My partner felt a lump. While originally scheduled for April 2025, she had a “bad feeling” – got her Mammo moved to December 2024, then a core biopsy on Christmas Eve.
We were prepared for the phone call, which happen today. According to her pathology, she has grade 3 DCIS and either grade 2 or 3 IDC (grandual differentiation score 3, nuclear plemorphism score 3, mitosis score 1). I’m starting to learn a little bit about what this stuff means. Additionally, tumor necrosis: present, skin involvement "there are fragments of unremarkable skin; lymph vascular: indeterminate; dermal lymph: none identified. This is all the information we have so far.
We are meeting with the surgeon on Friday. Thankfully we live in place with nationalized health care. What questions should we ask? I know that everybody’s experience is different.
Currently in the dark place. We have a 5 year-old, her mom means more than the world to her.
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Hi @ponder4571 Welcome to the forum and so sorry to hear of your partner’s diagnosis.
Once you have your meeting this week you will have more idea of the treatment plan. Take a note book and pen to jot down things that are said and any questions you have.
I’m assuming you aren’t in the UK as you say ‘a country with a nationalised health service’, treatments can differ between trusts within the UK so can only assume other countries may do things differently as well.
There are many books out there to support children with family cancer diagnosis, this is a good website for age appropriate books. Many can be obtained online. There are many more books if you Google.
I worked in primary education for many years and have support numerous children 5-11 years of age with family illness and passing. It’s good to get their school or nursery involved so if the child is upset they know why. I personally would be as honest as you can be to a 5 year old but I know some would try to protect their child from the news. It does depend on lost of things and some things on this journey can’t be hidden, so it’s probably best to be honest.
Thinking of you and your family 
Hello @naughty_boob, thanks so much for your message. I bought a notebook today, and together the two of us are developing a list of questions to ask the surgeon.
The little one’s grandmother passed away last year from Glioblastoma. Unfortunately at 5 years-old, she already has some emotional experiences l in dealing with stuff like this. We never thought about informing her school. We will figure out the best way to move forward following the meeting. Thanks for the link as well. It will be put to good use.
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