Hi all i’m 4 days into my DCIS diagnosis and not coping on the inside however on the outside it may seem i’m doing ok! Over week end my mum has had to unleash the bombshell that my aunt has had lung cancer diagnosed this week also but is palatitive care only. my poor mum has been guarding my diagnoisis from her sister and visa versa. I am 35 with 2 kids 3 and 7 and have told them this wk end about my lumpy boob and I used the C word. I researched hard prior to telling them and v glad I have done it now so we have no secrets in our home. But i feel so shite, really struggling to cry can’t go to work tom as i deal with paed pt’s (inc oncology)and can’t cope with my emotions yet and sat here now having had vino and worrying i’m making everything worse, havn’t even told work i’m not coming tom grrrr! Cooked lovely roast chicken and fruity cous cous but can’t swallow any of it however the chardonnay can go down… xxxxx
ooops sorry for spelling but in my defence do have 2 dodgy letter keys and space bar!
Hi Sandy (?)
just wanted to say hello - I have spent many nights with wine and the pc, going quietly spare - its so hard for you to be dealing not just with your own diagnosis but your aunt, and (I’m sure) supporting your mum while her sister is so ill and her child (you)being ill so young. Sometimes life is just bloody unfair.
I really believe you have done a good thing in telling your children and calling it cancer. My kids were older - 11 and 9 when I was first dx and were an incredible support - their perspective was fantastic. My daughter who was 9 told everyone at school, kids, teachers, everyone she met and my son who was 11 just told his friends and teacher, but they were both matter of fact about it and all the issues that come from diagnosis - operations etc. If they saw me upset they just put it down to me having cancer (even when it was PMT etc)and sort of patted me on the back! They are 23 and 25 now and cancer has been part of their lives for so long they aren’t really afraid, although they know the implications.
If you feel shite, can you go on sick leave? are you in a job where thats paid and being on the sick is feasible? If it is, take advantage of that and work to suit yourself. I must say that I worked in the local authority and didn’t work from my diagnosis til I was finished treatment, wanted to focus on my family and keeping my head together.
As for drinking making things worse, don’t stress yourself with that at this point - its OK to do what you need to do until you feel better and then you can decide on things like that. I’m so sorry you’re feeling horrid tonight, I hope tomorrow brings a happier frame of mind, but remember, you are not alone xxxx monica
oh gosh! join the club, not just the larger club of people who are waiting to be diagnosed or have been diagnosed, but also the sub club of people who have not changed their life style since the news and are finding that the evenings are more pleasant if they carry on as normal whilst trying to cope with this bombshell. For me carrying on as normal is enjoying a few glasses or more of good wine.
Do not know what you decided about work, but if you drank a bit more and a bit later last night than normal you might want to consider wether you are legally fit to drive this morning–dont want a driving ban on top of it all.
Can you email in sick?? Could you go in, tell just one person, and then if you are upset come home. You might surprise yourself, I am sometimes a bit of a wreck in some ways when i am by myself late at night, but then in front of people just disappear into a bubble and carry on. Having a time of the day when to all around me I do not have cancer and I am just the same as everyone else is surreal, but good. And I like to be busy.
Mind you everybodies reaction is completely different, and how you cope with this yourself is the right way to cope with it.
I realy feel for you at this stage of the journey, and everyone else on here will be coming along to offer support. Do use this forum to ask questions, or vent or just somewhere to chat when it starts to get on top of you. There are some great threads. I particularly like the one about them suggesting that wearing yellow wellies on a wednesday is a cause of breast cancer
big cyber hugs etc
Sandy, I think I did more than my fair share of clearing the wine lake in the month of diagnosis. I bumped into my doctor on Christmas eve and confessed. Her response? “Given what you’re going through at the moment, drink up!”
It settled down once I had managed to get my head round it and once they worked out what my treatment plan was going to be, but it was a prop that I needed to make use of at the time. Don’t fret about it, just do what you have to do.
For your kids you might find the book Mummy’s Lump useful, as it’s aimed at that kind of age. I’m with you on the “no secrets” thing, kids can be so perceptive and they can get very frightened if they think there’s something dreadful happening that they don’t know about. Encourage them to ask questions, you could well be surprised at what they come out with. (My 12-yr-old asked an absolute corker while I was trying to negotiate a busy roundabout - I asked her if she could pick her moments a bit better next time!)
Do you know what your treatment plan is yet? DCIS can result in a wide range of plans, and we’re all different in how we’re dealt with. Once you know that I predict you’ll feel a whole lot better.
Give the helpline a ring, they’re brill.
Got to dash, school run etc. But keep posting, this forum has been a total lifesaver for me, there are so many supportive people.
Hi Sandy,
I know how you feel and I went down the drown it with wine route too! Sometimes you’ve just got to get through however you can, and it’s such a shock to find out you’ve got bc that it’s hard to be controlled about anything. You will get through it all, and it does get mostly easier once things are being dealt with.
I think you’ve done the right thing in telling your kids, they’ll know there’s something going on and in my view it’s less frightening for them that they know what it is, and that it’s being treated.
Sorry about your Aunt, that’s awful. I went through a similar thing as I was dx while my Mum was just starting chemo for a recurrence of bc, shortly after losing my best friend and one of my dogs. Things just seem to pile up and you think you’ll drown. My wine and I got through it though, and here I am 7 months later doing ok and not drinking too much!
Wishing you lots of luck and lots of love, let us know how you get on
xx
Hi Sandy
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.
I’ve given here the link to our Resource Pack for those people newly diagnosed. The pack is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.
breastcancercare.org.uk/heal … tionId/82/
As well as the help you are receiving from the other users if you would like to talk things through do give the helpline a ring for further further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 Saturday.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
hi sandy am still drinking the wine everynite as am newly diagnosis, dont no were to turn i have breast cancer but it is also in my lyth nodes, so just waiting to have my full body scan ct scan to see were else it spread am so so scared.
You poor Sweetie, I’m so sorry that you have this garbage to deal with, a terrible worrying time for you. I am sending you a very good thought - it often works!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer v.recently, lumpectomy on 12th Aug, with more tests on lymph nodes, radiotherapy (if I’m lucky!!) then meds. This will sound ridiculous but one of my rescue dogs is v.poorly (pos.cancer) so I’ve been distracted. In fact,up to last night I felt ok, more scared of general anesthetic, then a large lump in right armpit appeared last night. I’ve posted if this could this just be a gland thing.
I too am on the wine and, ashamed to admit,back on a few fags in the evening.
Let us know how you get on. I hope so much you will be okish.
Hugs.
Sheila