need to speak

I have kept a diary on my laptop since the day I found my lump I have left it open on my desktop for everyone to see its a lot of things that I dont tell people how I feel etc but it helps to get it all down from small things to major and readin it bac over the last 5 months (when I found my lump) I have come along way and you will too try writing how your feeling when you feel it it helps believe me some peple dont want to talk to you about how their feeling in case you get upset so my kids write it down and I can read it makes me feel better rather than knowing they dont feel anything does this make any sense but write down the funny things too that happen and there are a lot like when i went to see surgeon I asked him about recon in the future and he said it was possible using the fat from my stomach so guess what look out Jordon here i caome I have enough there for GG’s so look on the bright side hunny every cloud has a silver lining you just got to find yours

dear chewbacca, cant believe you said that thing bout the lena martell song! i kept thinkin that the other day and was thinkin what a saddo i was and that only people who were especially religious would be into that! was doin me own head in! suppose its true, but still pretty dreadful! has been confirmed today thet i am havin op on 6th june but consultant hadnt got result of mammogram so cant tell if will be lumpec or mastec. am quite ok tonight but is one hell of a roller coaster even now! apprec if you could write back or anyone who could poss be out there in cyber space and yet in reality a bit too grounded for comfort at the moment. hugs to all you (mainly) lasses out there.

oh yeh and enjoy the wedding chewbacca!

joanne, nice one! he serious bout your tum? certainly sounds like a silver lining to me! anyway< am gonna stop hoggin this site and get to bed. nite everyone x

Hello Ali - found your thread! you wrote on mine… so I looked for you. What a horrible time you’ve been having. No one knows what to say, no one can really help. But as all the ‘seasoned ladies’ here have said, you do cope and you will come through it. I am not frightened of cancer. I have concernens about how my disease and consequential inablity to function on the level that I normally do will affect my family, but I don’t see cancer as being different from any other disease. My daughter (13) asked me ‘why is our family so unlucky mum?’( - she had been diagnosed with type1 diabetes last Sept, my mum died of bc in 2003, my father in law has just had huge surgery for cancer in his neck (aged 78), i have BC and have to have all the adjunctive treatments as well as the major surgery I’ve just endured… ) I said ‘It’s not that bad Lo - you could have renal failure and I could have leukaemia. Now THAT would be bad luck. But we can live with our problems, they ARE surmountable, we just have to adapt.’ She & then skipped around wearing tights on our heads to test out how it’ll be with no hair. I am lucky. I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful children, a job I enjoy, lots of very good friends and am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.

Ypu will be fine. Just hang on in there!!!

Big big love, Td xxx