Hi, I was diagnosed on wed 3rd July with stage 1/2 e rec cancer ( not very good with terms yet) my lump was under my nipple, had my operation last Tuesday 16th July, lost my nipple in operation and had reconstruction, lost 2 lymph nodes as well! I get my results this Friday 26th, I am terrified and every time I have to go to hospital don’t no how I get there, I just want to run away from it all! Panic attacks, cant breath, dizzy, frightened. It’s going to be a very long week! Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope in between appointments? and what I can expect on Friday? Xxx
Hi
I think you must mean grade 1/2, the stage is an entirely different thing. If the grade remains one of those, that isn’t too bad. although I realise you don’t see it that way. Have you tried deep breathing? It can calm down panic attacks. Reading some of the uplifting posts on here also helps.
DO NOT GOOGLE!!! Just stick to this website and the Macmillan, although you have probably been told that before.
Sending you big hugs and best wishes for Friday, I hope all goes well with your results.
Poemsgalore xx
HI, I try to push all appts to the back of my mind until I am actually there, its hard but it makes it easier to cope if you can manage it. I am sat at work at the moment dreading tomorrow as I start my chemo, waiting for results is a nightmare as its the fear of the unknown like treatment and everything else. Explain at the hospital how scared you are as they understand and will be very gentle with you, love and hugs Julie xx
hi julie
you just need to distract yourself as much as you can, phone your friends, chat to family, anything that will take your mind off it for a while. dont go to bed until you are tired enough to sleep, then you wont lay imagining all sorts of things.
its difficult waiting fo results but you have to actively seek out different ways to occupy your thoughts.
theres all of us on here too, we are happy to chat and listen.
hope this gives you something to work with, if you dont want to be public you can PM me if it helps.
ANYTHING you want to ask, we can help, dont worry if you think its something silly, we’ve all done it.
when you go on friday they will explain what they have found and how they are going to help you to recover properly. its not scary once you get in there.
hugs
angie xx
that post wasnt for julie - ive got a spot of chemo brain i reckon -
its to 45 the green room - soz
angie xx
Hi poemsgalore and juliemb, thanks for your responses. yes I did mean grade 1/2, that is biopsy results. i have tried deep breathing it just all spirals out of control the nearer I get to the hospital? But i will keep trying. I guess it’s the shock and fear of what they will do next? Fear of the unknown? I will try to push the appointment to the back of my mind! i will give anything a go. I have avoided google, have a wonderfull daughter and sister who do all the reading. I was just going over the same line about 10 times, if I ask a question, they only tell me what I need to no. I will keep reading the posts, I was on here at 4 this am setting it all up and have spent the day reading more of the posts and it is helping, it has eased since then, middle of the night was really bad last night. More positive today, thankyou for the advice and juliemb good luck tomorrow! Will be thinking of you, love Sarah X
Hi. Take each day as it comes. Once you’ve got results things will be clearer and you’ll have a plan. I also found in the early days Bach Rescue Remedy drops helped to have a calming effect and made things a lot easier. Good luck Friday xx
Waiting for the results was torture for me. It was far worse then having surgery because it was messing with my mind. In my case I knew the grade was 3, growing aggressively. In the time between WLE & SNB and test results, I had got it in my head that my BC would be out of control etc etc. I broke down in tears with relief when I got my results and there was no nodes involved. I still need to have a re-excision to make the clear margins larger on one side.
While you are recovering from your operation and waiting test results, you need to give yourself little treats. Sometimes I would go to a nice coffee shop with my daughter or a friend. I didn’t feel like talking about the dreaded BC and told them so, we talked about anything else though. I even walked the race for life one evening with some friends, one of whom had BC treatment in 2012. I felt walking helped me sleep better at night. I know everyone deals with their fears differently. I also bought Kalms tablets and took one if I ever felt the panic rising or getting out of control. They are also good at bed time or if you wake during the night. Tell your BC nurse how fearful you are on Friday, your nurse will tell you if the results show clear margins and if there are any nodes involved. She will give you an indication of what treatments will be involved or if more surgery maybe needed. a lot of people feel more in control once they have their results because its better then waking at 4am with the " What ifs" going through your head. Take care and best wishes for Friday.
