I’m 44, single parent to a 5 year old daughter who I love so very much. I had noticed a dull pain in my armpit about a month ago after my period. I left it a month because I wondered if it was a hormonal thing, following another period the dull pain was still there. I do check my breasts regularly and had not felt a lump. I made an appointment with the GP as there is a history of breast cancer in my family. My aunt passed away from it two years ago.
The GP found a lump. I was horrified and shocked. I had been feeling my boobs so why hadn’t I felt it? How come I didn’t know my boobs? She put my hand on it and it felt big. I’ve been referred and have an appointment on the 25th. Now I’ve been home I’ve gone back to being unable to find the lump easily.
It is understandable that I am so very afraid. I know others no doubt feel the same fear when waiting for a scan. I have told my best friend, sister and the man I’ve been dating for the past year. I’m too scared to tell my mum after she lost her sister.
I have not felt fear like this. I’m scared I won’t live to see another summer or watch my beautiful daughter become a woman or even make it till her birthday. My aunt had told us of her cancer and passed away within 6 months. I’m also aware that breast cancer is more aggressive in Afro Caribbean women which is my ethnic background. I don’t have anyone available to come to the screening with me. I can’t tell any more people either. I don’t know how on earth to get through this. I don’t have a group of friends local to me. This is a long and rambling message I know but I didn’t know where else to turn and I’m trying so hard to stay away from the internet and not search but I did and this is how I found this forum. Did I mention how utterly terrified and teary I am? After the screening they’ll be even more waiting for the result. I’m beside myself freaking out and trying to carry on as normal for my daughter sake.