay would not have made any difference. If your mum wants to go on holiday then I would recommend she goes. It’s so difficult when you are feeling fine but know that you have to go through treatment. Waiting is the worst thing but a bit of sunshine, good food and something to take her mind off everything might help.
the treatments now are never as bad as you think they are going to be and there is loads of support both for you and your mother. But the fear of the unknown is terrible. I was diagnosed five months ago and finished my rads four weeks ago. but it all depends on her results as to what treatment she can expect.
I hope you keep posting.
Hi everyone, firstly I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to reply and offer advice.
My mum had her appointment at the screening clinic at 12pm today we were so nervous however the news was unbelievable!!
The doctors got it wrong?? She doesn’t have cancer she has a condition called microglandular adenosis? Apparently it is very rare and the doctor was so vague as this is the first time she has come across it. It presents like a cancerous tumour but it is non malignant.
My mum still needs surgery to remove it as if it was left it would become cancerous through time. This is the best news we could have ever wished for however at first I was slightly disappointed in the NHS as the doctor advised it was def cancer last week without the correct information but the outcome in the end is a miraculous one.
So thank you again for all the helpful advice and wishing everyone the best of luck on their journeys xx
Delighted to hear your mum’s news, 2littleboys. Thanks for letting us know.
I’m often surprised when people say they were told it was definitely cancer, before the results of biopsies etc. It was pretty obvious from my symptoms and tests I had done that they were sure mine was malignant but they didn’t say anything of the sort until they had the biopsy results.
Anyway, she can now enjoy her holiday. I shall wish her best of luck with her op and you can now take a deep breath … and relax.