I had a mx with immediate DIEP reconstruction on 29th May this year and my OH is working hard on me to get me to agree to having a nipple. I fail to see the point of further pain and healing - especially as the wound on my tummy is still (after 11 weeks!) healing very slowly and is still being treated with medihoney and dressings.
Is anyone else having this problem? Can someone please give me some moral support? I really do not want further pain/discomfort simply for cosmetic reasons!
I had an mx and immediate LD flap recon about 18 months ago. I haven’t decided yet if I want to bother with a nipple - I’m tending towards not bothering - I’m happy with the way I look.
And that’s the whole point - are you happy? I’m a bit horrified that your OH is pressuring you. You have been through so much already. Maybe he needs reminding that, however good it looks, your recon is not a real boob. It’s never going to feel exactly like one or have the same sensation as a real one.
I certainly don’t see why you should be obliged to go through another procedure just for his benefit!
You can choose to have a nipple recon at any point. Why not suggest that he drops the subject for a year - and then see how you both feel.
So sorry to read that having a tough time at the moment. You have had very major surgery and it will take a long time for you to recover physically and emotionally.
As far as nipple reconstruction is concerned, it is a very personal thing and there is absolutely no rush to make a decision either way. Eighteen months on from my reconstruction I am completely used to my ‘smooth’ side and not bothered about nipple reconstruction. My hospital offer ‘stick on’ prosthetic nipples if people prefer that to tattooing etc. My understanding is that the tattooing lasts about two years and then has to be re-done, and reconstructed nipples often go flat again. Some people love their ‘finishing touches’ and others hate them. What matters is what you want, no-one else.
Just a thought, there is a video clip of someone having nipple reconstruction and tattooing here BBC Two - My New Breast, Katie's story: Nipple graft and tattoo which you might find useful. Your OH might find it helpful too. You might also want to chat to the helpline people at BCC as they are knowledgeable and helpful.
If you are content as you are, then there is absolutely no reason to undergo any other procedures.
Moral support from me. It’s your breast and your decision. You are the one who has gone through it all. If you don’t feel ready for more surgery, my advice is don’t do it because you will not recover well if your heart isn’t in it and you are only doing it for someone else.
I am going through a lengthy recon at the moment and just had a nipple created on the recon breast. It has been extremely painful where part of the nipple has been removed on my good breast - more painful than I had expected and have been told that actually the discomfort may never really go away - ever.
Suggest if he persists you attach a live electrical wire to your OH’s nipple and ask hin to wear it for 24 hours, because that’s what it feels like.
Hi
I know around here, they don’t do nipple recon for at least a year after mx, so you have lots of time to think, and as RevCat says, you can get the recon at any point.
My dh did suggest I got a new nipple, but his reasoning (like your oh’s) was so that I don’t get looked at in swimming pool changing rooms. I had to point out that I use a communal changing room maybe 2-3 times a year and they are often pretty empty, so I am not too bothered either. As my scar has faded (I had my mx last October with immediate Stratice Mesh recon) my areloa is showing again, so the need for a nipple is even less.
TBH unless my scar fades almost completely, the scar is probably more obvious than the lack of a nipple.
Well that is just it DJ - I have never been topless bathing (sun or water!) but he says that is what he wants me to be able to do!!! Oh well as you say Amy’s Mum there is plenty of time - mind you the Registrar was talking about doing it in October this year!!! I don’t think so!
I am normally very easily led and persuaded but I don’t think that will be the case this time - certainly not soon! Unless I see a point to it I am not going to let it happen! Enough already!
Hi Liz, I had a nipple made and tattoo with some persuasion from my hubbie, I’ll be honest - its looks great and really finishes everything off. The only thing that no one has mentioned is how will it make your good side look. I had a LD flap so the nipple could only be in the oval of skin & fat from my back which made my good and droopy side look even worse. I became so self concious about my droopy side that I went ahead with a reduction & uplift to the good side, now 3 months on the nipples are still a couple of cm out and to top the lot I’ve lost nipple sensation and feel remorse for my good breast. I knew that this could happen but hoped for the best and it looks like I have been very silly & lost out on something that I had pleasure from. Think about how you FEEL not how you LOOK, I think sometimes enough is enough. Take care Burnie xXx
Thanks Burnie - that is what I am afraid of too! The PS says that they will try and match the other boob but then they go on to say that they can always fix that one to match if there is not a good match - well sorry but there is no way (and my OH agrees!) that they are touching my other boob!
