Hi all
I don’t know if I am going to post this but I thought writing it down might help me. I was diagnosed in march and had my operation in early April. I needed to have clearance because of 1 node. While I was waiting for the op i noticed an enlarged node in the back of my neck. This was all about 6 wks ago.
I mentioned it to my bcn and she was not bothered. So i mentioned it to my surgeon and he mumbled something about an infection. After the op it had not gone so I went to my gp. She said that because of where it is- at the back it is very unlikely to be bc related and she gave me a course of antibiotics just in case. They did not work. When I saw the surgeon again for my node results I mentioned it again and he felt my neck. He said he could not feel anything ( my gp could) but that he would send me for an ultra sound.
At the ultrasound the radiologist put the probe on and said is that it and we all looked at a small oval on the screen. Unfortunately she never found it again. She tried for twenty minutes. My surgeon was satisfied that that was it. I asked for another ultrasound a week later but the surgeon said it would be up to oncology to decide what to do next.
I met the oncologist last Monday. I told him the saga and he felt the node. He said it was not associated with the bc.
At the time I was reassured. But the longer time goes on the more doubts creep in. I want to trust him but i am worried that they are missing something. I am starting chemo on Tuesday and now I am scared it will shrink and I will be convinced it has spread. I have read the previous threads on glands and have seen the scary outcomes so I think that is adding to my worries. Thanks for Reading this - if you haven’t given up already. My bcn says I have to learn to trust my doctors. Debx
Hi Deb, What you are feeling is perfectly understandable. I think any of us would feel the same if we were in your situation.
BUT I do think that you should trust your Consultant and agree with your BC Nurse on that point. There can be many reasons for a node being enlarged. As you will be attending the hospital for your chemothereapy you can always point out to the doctor that you are still worried about it. Hopefully they will keep an eye on your nodes but it is okay to remind them about your concerns. But don’t feel that you are wasting their time or feel embarrased by telling them. But come on here and tell us your concerns, just like you have done today. That is what we are here for. We know what it is like to worry about things…we have ALL been there. Keep in touch. Hope your chemo does the trick. LOve Val
Hi Deb,
I find it does help to write things down.
Not sure l will ever trust my body, doctors, surgeons, so very hard to put trust into people, after you have been diagnosed with breast cancer!
I know the trust l once had in my doctor has gone, not for anything she has done, just because l am so frightened of this dreadful cancer, every ache, it is so frightening.
How l would love to be able to trust the doctors. But because we are so frightened it is almost impossible to put your trust into others. Hopefully one day we can learn to relax, but certainly early days for me.
Sandra x
Hi Ya Deb
You have just written down my exact worries. I too have an enlarged neck node.(I had aux node clearence 2 nodes affected) I have mentioned it to my onc and was told not to worry as nodes are stange things and can become enlarged! She did feel it! I have yet to see the same onc and have had my third chemo! I dont want to sound paranoid but these things do worry us.
Val I really appreciate your words of wisdom. Trust is just such a tricky thing. I don’t know these people and I am trusting them with my health. But I will drive myself crazy if I don’t as am sure there are going to be many more worries in the future. Hopefully see you on chit chat soon.
Sandra a completely understand where you are coming from especially as from Reading your posts your doctors have told you things that have turned out not to be true.
Tedoris did they offer you an ultrasound? Am sorry you are worried to. I know nodes are funny things. I just want to be reassured that when I start chemo they aren’t shutting the door after the horse has bolted.
Hi Midge ( Debs), I always remember worrying endlessly about my daughter who often had enlarged nodes on her neck. She disn’t need antibiotics and they cleared up all by themselves…then they would reappear when she was a bit run down. She is an adult now and has had no serious illnesses. But it did have me worrying and I had sleepless nights.
Nothing can stop us from worrying. Sometimes we have to TRY to trust others…but if anything worries us at all when we already have BC I think it is only right that we are listened to. Sometimes it is good to remind the doctor/nurse our concerns and worries. BUT they have got it wrong at times…have said the wrong thing…have spoken to me in a way I do not like…YET I put my trust in them all the time and do not hesitate to let them know when something is worrying me…how would they know otherwise. Hope you have peace of mind soon…to anyone having things to worry about. Keep well. Much love Val
I think the others have already said everything about why you are feeling so worried. I too am full of fears about every ache and pain and lump and bump. I have realised that my GP refers me to the onc or the surgeon for anything that really worries me and it isn’t because he really believes there is something wrong. It is just because he isn’t the most qualified person to reassure me that there isn’t anything wrong, given my bc history. What I am really grateful for his his understanding of my need to be reassured and neither he, nor the surgeon or onc, have ever made me feel like I am wasting their time as they all know that recurrences can occur and things can be missed. I am now on my 3rd referral back since I finished rads 4 months ago.
You are not wasting anyone’s time either. It is important that you feel reassured and have peace of mind so if your suspicious symptom persists and you are worried, keep pushing until you are reassured.
Val - my little boy has nodes like small planets in his neck and the health visitor said this was not unusual in children. I feel like I keep mentioning it to everyone and they keep trying to reassure me. I get the feeling that my bcn is starting to get irritated with me. But I will definately mention it when I go to the chemo unit.
Elsk- my OH Asked me what it would take to stop me worrying about it and I said someone telling me exactly why they don’t think it is bc related, apart from where it is. So far they have just said they are not worried about it. I try to remind myself that if the onc was worried he could have asked for more tests but he didn’t . But there is a part of me that would have liked more tests just to rule it out completely.
I’m not surprised you have been referred back a few times. I think they could just pencil me in to the appointment book every couple of weeks for the next few years at least. Dx
Being one of those posted about nodes / lumps in neck and it did turn out to be BC related, apologies if you’ve read my posts and they’ve caused you more concern.
A little bit of extra detail might reassure you. My lump in neck is right above the collarbone and increased in size gradually before chemo started. I’m not sure whether the location is of any significance, but if yours haven’t increased in size since you’ve discovered it, it’s more likely that it has nothing to do with BC. As others have said, do mention it again to your medical team if you are still worried.
I have been told that the collarbone is where they are most suspicious of lumps. I just don’t like having any lumps any more. Please don’t apologise for your other posts. It was my choice to read them and everyone needs to have the chance to share their experience. Thank you for explaining your situation a bit further. Dx