Please please help - my daughter has just dropped the bomb shell that she is due to have breast enlargement in the next two weeks - after all she has seen me go through with BC. I cannot believe her stupidity. Feel so angry , fearful , disappointed in her, guess she knew I’d react like this so only hinted earlier this year that she was thinking about it. You hear such awful things - like leaking etc which can have devastating results on the girls health - I initially advised her to research it deeply and to discuss it with her GP which she assured me she intended to. It just horrifies me to have an op on your breast when you dont need to and then have something alien transplanted into it - it just fills me with dread for her future health. I am trying to see it her way she is after two children, still quite small and does find clothing a problem and falls back on Gell Bras. It does get her down but never ( or so I thought) down enough to resort to this.
Radiologists do hope you pick up on this post what now is concerning me is that when she is old enough to be offered mammograms how on earth will the transplants cope with the pressure of the plates being squeezed !!! makes my eyes water just to think about it and secondly will the ‘filling’ mask any growths. Although she is not high risk she will start at forty ( 33 now) 33 with the brain power of a 16 year old.
Please anyone if you’ve got a view on this I’d be so pleased to have your contribution I’m going out of my mind with worry - just when I was beginning to feel ‘back to normal’ Ha that was short lived.
Oh Lazydaisy, I have no good advice but did not want to see your post unanswered as you sound so distraught. I can understand a little of how you feel, a cousin of mine always talks about wanting an enlargement when she has enough money, and I always think - why!!?? I think boobs of ANY size are beautiful as long as they are healthy, why would you have unnecessary surgery on healthy boobs etc etc! I would swap my mangled and scarred C-cups for her perfect A’s any day!
But on the other hand I (and I am sure every single person on this board) has had unpleasant feelings of the brevity and uncertainty of life, so there is a part of me that thinks well, if you are unhappy about something and it is possible to be fixed then why not fix it?? I assume your daughter has been thinking about this for a while and is not entering into it lightly? If she is genuinely unhappy about her body, well to be honest it is her body. I don’t mean this offensively but when it comes to things concerning my body it is up to me, not my mum. I would hate to think I would upset my mum in any way (as I’m sure she thinks about you) but at the end of the day it is her decision.
I think all you can do is ensure she has done her research. I assume her doctors are aware of your/her medical history? I hope some more knowledgable people can help with the mammograms issue, I don’t know how women with implants get screened (but I assume there must be a way?)
Hi Lazydaisy, having just had bilateral mx I share your worries.
I’ve done a lot of academic research into body image etc, and it’s almost impossible to explain to women that this really is a political issue. The media and peer pressure is enormous, and I think even small girls worry about their ‘lack’ of breasts now. In my view, it’s partly a way of marketing expensive and unnecessary surgery by the creation of a ‘problem’ to be fixed, and partly a sexist backlash against feminism - let’s make women feel that they need to have cartoon porn boobs as a kind of ‘liberated, I did it for me’ thing, when actually it’s about men wanting to view (and often treat) women as sex objects. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are lots of lovely men out there who don’t think that way, I’m saying this as an eg of a general social trend.
It’s tragic that so many girls, teenagers and women are made to feel so bad about themselves for ‘failing’ to measure up to some fake notion of beauty. Did you see ‘Beauty and the Beast’ on C4? If not, try looking it up on 4OD as it makes some fantastic points about the cosmetic surgery/beauty obsession.
I don’t know what the answer is. It’s such a difficult situation to be in. I have a wonderful and fascinating book called ‘A History of the Breast’ by Marilyn Yalom which you might be able to find second-hand on Amazon. It explains all the different meanings of breasts in different cultures, which sounds weird but might help your daughter to think about her breasts in a different way.
I did ask one of the radiologists about mammograms with implants out of interest, and she said they can still do them, so I hope that puts your mind at rest a little.
All I can say is good luck, and as Sallieannie says I suppose you have to go with her decision ultimately, awful though that is for you.
Much love, Lynne xx
Thank you so much - will look up advised areas - yes I gather she is pretty informed. What makes an otherwise sensible girl get on this merrygoround beggars belief. She also has two girls … maybe she’ll understand in ten years time if her girls want cosmetic surgery how I ,her father and sister feel about this. However in the cold lght of day I dont want her to go down the depression route if she is really and truly being affected by these A boobs. I can think of alot better uses for four thousand pounds, bet you can too.
Her friend has had a double MX and recon so do wonder if this has had an influence on her but my argument is that this lass had her boobs removed whereas my daughter will be retaining hers with or without cancer. Again thank you so much for advice have taken it all on board .S x
im a breast care nurse and work in genetics and screening and we regularly do mammograms on women who hav had breast implants… had two in my last clinic… they do not go pop and they tend to be gel filled so even if they were to have a leak it doesnt flow through the body it gets contained within the capsule.
she will still be able to have mammogramms but will have longer appointments as it can take a bit longer to get positioned in order to view the breast tissue.
unfortunately we cannot live our childrens lives for them but let them make their own choices even if we disagree.
this topic really hits home to me as my 21 yr old wants bigger boobs 1 as ive had mastectomy without recon she knows the risks but has always had a body image problem shes very tiny and finds clothes hard to find that suit her size 6 frame .ive talked to her about the risks but feel her depression about her looks is the reason she wants bigger boobs ,shes wanting to be a model (not page 3 !!!)i think its a personal choice although im not happy about it i will support her as shes my daughter ,hopefully she may change her mind as she gets older after all i was a size 6 once .now im a rounded 60yrs old lol!