Kathyx
Hi there the journey and waiting is always challenging. After information overload initially this is now the only site I frequent and it is a wealth of support and information. I find that writing questions down as I think of them useful for visits and having someone one wih you means you can actually remember what was the answers ! Between I find talking to a few close friends about other interests and whilst I enjoy reading short stories and magazines are about as much as I can currently absorb but takes my mind off things. Candy crush on my iPad has become a love hate relationship but whilst waiting between appointments (on silent !) and when I cannot sleep relieves anxiety !!! I wish u well x x
Angle, Melrose, Kathryn and kimvon, I just wanted to thankyou for all your advice and kind words. I have already started trying to use some of your ideas! I think just talking is helping, not family or close friends as I just feel like I am burdening them with more. I am already addicted to candy crush, so that comment was perfect and made me laugh, perhaps I could go on Friday and let hubby go in for results while I sit in waiting room playing on candy crush, lol! Maybe not! I find it incredible that we can all go through this and have all these worries, extreme anxieties, thoughts, tears, what ifs, whys and all stay sane? I had a card from my aunty the other day saying that this experience will make me a much stronger person when it’s all over! Well, it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. I had my first decent nights sleep last night in 3 weeks and I would like to think that all your advice has something to do with it! I would love to write questions down for Friday but can’t think what I should or need to ask, any ideas? I have a rough idea of treatment but until Friday results I can’t be sure. Probably hormone treatment and radiotherapy. What are hormone treatments like? Have really struggled with losing my nipple as lump was adhered to it, has any one else any ideas on the sence of loss? I think the fact that it has all happened in just 20 days? To think I had a normal life just 21days ago, it’s a massive impact. I hope juliemb is ok today after her chemo. This is a wonderfull site and really enjoy chatting with you all, THANKYOU! Love and hugs back to you all, Sarah Xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi 45 thegreenroom. Once you know exactly what you are dealing with you will feel more in control. If you have questions now write them down to ask when you are there. My treatment centre had a brilliant information centre which I got a lot of McMillan cancer care information booklets which were helpful. Also I was offered six alternative treatments such as reflexology, massage, reiki , etc too choose from. I had a couple of reflexology sessions and three facials at no cost to me and they all helped me to cope and relax. Use the breast care nurse you have had allocated and phone her if you are feeling panicky, or phone the nurses on this website.
Having cancer is scary but there is so much help and support out there you are not alone as the ladies on this forum have already said. Let us know how it goes . Best wishes Katy.
Hi Katy, just wanted to let you no that I am booked into The Haven (BC centre) tomorrow for some reflexology, rekei, counselling and nutrition advice, (pre -results Friday) all free! So I hope that might give me a bit of strength so I can take in what they are saying, Friday! THANKYOU for your advice, took it on board and did something about it! Do you or does anyone else have any ideas on how to go out shopping and facing people? I live in a small town and people are just starting to hear and i just don’t feel like I can face them all. constant tears and shock was enough, can’t cope with people’s reactions, even nice ones because I didn’t want this crappy cancer in the 1st place so sympathy and people’s stories about how they new someone 10 years ago who had it and they are fine, doesn’t make me feel any better, I couldn’t care less to be honest! It’s me in the NOW that has it! Rant over, sorry. I know, that was mean, they are only trying to help! But really I wish they wouldn’t bother. I feel better now. Really looking forward to some NICE treatments tomorrow. Love and hugs to you all, Sarah X
hi Sarah you could be writing this post for me the tears and frustration the horrible cliches that i just dont want to hear. People trying it be kind but have no idea what turmoil is going on inside. No I hate this crappy cancer i was quite happy with my sometimes boring life its like being hit with a truck Hate appointments, surgery, waiting for results panicking its all you know what . but i am so glad i found this forum the ladies on here have really helped whatever you are feeling or worried about re- results etc someone on here has been there done it and can reassure us . i too have onc appt fri be thinking of you keep us updated love Gill
Hi Sarah I found the Haven invaluable when I was first diagnosed and still do 4 months down the line. They got me through diagnosis ,surgery and radiotherapy ,finish it tomorrow ,hurrah. Which Haven are you going to .I am in Hereford ,we are SO lucky to have one of only three in the country , normaly Hereford is way behind the rest of the country! Be kind to youself ,take whats on offer ,it really helps. Good luck for tommorrow. Judith
