Hi need to speak, anyone on right now?
I am here! not sure if thats any good xx
hey pet i was diagnosed friday 9th. had mri today, then met my partner and neice. I’m tearing them apart… feel so bad for what i’m doing to them… how do you cope???
Well hun, I am not at that stage yet, have my op on friday to find out whether I do or dont have, and I am sorry I dont know how to comfort you, but I know from being in the same position as your neice and partner (my mum was dx in March 08) that for about a month it was such a shock, but you do cope, you do get used to it, and it does get easier, I can look at my mum now and not just see cancer, they will cope sweetie, it seems hard now but trust me it gets easier. Hope that helps a wee bit. xxx
ps For the first month I smothered my mum with flowers, phone calls every few hours, but I can’t explain it but I am still very worried but I have accepted it and just want to help her through it,but now her cancer does not consume every thought.
xxx
Thanks for answering petal… its just sooooooooooo much waiting!!! Don’t quite know whats happening… saw a plastic surgeon last tuesday who said she may be able to do a reconsttion but then today they said “well maybe”… n then you just think it doesn/t matter, just take it all off ! Get it all out… sorry I’m just so nuts right now!!! ;0(((
What’s happening with you luv?
Hello - Just read your message. The shock when you are told you have breast cancer is terrible, you and your family feel as though life has been torn apart and it is hard to see the way forward. Please believe that you WILL all get through the weeks and months ahead, and that you will get lots of support both from the doctors and nurses and all the people on this site. I was diagnosed in November and have since had surgery and chemotherapy and am now going through radiotherapy. I am just one of thousands of woman going through this. We do manage, and we do help each other, and life does go on. Have you tried phoning the Breast Cancer Care helpline? Do keep posting here, you will always find someone who can help out one way or another, even if just to hold your hand through cyber space. You might want to tell us a bit more about your diagnosis and what the treatment plan is - sometimes it helps to write it all down. Very best of luck… and Jules, thinking of you for Friday xx Sarah
Your more than welcome hun, I wish I could be of more help to you, but was glad at least I was there to reply.
With me my results have come back inconclusive, so am having a lumpectomy on Friday, and I go to the hospital to have a wire fitted tomorrow via ultra sound to mark the spot. I don’t know the size of the lump and are too damn scared to ask!
My mum is on Letrazole and her tumour is shrinking, but she goes back to the Marsden in June to have an MRI to check for nodes involvement etc.
All in all a total nightmare for my family!
Love Jules xxxxxx
Oh and Sarah is right, the BCC helpline are absolutely AMAZING!!! Those ladies are what has kept me going, without them I would be in a terrible mess!
And Sarah thank you so much for you good wishes.
xxxxxxxx
Thanks Sarah and Jules… it’s just soooooooooo scary! Everyone keeps telling me to stay positive but how can you when you are told such devastating stuff/??? It just feels just now that my whole life is falling apart and will never be the same again… jut want to scream and shout and swear!!! X
Well do that lol yesterday I had a terrible day, I screamed at hubby like a banshee, through my sunglasses at him (sounds so petty now) lol then rang up the BCC helpline sobbing hysterically, by the time I came off the phone I was laughing! Me and Hubby went for a nice walk and today has been a great day with my family, nieces and newphew etc.
Sometimes you have to blow up, let things erupt to feel better.
And most importantly, take each day at a time, don’t look to far ahead.
Love and hugs xxxxx
Hey guys …I don’t have a treatment plan just yet… just that I have a lump that 6 weeks ago they told me was defo not the big ‘C’ word but 'cos my ultrasould was bad they would test again and hey ho got a call to say that it was!!! PS dropped it in to the conversation that it was 28mm which sounds HUGE! and its right next to my nipple… Holy schomoly!!! X
Jules… you’re such a wee sweetheart! Such nice words… Thankyou X! Worst part for me right now is waking up in the morning and not hearing my alarm when my partners goes off… and then just for a few seconds I forget about it then it just makes me gag!!! Sorry I’m ranting again… can I not get out of this cheesy movie now???
Luv
Bga x
Hi Bga - How well I remember waking up on those early days and then thinking “oh no, I’ve still got breast cancer” … in truth life is never the same again, how can it be when you have come face to face with something as huge and threatening as this. But life is still wonderful even if different! I am just dashing out now (radiotherapy). If you are still there, and wide awake, and feeling like you just want to get it all out and have a sob, or a yell or any of those things right now, why not think about giving the Samaritans a call. They are there 24 hours a day and very happy just to listen - you certainly don’t have to be on the edge! Then tomorrow you can call the ladies at Breast Cancer Care for some expert support. Hope this helps, and that you get some sleep later on. Will look in here later and see how you are - you have been through a lot all ready thinking you were in the all clear and then being told you had cancer, and now not knowing about a reconstruction, but slowly everything will fall into place, and once you have your treatment plan it is a lot clearer. When do you see the docs again? Sarah xx
Hey Sarah.thanks so much… im going to bed now cos I’m tired n my arms are sore cos they could’nt find a vein to put the dye stuff into… sorry… feeling a bit sorry for myself which is so unlike my and that makes me feel worse!!! If I get my recon I will defo need radio so would you mind telling my about it in wee bite sized bits???
