Hi, I have been diagnosed with grade 2 IDC ER+ PR+ HER2- breast cancer in a lump i found in june but didnt get checked until the end of september rightly or wrongly because i had a lump checked many years ago that was nothing so i thought this would be the same. Anyway this has been confirmed as cancer and i thought i was getting my treatment plan on the 7th Nov but the consultants said i had another lump/mass that needed to be biopsied a biopsy on the lymph node and a ct scan. I just feel like i am right back at the beginning not having a clue whats going on or what im dealing with. Im scared of what the results will be and im thinking worst case scenario. I just cant cope with knowing i have cancer but treatment isnt starting because of the other lump that we dont know what it is. The waiting for tests and results is torture and trying to carry on as normal because i haven’t told my daughter yet and im working. Has anyone been in a similar situation with being diagnosed but still needing these further tests? Im hoping you might have some positive news for me. Fingers 
sorry for the long post and info dump hopefully your still with me. Thanks x
Hi hell0me
Sorry you have to be here, but welcome.
Yes, I had similar. I had surgery scheduled and thought it would all be done and dusted within a couple of weeks then MRI identified something else so it was postponed while further tests were done. Then it was cancelled a second time as there was some disagreement about the result and a second opinion was sought. I really empathise with where you are now as all the waiting was awful. You’re right, it is torture.
Although it is tough, and easy to say with hindsight, it does mean your team are being thorough and making sure you get the right treatment plan for you. x
Thank you for replying. Im sorry youve experienced it too. I wouldnt wish it on anyone.This is what they keep telling me, they are getting all the information now to get the treatment right and to minimise surgery. I do appreciate that but its hard waiting and like i say, im scared they are going to tell me its spread and its not treatable. I am not being very positive im afraid or coping well at all x
It’s horrible waiting for diagnosis it’s horrible waiting for treatment and it’s horrible when a plan changes or something doesn’t go as you expect it to . @southwest123 is correct - unfortunately you just have to go with it wait for the investigations so that your team can come up with the correct plan for you .
Please don’t blame yourself either for not seeking help in June - you are not the only one who has come on here and said this and although we all worry about delays in diagnosis and treatment they’re unlikely to make a difference over this time frame.
You are still working , give yourself a pat on the back for the that - and breathe . Try to take a day at a time and keep busy . I understand you worrying about talking to your daughter - you don’t say how old she is or you are for that matter and I don’t have kids myself so I can’t offer any advice with that but maybe someone will come along who can . In the meantime is there a really good friend that you trust not to tell everyone and who will just listen and be there for you ? If so then call them . You could also talk it through with the Nurses on the helpline on 0808 800 6000 tomorrow 9am - 1pm or from 8am Monday - and although nobody ever wants to join this club you’re one of us now and we will be here for you .
Sending love xx
I do have really good support but im still struggling to get through each day. I want to know all the facts and what treatmemt will be before i tell my daughter. Shes 8 and Im 41. I hope ive got good news for her x
The waiting is the worst the not knowing and not being in control or able to plan gets to everybody believe me - and you are doing as well as can be expected . I wasn’t able to work at your stage. Try to do something nice with your daughter this weekend as there are unlikely to be any further developments until Monday at the earliest and making good memories when you can helps you get through the times when you are really struggling - for me evenings were the hardest but for most people it seems to be night time. If there is sunshine where you are try to get out in it even though it’s likely to be cold. I’m a hippy dippy type and found that nature wild swimming and Yoga helped me but I also cut my caffeine intake right down as I felt extra anxious after drinking coffee. I think it’s sensible waiting to find out what you’re dealing with with before you talk to your daughter . Breast cancer is a very common disease there’s a lot of money gone into research which has led to improvements in treatments and survival rates . We have all heard or experienced horror stories about cancer but cancer survivors are in our midst all the time - they just don’t tend to talk about it . Stay off Google - it isn’t your friend right now a lot of the information is out of date and lacks perspective . Don’t delve too deeply into the resources on here either until you know your plan . Often our imaginations go to places that are worse than the reality so whatever you like to do that gets you out of your head will help. Xx
Thanks for the advice. My imagination is definately takinng me to dark places. I find weekends are really hard, too much time to stop and think. Thank god for my daughter keeping me busy, i would be in a much worse state without her. Its really tough isnt it.
Thank you for your time and i hope your doing well x
@hell0me welcome to the friendliest and most supportive group. Trust me we’ve all been in that awful place of not knowing and it is the worst part of this “journey” (for want of a better word). Nighttime is the worst and your brain goes to all of those dark “what if” places. So how do you get through it - we’ve all used lots of different techniques, like Joanne I’m a fan of yoga, I’m also on my third journal - #1 diagnosis to ringing that bell #2 going through the after BC stage #3 and now as they are investigating another possible cancer. My journals have been so helpful, get all those dark thoughts and worries out of your head and onto paper then turn the page over. Come on here and scream, shout, cry, moan, laugh - we’ve all done it and we all understand. Be kind to yourself, don’t be afraid to say no if friends or family ask you to do something you don’t want to do. I promise you it will get easier, once you get your treatment plan just work through one part at a time. This is totally doable, you can do it and remember we’ve all got your back, we are all holding your hand and we all understand. Sending you a big hug and lots of love
Hi @hell0me
Welcome to the forum and as has already been said, it’s so supportive.
I found a lump in April 2023, had mammogram then called back 3 weeks later for ultrasound and biopsy. They found a grade 2 20/25mm invasive tumour, 2 sizes as the mammogram and ultrasound differed so sent for an MRI which found something in my other breast. More waiting, then back for another ultrasound and biopsy and another 2 week wait to be told I had a 0.9mm invasive tumour in the other breast. So I was bilateral primary breast cancer which is only 5% of all breast cancers.
From first diagnosis to MRI, I’d met the oncologist as the first tumour had come back as HER2+ and I needed chemotherapy and Herceptin. They thought I would have that first then surgery but once the sizing has been confirmed it was decided I’d have surgery first then chemo and Herceptin.
It’s not unusual to have multiple tests, I didn’t have the oncotype because I was HER2+. The waiting is horrible and the worst part of this journey you are on. Once all the test have come back and your multi disciplinary team have reviewed it and decided on the best treatment plan for you, you will feel better.
I know it’s hard now, but I was told many times, even with aggressive HER2, the cancer doesn’t grow as fast as we think.
Don’t worry about dumping on us or writing too much, that’s was the forum is here for.
Keep us updated.