So no more surgery for me until at least a year has passed!
Hi Lizdeb - sorry to butt in on your thread but I’ve just looked at the link Revcat posted - its really good. Are there anymore you know of Revcat? I have an appointment in January 2013 to discuss further reconstruction work but really want to know wants involved, the risks and the expected outcome before I decide to go ahead. My surgeon thinks I need fat transfer (I had immediate silicone implant), uplift on other breast and nipple. I feel I’m coping well with implant breast well as it is now but I do have every confidence in my surgeon so will listen to what she says and then decide.
I loved the pointless boobies too !
Wise decision Liz. I have only one nipple and have managed fine without one since my op. I did think about it at the time but I know my new boob will never match my old one so what is the point?
Have you asked him WHY he wants to have one done? Suggest to him that he have a tattoo on his ***** with your name on it and watch his reaction! I bet he will reconsider what he has suggested. Val
For those who don’t want a nipple recon - that’s fine, do want you feel is right for you, I fully understand the desire not to mess around with unnecessary surgery - but for anyone who is wondering and perhaps being put off reading this thread I would like to add that I have had a nipple recon and tattoo (never any question in my mind, I always wanted it) and I am delighted with it. It really alters the appearance of the recon and makes it look more natural. My daughters were really impressed with the result too.
So as usual the answer is do whatever feels right for. I think following your instinct is probably the best thing to do.
@ Roadrunner - so good to have your perspective as someone for whom this was absolutely the right way to go.
@ Katyb - from the ‘My new breast’ link there is a selection of other videos on chemo, rads and breast recon, but only selected procedures. If you feel brave enough, and google the specific recon you are interested in, and then go to the videos (Youtube or Vimeo) there are some both animations and real surgery stuff. I’m reluctant to post links as I don’t know the pedigree of any of them, the BBC were recommended to me by the hospital I was treated at because the featured German PS is the one I had/have (and she is VERY keen to get the symmetry perfect and the cosmetic finishing touches done… when I’ve seen my BCN for checkups she reminds me that it is MY choice and no-one elses)
@ Lizdeb and DJ… much hilarity here at the pointless boobs comment.
Goodness, I bet you’d all envy me. I didn’t have a mastectomy, although that was only because my breasts are so large - they took 600g off (and I wish I could have the other reduced, but it isn’t working out). But on the good side, I have two supernumerary nipples, in a direct line below the breast. People used to make fun of them at junior school. Now I know what they’re for.
Just to add to the mix, my daughter asked me this morning if my nipple would ever come back (she is only 6). I told her that I probably wouldn’t get a new one and told her about the options of a tattoo and how the dr would make me a new one if I really wanted. She was amused by the thought of a stick-on one, so maybe I should look into that just to keep her happy. Mind you, if I get one, half the school will be told about it . As long as she doesn’t want to take it in for show and share.
Hi there. Just to add another thought to the mix. I am having a nipple recon next week (should I look at your bbc programme link revcat?!) and for me, although I am not really bothered about having it done and am quite happy with my recon breast as is … when I was first diagnosed nearly 2 years ago this was the last bit of the treatment/operations that was offered to me and for me, psychologically, it signifies the ‘end’ (I had MX, recon, chemo, radio, replacement recon, reduction on the other side) it is more of a celebration that I’m done with operations/treatment (apart from the tamoxifen and all the lovely side effects that brings) and I can hopefully really start to move forward …
Trying not to sound patronising - it really is your decision and after all what we go through to get to this stage, don’t rush your decision, you can have it done anytime. I’ll let you know how I get on next week!
All the very best
Rachel.
Hi all
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions!
@RevCat My OH and I watched the BBC link which was just about the tattooing and was impressed with how realistic it looked but it also looked incredibly painful even if only for a short time! I am still going to leave it at least for a bit!
@Amys Mum I love the idea of Amy taking your silicon nipple to a show and share at school! LOL
I am sticking with my pointless boob for the foreseeable
. As long as she doesn’t want to take it in for show and share.