Hi everyone, Dont have much time at the moment as I’m spending most of my time with my sister and as much as I know she’s exhausted I am too. I am a carer for my mother who broke her shoulder last year and am also a single mum with 2 teenage kids. My sister has noone except me as the rest of the family live too far away. I’ve spent the last 2 days at the hospital with her speaking to consultants and BCN and cant sleep although I should as I have to try to work tomorrow and back at hospital on Friday for her CAT scan before her surgery on Tuesday.Probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself which makes me feel guilty as its my sister that is sick and not me and I know she is devasted.
Anyway would love to chat to anyone in similar situation.
Thanks for taking the time to read my problems. Was great just to be able to write them down x
Hi
Welcome to the forums, I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime you may find it useful to contact our free helpline on 0808 800 6000, opening hours are Monday to Friday 9.00 – 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 – 2.00
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi mysister,
You have every right to feel low at the moment, please don’t feel guilty, your sister has had a tremendous shock and so have you. I was dx in May 2007 and I have always felt that in some ways it was tougher for the people around me, especially my husband. I was getting support from the health professionals, other women going through BC, loads of people but it was different for my family, people never asked how my husband was, only me.
The time after diagnosis and before treatment starts is always an anxious time, you’re sort of in limbo before you know what’s what. The fear of the unknown… Just try to take one stage at a time.
If you want to ask any questions about treatment, I’ll try to help, I’ve had mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, herceptin and currently on tamoxifen (yes the whole shebang!)
Take care, a big hug for you and your sister,
Veggie
Hi Mysister,
I’m in the process of having the whole shebang also,was diagnosed in Feb this year so feel free to ask away. The support you are giving your sister is invaluable, the emotons you are feeling are totally normal and you certainally have a lot on your plate at the moment. There will be lots of hurdles to overcome in the coming months and it’s best not to think too far ahead, just deal with each one as it comes. It is very hard being a carer and a lot of ladies on this site will tell you that it’s our carers and friends who have gotten us through a lot of tough times. You must take time for yourself though to remain physically and mentally strong. Your health is just as important as your sister’s. We will be here to help you as best as we can, there is a lot of help and support here and the wealth of knowledge is vast.
Sending you lots of Hugs
Fiona xx
Hi I have not logged on for a while and was sorry to see what a rough time you and your sister are having. My sister was diagnosed in June and has just undergone surgery to remove her lymph nodes. We are waiting for the results whatever they are she starts chemo in october. It is awful to see someone you care about have to go through this and it looks like you don’t have much help. My sister is also my best friend and I have relied on her emotional support for a long time. I am the major source of help as my parents live in another city and she has a 3 year old and nine month old. I hope evrything goes well for you both and take care of yourself as well as your sister. love and hugs xxx
Hi My sister I posted this earlier on a different website hoping for some direction and after reading your post I think we may have alot in common. I would be grateful for someone to talk too as well xx
‘My names Rachel and about a month ago my eldest sister told me she has breast cancer. I’m really struggling to cope with everything, which I feel very guilty about. This is not about me, it’s about her but I just can’t seem to keep on a level, whether that’s high, low or just somewhere in the middle. To be honest I want to run, which is terrible I know but I’m so frightened! I can’t do anything to make it go away or make it better. I have a great relationship with my sister, we have talked loads and she’s got a cracking outlook, much similar to mine believe it or not! I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and I’m not in control, which if I’m honest is my downfall as I’m normally very much in control. Job, home life etc etc. The whole situation is showing the cracks within my whole family, I’ve four sister’s in totally and a Mom. My sisters seem to be just get on with things, my mom is trying to control everything lol which is probably were I get that from! I’m stopping myself from going to the doctors as I’m affraid of what my happen i.e… losing it I think? As I’m typing this I’m feeling guilty as it should be all about my sister. I’m not ill, I’m not battling with cancer! I’m just battling with my emotions, a piece of cake in comparison. It seems to have brought ever little problem flying back up to the surface, all my boxes have had their lids torn off and what had been dealt with has all come back. I’m going to apologise now (guilt again) I wish I was dealing with this better, I want to deal with it better to be truthful, for my sis and myself and for my husband and friends.
Any advice at the mo would be great, maybe the doc’s is the answer but I seem to feel that would be wrong for me at the moment. Thanks for taking the time to read my babble :-)’