You take care sweetie
BGA xxx
Hi - Hope when you are reading this it is after a long sleep, and that you feel a little better and that your arm is less sore. I am more than happy to share my experiences with you, but often people find it easiest just to take one step at a time and not to look too far ahead or it can seem an enormous mountain to climb. Once you know just what treatment is planned for you, then have a look at the threads and you will be able to follow other people’s stories there, and join in when you want to. So far for me the radiotherapy is very straightforward, a few minutes treatment every day (Monday-Friday) 30 sessions in my case. Don’t be surprised that you feel sorry for yourself at the moment, you have every reason to, but we’ll be here for you. Sarah xx
Hi chewbacca
I’m sorry if we have posted this to you before but you may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
As your fellow forum members have kindly suggested, if you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence about your fears and concerns, please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues and are able to offer you advice and help or just a ‘listening ear’ The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi chewbacca
Just seen your post. Can only agree with Sarah - taking it one step at a time is the way to go.
I like Sarah was diagnosed last November (in fact Sarah and I have shared a lot of our experiences on here!!) When I was told that it was definitely BC it felt like the btottom had dropped out of my world - i couldn’t think straight, couldn’t consider anyone else’s needs or feelings, just wanted to slope off and pretend it wasn’t happening.
But at the end of the day - it was! You do learn to deal with it. When I was first given my results and treatment plan I couldn’t imagine how I would ever get through it. My lump was 3cm, with lymph node involvement and I was her2+++. My treatment plan involved right mastectomy and node clearance (I opted not to go for reconstruction - didn’t seem important), 4 x chemo, radiotherapy, 4 more x chemo then a year of herceptin - all I could think was how the hell was I going to do all that !!
And here I am - 7 months later - having completed all of the chemotherapy, all of the radiotherapy and am about to start on a year of herceptin in 3 - 4 weeks time. I’m not going to lie - it wasn’t all easy, some days I felt like hite - but overall (though it didn;t seem like it at the time ) - the good days outweighed the bad ones. Coping was made easier by dealing with each part of the treatment plan alone - in ‘bitesize’ chunks.
I used these forums a lot - as you will see there are threads (discussions) to cover every eventually - such as help for those newly diagnosed, top tips for coping with chemo, having surgery etc. I just dipped in to the relevant sections as I approached each different treatment. I would never have coped without it - and when the answer to my question wasn’t there - I just asked - there will always be someone who is willing to share their experiences.
As you say in one of your earlier posts - it feels like your life will never be the same again - well it won’t, but it will be good again, different but good. I hope your arm is feeling better this morning Please keep us posted once you know more about your treatment plan.
take care
Margaret x
Thanks to all for your kind comments. I did manage to thankfully get some much needed sleep. My arms are still a wee bit sore but ok - nasty looking though (I bruise easily) which is a p*sser cos I’m going to a wedding on Saturday and wearing a sleeveless dress!.
Guess I’m just trying to take all this in. It’s the waiting that’s the worst part… and telling friends and family. Everyone has been so nice though - makes me realise how lucky I am to have such a wonderful partner and family and friends.
I cant get that awful Lena Martell song ‘One day at a time sweet Jesus’ out of my head - lol! (Sorry to any Lena Martell fans out there!)
I’m waiting on my consultant arranging an appointment to talk over the results of my scan. I have surgery provisionaly booked for next Saturday (31st).
Anyways take care
Ali x
Hi Ali
Like sarah and margaret i was a Nov diagosis… if you read other threads, you will see that sarah and margaret are good people… laughing - i’m not sure what i am - i opened a virtual pub - the dew drop inn where all are welcome. i think i am quite sensible and that i doing this stuff ok… waiting for things is horrible. once you ahve seen the doc again i hope it feels better. loads of us out here so talk when u need.
love the sign on name!!
take care Ali
Jennifer x
dear Bga
Your first comment was your real concern for the pain you are causing others, and I admit that was my first reaction to the news as well…how I going to tell people I love, how can I minimise the upset etc? Calling my mother with the news was one of the worst things I have ever had to do.
In then end , though, you must take care of yourself. I would have given anything not to have cancer, but I had it and they needed to be told, and they would just have to deal with it - no amount of wishing/worrying on my part was going to change that. So I told them as calmly and carefully as I could, not trying to be overly ‘positive’ nor being hysterical, just focusing on the main facts. I think in the end that worked fairly well, but would be interested to hear about others experience.
They are probably stronger than you think, and will cope ok - you have enough to worry about right now!
Sarah