New forum user in need of some cyber hugs

Dear all,

I’m a newby to the forum, so please bear with me.  I found a lump in my right breast about ten weeks ago, I went to the gp and am now five weeks post op, lumpectomy and axillary clearance.  It looked like I had stage three invasive cancer with four out of the seventeen lymph nodes removed positive, and all was looking positive, but I had a bone scan and ct to check all was clear just in case.  The bone scan came back clear which was great news, but I saw the oncologist yesterday and I have secondaries in my liver. It’s very early days and my blood tests have come back fine, but now as you all know I have moved on to that dreaded next stage. i also have lymph node enlargement above my collarbone on my right side. I am so devastated and my husband and I are completely heart broken. At the moment life feels hopeless and I could really do with a group hug, from my fellow sufferers. I start my chemo on 5th October, I was due for FEC-T, but I’m now having just the FEC.  The hospital has been marvellous and the Macmillan nurse called me this morning and is lovely, but I feel so sad, I love my husband and can’t bear to think of being parted from him, and we are distraught.  I don’t know what you can do to help me, but I just know you can, sorry for the length of the email, any help, support, cyber hugs will be incredibly gratefully received Di xx

Hello Di


Fiirstly, here’s a big cyber hug from me ((((())))) I’m so sorry you’ve had to join in the mets threads. You’re very early into it all so it’s bound to feel devastating and very raw. I remember how I felt, although mine is classed as a recurrence (I have skin mets and spread to more nodes) it’s incurable and pretty aggressive. In time the feelings will lessen and once you get started on treatment you have something more positive to focus on.


I’ve seen many positive stories on the Forum but one I can tell you when I started treatment for mets. There was a lady came to the oncology unit because her husband was starting treatment. She’d been diagnosed with bowel cancer, went through treatment and then found out it had spread to her liver. They surgically removed the tumour and she had chemotherapy. She’s now in her mi 80s and fit and well.


There’s various treatments now that weren’t available to her back then, so I hope you can take heart that from that. Check out the inspiring stories thread.


Best wishes.


Hello Di, so sorry you have to join us. It’s hard living with the uncertainty this diagnosis brings, be kind and gentle to yourself. Do keep in touch, you will find much support here. Take care.

I’m sat here reading your replies with my husband, and we are both finding it very comforting, going on the live each day theme, we are heading down to Devon on Mon, staying in a nice (hopefully!) hotel, for a couple of nights spoiling ourselves, and we have decided that as suggested when we have our good time we’ll, do something nice together, even if it is a walk on the beach followed by a slap up meal with our two dogs, feeling better tonight , thanks for being there for us xx


Di and Julie, sorry yo have had to join s here bt you are very welcome. I cant really add  anything to what everyone else has already said but it is really jst a matter of taking each day as it comes…not the best way to live your life bt when thats threatened you do anything to carry on. Be gentle on yourself, rest plenty and hopefully you will feel a little better when you start yor treatment. x