new and mum of two young children

hiya, i was diagnosed last week, am booked in for opp on 3rd april and from that i will know if cancer is confined to lump or has spread, feeling ok about stuff so far, biggest fear is that cancer will blight my childrens childhood :frowning: i guess that i am mainly looking for other mums to share feelings and worries with, but also it would be nice to be part of a community who i can come to when my brain is on over time and trying to convince me that i have cancer everywhere and that im doomed!!!

Hi tarradiddle1
I saw your post and can only imagine how you are feeling. The forum is here to give support and I’m sure there will be people in similar situations re: children who can relate. I’ve answered so that your post will get ‘bumped’ to the current list and hopefully then get seen and you’ll start getting replies.

Hiya Tarra,
I know there will be other ladies along who will be able to advise. I was diagnosed last year at 36, and dont have children yet. Thats a whole other issue for me. Fertility.
Easier said than done saying try not to worry - but it does get easier once you know what you are dealing with and have an action plan.
Take care, and wishing you lots of luck.

Hi Tarra
Replied to your other posts but copied here in case you missed it.
Hi tarradiddle1,
im so sorry you find yourself here, you will though, get lots of support. I was diagnosed January 2012, my daughter was 4 at the time, terrified doesn’t come close. My every waking moment was consumed with the “what if’s”, every ache or pain meant it had spread, all i could think about was my daughter growing up without her mummy, my mind just wouldn’t let it rest. Fast forward 15 months and following surgery, chemo and radio, life is much easier. The hardest part is where you are now, the uncertainty, once you’ve had your treatment plan and you know what you’re dealing with you will begin to feel that you’ve taken some control back. As Anna says, there’s also a Facebook group for younger women diagnosed with BC, one of the forum members from this site set it up, it’s a lovely group of ladies.
Please feel free too PM me if you have any questions.
take care
Lydia x

Hi tarradiddle1,
I am also a mum of two young children (boy 5 and girl 2), I was diagnosed Aug 2012, have now had chemo Sept to Jan (six cycles TAC - complete response, whoop!) and surgery six weeks ago (therapeutic mammoplasty left, reduction right to match, lol) and am just waiting to start radiotherapy.
I also was so worried that my illness would affect my children, but honestly I think they are totally unaware, they are too young, and selfish in that good way that children are and should be selfish. As long as someone is there to feed them, drive them about and put them to bed they are quite happy, and even if they do notice that I am unwell at times or look a bit funny, the great thing about kids is that they don’t care, they love you anayway.
I have tried to make everything as normal as possible for them, but of course at times things will be different, someone else looking after them, or mummy grumpy from meds, but I took heart from the fact that as my two are so young they won’t remember this period anyway.
There is a book you can get from BCC called Mummy’s Lump which you can read with the kids, but I thought it was a little too old for my two, so for chemo we just told them mummy had some bad cells and had to have special medicine to make her better, for surgery I was only in one night so I think they thought I was staying with a friend, they never really asked where I was apparently (too excited to have a night with grandma spoiling them), charming! :wink:
One really great thing about having little ones through this has actually been that they keep me so busy that I don’t have too much time to dwell on all the uncertainties and the what ifs (although of course you do at the start), and nothing can make you smile like the kids either, even when you are feeling poorly they will always cheer you up - eg. after surgery when I explained to my 5 yr old that he couldn’t climb on me for a bit as I had some cuts on my chest taht were sore, he asked if I had fallen over after two much wine!! :wink:

Take care, and hope everything goes well. Feel free to contact me any time.
Christine x

Hi Tarra,

Just to let you know that it isn’t just younger mums who worry about telling their children. Mine are aged between 30 and 42, and I didn’t say anything about my cancer until I was absolutely sure about my diagnosis. My worry is that three of mine are girls, and I didn’t want to scare them into thinking they might get breast cancer too. One of them isn’t too bothered, her attitude is “If I get it, I get it and I’ll have to deal with it just as you are mum.” her older sister is looking into every aspect of the disease, taking me to chemo, visiting cancer websites. she even took me to our local Maggie’s centre and was very impressed. Don’t know what the eldest one thinks or feels, she lives a long way away and we don’t talk much. The boys (well, men now) keep their thoughts to themselves, although the older one admitted to feeling a bit embarassed about talking to me about it. Probably because it is BREAST cancer. His wife actually had a scare right after my surgery, but thankfully it was just a cyst. PHEW!!

Very good luck for your future treatment, and I hope your children are ok.
Love Poemsgalore xxx