Hi ladies
ive been recommended this group by another lady.
i saw my oncologist for the first time today. I’ve had several scans and biopsies but when it came to it today I didn’t want to know the exact form of breast cancer I have got.
the oncologist is amazing but she kept saying it was nasty (oooo). It’s in my breast and 4 lymph nodes, 2 under my arm and 2 in my neck.
im now wondering if I should have just bitten the bullet and found out but her wording put me off slightly.
I did see on the screen one part which said HER2- but have no idea what that means and haven’t googled it.
i actually work on an oncology ward at an acute hospital so have always seen worst case which has sent me into a bit of an anxiety freak.
I start chemo on Thursday and then will have surgery and radiotherapy.
not sure that I’m asking anything in particular just somewhere to put this down.
oh I’m 39 with a husband and 3 boys.
this **bleep** is scary
Hi ,welcome to the forum .We all understand how ****** scary It is .Not helped by your Oncologist using the words " nasty " really is it - you want calm re-assuring ," we can deal with this " . I was diagnosed 5 years ago and in that time Breast cancer treatments have developed so significantly I can’t even keep up .For the vast majority of people treatment is successful - even with " nasty " cancers .You should have been allocated a breast care nurse - maybe ring on Monday and ask some basic questions - size of cancer ,type of cancer ,most likely treatment for this and come and talk to us here - don’t google .I made some really good friends on this forum 5 years ago - all still with us now and well at least one had lymphnodes in neck that got a good zap with radiotherapy .Always someone on here to talk to who understands .Jill x
We’re all different. Some of us want to know absolutely everything about our cancer from the very outset. Others prefer to be dripfed more gently as the treatment progresses, on a ‘need to know’ basis. Then there are those who prefer to put themselves completely into the hands of their care team, get their heads down and quietly get on with it without ever needing to know the finer details. We are all unique individuals and we all have individual ways of coping. Whatever path we choose is a legitimate and acceptable one. You may find that you need time to process and get your head around the information you have been given before formulating questions and seeking further clarity. I suspect that your professional oncology experience and knowledge will prove a mixed blessing.
Be comfortable about doing things at your own pace and take all the time you need to absorb the enormity of what can only be seen as a rotten situation. Believe it or not, things do get easier once you have a treatment plan and a clear way forward.
Good luck and take care.
Hi Shakey
At last, a fellow ostrich. Like you, I just didn’t want to know the details of my diagnosis. The language of oncology can be alarming and basically there’s nothing we can do to change the situation so why not just trust your team and focus on getting through the treatment? I suffer from severe anxiety and, once I’d made sure they would take this into account, I just went with the flow and did as I was advised. If it helps, I had 2 tumours removed, one with low margins, and 19 of my 21 lymph nodes were infected, proving they do a fine job as I am still cancer-free.
I did ask my breast care nurse to go through it all with me after I’d finished treatment but I realised it didn’t really mean anything to me except to explain why I needed various adjuvant treatments. 2 years on, I still couldn’t tell you. However, there are other people who can reel it all off and it’s important to them to feel they are in control of their treatments. We all deal with things differently.
The information is there for you any time you want it. You will receive a copy of every letter sent to your GP and the details will be listed - but you don’t have to study them unless you choose to. I chose not to. You will know when you feel strong enough for that. Meantime, you know you have a ‘nasty’ form of breast cancer and your world has turned upside down. You may need, like I did, to focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing for now and leave the details to the experts- till you’re ready. Just PLEASE, when you have a sleepless night, do NOT turn to Google for answers. Ring the nurses here, email your breast care nurse, anything but Google - it generalises and can be terrifying because it’s all out of context.
I wish you all the best for what lies ahead. It’s not easy but, in most cases, it works. Don’t think about your work - we are all different. And don’t feel bad for not wanting to know. It makes complete sense to me!!
Jan xx