All the very best for tomorrow Sarah x I live in a small community and whilst people mean well is hard when sometimes you feel at war with yourself. Tried to keep it quiet but … Have had a bit of a traumatic day with my wound breaking down but hey the pearl of wisdom from someone … Their neighbours dog had cancer 5 years ago and is still alive … ??? Sigh x hugz to all x
Hi Sarah, your aunt has a point. Before I had Bc I was very un assertive at times and I worried about my work a lot. After going through lumpectomy, radiotherapy, chemo and herceptin I felt able to cope with anything, it put things into perspective for me and I stopped worrying as much about things , so at least something positive came out of having this horrible ddisease good luck x
Hi Gill, Judith and Kimvon, I have had a lovely day at The Haven, Hereford Judith. All of the above and was there all day! Even my mum had counselling, the most amazing, positive and safe place to be. Got home had a bit of a blip, don’t know where that one came from? So went with my husband up Hay Bluff (mountain) only walked a small distance to a special rock that I like to sit on and take in the view. Sat there night before op and it helped then so was determined to do again tonight but carefull as 9 days post op. Feel ready and strong for tomorrow, it really is healing up there, that mixed with reiki has worked a treat! Bring on tomorrow, i CAN deal with this, don’t no if I will feel that way in the morning but it feels good now. Gill, good luck tomorrow with your onc app, and please let me no how you get on, it did me good to have a rant last night and spoke to my counsellor about it all today! Do you have one? Really helpfully. Judith, Hereford Haven it is and we are incredibly lucky to have those lovely people to be with whenever we need them! I can’t say how much today has helped and feel some fundraising coming on when I feel well again. Check out their Facebook page? Its not the Hereford page, but a page that has all three havens on it. I haven’t found it yet tonight but something wonderfull happened to me last week and is still happening! They are going to put a link and share with all the BC members, I think Lesley will be dealing with it tomorrow and hopefully all the kindness that happened on the day of my op can raise some money for Hereford Haven. Sooooooo exciting. Put it this way, a little taster, we all have to wear HAPPY/LUCKY PANTS! Will let you no when I no more? I hope it will cheer everybody up! Perhaps we could meet for some Bad food in that little cafe in the arcade next to the Haven? Let me no if you fancy it! We could cry together? Or laugh, that would be nice. I am there next Thursday for app at 1.30? And Kimvon, appalled is the word right now! But not shocked, I bet that made you feel fantastic! Keeping things quiet in a small community is impossible but on the positive side I went to Hereford today about 20 miles away and didn’t no anybody and had a great look around with no hassle, felt almost normal for 5 mins! Hope your feeling a bit better tonight? Let me no how you are tomoz. Will let you all no how I have got on with results tomoz night. Take care, wishing everyone sweet dreams, Sarah xxxxxxxxxx
Phew, that was a big post! Must be the Rekie, lol X
You sound like great fun lol Hope it goes well for you. I was diagnosed in 2010, had mastectomy and 10 lymph nodes removed 5 were cancerous. I am a psychiatric nurse but have still not absorbed what type of breast cancer I have/had ?? I got all the info as I am an info kind of girl…but now not sure if I want to ‘know it all’. I was told to have ABCD and I should be ok so I had the mastectomy, had chemo, had radio then reconstruction. Unfortunately I had lung cancer also so had that tumor removed b4 me chemo. I know folk who have worked all the way through but I could not have, I am now in full time employment and have to take 5 years tamoxifen…2 more to go…I think. I completed a moving forward programme with breast cancer care which I found extremely helpful having ‘therapies’ and anything I could !! We all have our own way of dealing with it…I a bit of a joker too and I do not think it a big deal until I A) write about it then I think ffs that is bad or B) when I see how bad some cope with it…This is one of lifes awful journies which I deal with like the rest !! I try to eat healthily, exercise etc but I sit here with Lager doing none of that really and I moved from where I lived…partly cause of gettign a job but it were cheaper and all sorts of reasons. I regret nothing and take each day as it comes cheers 
THANKYOU powerjen, loving the name, appropriate I think. I am really glad that you feel positive now! And something good has come out of this nasty experience for you. To be honest I am not at all surprised that you feel that way after everything that you have been through and come out the other side? I think we should have a Toast, " to the new stronger you!" Cheers … Take care my lovely and will post again with my results tomoz night, good or bad! Sarah Xxx