Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Ladies


I have been using the forums since I was diagnosed in July 2016 and have found everyone to be so supportive (even at 3am :manhappy:), I have also been able to offer support to others over the course of my treatment, I have made sure that I was completely involved in all decisions regarding my options, researched everything I could, questioned the medical team and honestly was a bit of a pain in the bum, but at least I maintained some control over what was happening, I finished active treatment at the end of March (mastectomy,chemo,radiotherapy) and began taking Hormone tabs and Ibandronic acid, these were stopped in June due to SE’s including complete loss of appetite which is causing drastic weight loss, I will see my Onc at the end of August to discuss medication options again.


 I went on the Moving Forward Course, I am swimming exercising and to the outside world getting back on track, however I am really struggling with my emotions and anxiety at the moment and not sure what to do. I have been referred for counselling and my GP prescribed antidepressents but left it up to me weather or not I take them which I haven’t yet, my family is very supportive but are all advising me to take them just for a little while but I am concerned that they can be addictive and take a while to come off them, ideally I would rather see the counseller and then decide after about the tablets. 


My life at the moment just seems to be joyless and sad and I hate the way it is affecting everything around me, sorry for rambling would really appreciate any wise words, are the pills the short term answer, am I just being silly, I am usually a very upbeat in control sort of person and I know there is light at the end of the tunnel it just seems so very far away at the moment.


Hugs and Best Wishes

Mary x

Hi Mary ,well you could just be describing me !!! Also having issues with anxiety and GP given me anti - depressants but agreed to leave it a few days and see how I feel.Like you I am reluctant and I would love to find another way .I have been going for acupuncture and saw a homeopath but sometimes the anxiety is overwhelming taking its toll on my family .Anti -depressants are not a quick fix are they !!! Oh for a magic wand ,my GP said there is an element of post traumatic stress involved for us all and it can manifest itself in all sorts of ways.I had to have a hysterectomy in April and have had complication after complication and normal life just seems to have been put on hold for so long !! You have been through a very long period of treatment and it really does take some time to recover .Lets hope we both feel better soon .Feel free to moan here -think my family and friends are coming to the end of their tether !!!

Ps you need a hug not a kick up the backside !!!

Hi Jill,

Thank you for the reply and sorry to hear you are feeling the same, i agree about the time to recover and deal with the impact this “thing” has had on all our lives. Post traumatic stress sounds just about right, it’s like i have two heads one is sensible and can reason the other just goes into panic mode.:smileyhappy::smileyfrustrated:


 Last night a very good friend came to see me and handed me a jar, notelets and a pencil and explained that it is a "  memory jar good or bad " she suggested that when I am struggling I write down why and also when something happens that makes me smile I do the same and then put them in the jar, and then when I reach the end of the tunnel I can read them or get rid of them, whatever makes sense at the time, after i had finished crying her visit and timely gift was the first memory that went  into the jar. 


I will see my GP again on Thursday maybe she can chase up the counselling, as you say hopefully we will both be better soon


Hugs and Best Wishes


Mary x

Keeping everything crossed !!! It’s such a shame your rational head can’t kick the crap out of the one that says "panic " eh !!! It’s a deep seated response in a part of your brain that isn’t easily reached by rational thought -it’s a response to having been chased by a big bear (cancer )!!!

Hi Ladies
I think one of the problems is that the treatment has totally consumed me for so long, that at the end I’m left thinking ’ well what now?’ Definitely agree with the PTS.
Just wanted to say that I do take amitriptyline, as I think a few ladies on here do and they’ve really helped me. They are not addictive and you can wean off them slowly. They may be a short term fix, but that might be all you need.
Definitely sending a hug xx


I cant walk by without giving all you brave ladies a BIG HUG each !!! You have all given me such comfort during the past few weeks, i cannot thank you enough.  I am ok at the moment, just one more hurdle - a small op to remove the papilloma and biopsies, just to confirm diagnosis. 


Love, thanks and hugs xxx

Thank you Feather !! Good luck with op !

Hi Ladies


Just wanted to thank you all for your lovely replys, I am sure that with the support of each other we will all get there in the end, we will begin a new normal and eventually be able to put BC where it belongs, locked away in our own internal memory jar.



Mary x



I’ve just read your original post. What you discribe is how I often feel and I think lots of others do too. What you / we have been through is totally traumatic and life changing. I feel very different about my self now, not so young at heart, not so sexy, no longer invincible, ah the optimism of being young. And when I had a recent worrying blip I feel like I totally melted down.


What I really want to say is - you are not alone, nor are you being a wimp. Group hug anyone?



Think an anxiety support group is probably needed for all of us struggling with this .Had GP appt this am for blood test was gibbering wreck !!! Had to explain to nurse I had anxiety issues at the moment -she was lovely but felt a complete prat !!!

Sue doctor has offered me Sertaline(?) but I would prefer not to take them if I could find other ways but at the moment the anxiety is overwhelming .He has given me small number of Valium but they just make you sleepy for a bit !!! I go regularly for accupuncture but she is away at moment for a few weeks ,that is my normal emergency rescue remedy !!!

I was given Amytryptaline for pain relief that I am suffering post op but haven’t taken them as yet -keep getting side effects from medications that make things worse so reluctant to try anything new !!!

Morning ladys


Im sat at home recovering after my op, everyone in the house at work, it so easy for me at the moment to feel down, and alone , and feel useless, but then i come on the forum and read about all of you ladys and how strong everyone is and each and everyone of us are suffering in our own ways, you all make me feel so much stronger and i certainleyley dont feel alone, what would we all do without this forum,


Big hugs to you all, and fortunatley the sun is shining today, so i think a nice walk could be in order today.


Debbie xx

What were you prescribed them for Sue ?

R u worried about changes to boob Sue?

I’m on first name terms with most of the staff at my GP surgery after the last few weeks of continual problems .You cannot get a quick appointment at my surgery unless you go through screening process which involves talking to a nurse or a doctor !!! They will oh it’s that nutcase again with yet more ailments !!!

You do feel better after you have been though don’t you ??

I hope so. Feeling quite anxious now?

Good luck hope it’s nothing !