Well Wednesday afternoon exactly 8 weeks since I was referred to the breast clinic at around 2.40 I will find out whether I have Cancer or a benign lump. In some ways it feels like its been going on for ever but in some ways the time has gone quickly, does that sound weird!!!
I have had the problems with my stupid GP saying I had no lump, then having to go to emdocs to have it found and referred. Two mammograms, two ultra sounds, one fna, one core biopsy, a wire in my boobie and then the lumpectomy!!!
As most of you know my mum has BC and this weekend the waiting for my results has really got to her and she admitted she has been really upset and down. I feel so bad that this has affected her when she is fighting her own battles.
On Friday I was told that if my results were ready today, they would try and arrange an appointment with a different consultant to give me the results. I phoned up but was told the results were in pathology waiting to be typed up. I came off the phone and burst into tears as felt yet again I had built myself up and then at the last minute not got told what I wanted to hear. I phoned back again because the secretary had started talking about cultures being ok etc and I had ended up thinking omg there is something else she it not telling me but knows its bad news. Luckily I god a lovely BC Nurse, she was an absolute sweetie and went off to try and find out my results, unfortunately they have not been reported, but I truly believe she would have told me them if she had had them. She said she would look out for me in clinic on Wednesday.
I have three people coming with me for support, hubby, sister and a good friend! I actually think they will have to carry me through the door as my legs are going to be like jelly as I am so scared!
Anyway just wanted to write on here how I was feeling as I find it helps.
Hi Jules
Know exactly how you feel about the time span.I can’t beleive that its now June and I was dx in Oct last year,but god have I been through the mill since then. I truly hope you are strong enough on Weds, you have good support and no matter what the outcome you know you have good friends here to help in whatever shape they can.
Hiya Jules
Good look for Wednesdays, I never look the same on Wednesdays anymore and dread walking into that hospital. Know its hard but at least you will know one way or another and then things can move on as the waiting is hard.
Yes, good luck Jules. Will be looking here to see the results, and very much hope to read that you are given the all clear. You know that we are all here for you and hope to continue to hear from you and to know how you and your mum are. Sarah x
Everything crossed for Wednesday Jules, I know what you mean about being carried in, when they called my name out i thought i was going to be sick. They had to call it twice cos I couldn’t move, felt like I was being called up for sentencing.
Had both my sisters with me, my news was bad cos it was BC but good cos it was early and small.
Wow AJ, you have summed it up exactly, that is exactly how I am going to feel like I am being sentenced for a murder or something and waiting for the jury to come in.
I had a text when I woke up today from one of my best friends, saying only one day to go sweetie, and I felt sick with fear!
Yeah the waiting is agonising isnt it. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with BC, then went for a liver and bone scan to see if the cancer was anywhere else in my body. When I went to hospital for the results of the scan I waited two and a half hours before I was seen. I have never in my life felt so scared, I knew I had BC but at that time I didnt know if it was elsewhere in my body and the wait was awful, my friend and my mum were with me thank god otherwise I think I might have just walked… ‘Luckily’ enough though the cancer was just in my breast and nowhere else. I am now over two years on and I’m doing fine. I would just like to wish you the best of luck with your results and I hope it is benign, but if its not please believe me it is not the end of the world, even though it might feel like it.
Thanks ladies. I must admit I have just been to the hairdressers to have my roots done. And when she asked if I wanted to re book, I was about to but then thought no, your tempting fate, maybe you will be having chemo by then and won’t have any hair. I left and suddenly felt so sad. I am so glad I had my sunglasses on because even though the day is dull and depressing and reflects how I feel, the sunglasses stopped people from seeing the tears that were coming quite quickly.
I felt sad for lots of things, my mum with her cancer, my daughter with her depression, my hubby loosing his mum when he was 13, my appointment tomorrow to find out if I have cancer and a host of other sad things that have happened in my life. I feel so sad and alone, and frightened. I can hardly see the keyboard now for tears. Why do we cope most of the time, then some days it just gets to you and you cry like you are never going to stop crying.
Hi Jules
I know what you are going through. I get my path report result tomorrow at midday.
My appt last week was cancelled since the results were back - I got the call at 6:30 the night before to cancel.
So now, I am going through the whole thing again today… its like Groundhog Day without the romance and comedy.
I keep thinking that ‘they’ all know, and why dont they just call me to put me out of my misery, and if they had good news to give me, then they would have called.
Bit of a mess.
hi jules .just wanted to say stay strong for tommorow ,you will be ok and we are all behind you holding your hand so when you go into that room we will all be there behind you! hope you get the good results you so badly need , lots of us buddies are thinking about you . let us know as soon as you can we will be waiting with a big hug .lynn x
Thinking about you a lot today Jules, I understand how you’re feeling, it’s hard to get things out of your mind when you’re worrying. Really hoping you get the results you want and then you can try to move on back to normality. Sending you love and hugs xx
Thanks ladies, your kind wishes are really appreciated. To make matters worse my daughter has been bullied by a “friend” of hers for quite a while, My daughter suffering the way she does with her depression gives in to everything this girl says and does, but the other day she actually stood up to her after we told her she couldnt let this girl continue you to do this. Today my daughter has been receiving vile texts from this girl making fun of her mental health problems. I am so angry. Today of all days, and this happens. I feel like phoning up this girls mum and telling her exactly what her daughter is doing and also explaining that I am waiting to find out whether I have cancer, along with my mum having cancer, and I really dont need this on top of everything!
Hi Jules
I want to wish you all the best with your results tomorrow, you too Lisa.
Jules I don’t know how old your daughter is but bullying is so hard to cope with, my daughter went through it twice whilst attending school. Give her a big hug and tell her the bully is the one with the problem. Maybe keep those texts in case you have to forward them to the so call friends mother if things continue.
Good luck.
Caz x
All the best for tomorrow Jules,
All my appointments and results were on Wednesdays and I began to hate the day even though for me it is the end of my three day week.
Will be praying for you and thinking of you tomorrow afternoon.
Magsi x