Good afternoon all.
This is my first time posting. Was diagnosed 7th may with cancer in left breast(only went to get all clear to start HRT nothing could be felt), had my mastectomy 7th June and on 7th July was told they got all the cancer and I won’t need further treatment just tamoxifen. It’s all been a whirlwind and way too much information. I know I am blessed to have had such quick treatment and don’t need further treatment……,however I am filled with guilt. Why did I deserve such quick treatment when everyone does?(I’ve also had covid three times after working in a care home and they sacked me as now disabled with long covid and was the victim of domestic abuse for 6 years at the hands of a class A drug addict who I didn’t realise it was nothing but lies,I am still dealing with the aftermath).
So Friday I went to see my amazing breast nurse to check my scar and when she said the words “Jenny we have removed your breast” it was like a switch. I broke. The tears haven’t stopped since. She rushed me to a&e to see the mental health team and been under the daily crisis team since(I’ve suffered with my mental health a long time and was last in crisis at Christmas).
I don’t have family and friends(my ex made sure of that) and have tried to keep it all in and not accept what’s happened. But it’s all caught up with a bang.
The tamoxifen I am struggling with-the sweats are constant and I have to just ride them out.
Gene testing has been done as my mum and all three of her sisters had breast cancer-but I am clear of the genes. I put it down to 100% the stress and abuse I have been through.
I feel like I don’t belong on a group like this because I’ve been very lucky(and as my brothers said the cancer is gone so I’m fixed) and I feel guilty taking up your time when I have not had to go through chemo or radiation.
But-I’ve been through breast cancer. And I now realise this is not something that will just go away overnight and I didn’t know where to turn.
I thank you for your time if you have read and any advice much appreciated
X
Oh baby. Of course you’re not allright. And if it’s any consolation most people are like you. They don’t need chemo or radiation. Hell even those of us who need chemo usually can get by with just four sessions. Breast cancer treatment, at least the hormone positive kind, is not nearly as extensive as other treatments for cancer. It doesn’t make us lucky though. Cancer sucks. It changes your life, you have to live with the ramifications for the rest of your life, and everything is blown up around you. So yeah it’s not surprising that you now need mental health care. Most of us do. We have to live with the fact that we were the unlucky one in eight or seven who got breast cancer. That’s no small feet to do. So don’t feel guilty for posting here, for crying, for needing to feel connection, and for not feeling strong. You are normal for what you’ve gone through and it’s okay to hold your hand out. We’re here. I’m so glad you’re getting help. It may be a long road to feeling okay but it can happen. You’ve started the process and now you’re one step closer.
Thank you so very much for your kind words and welcoming me here. X
Dear Jab1,
We are all here for you, you have been through so much, please don’t think because you didn’t have chemo or radio you got away lightly. Cancer what ever form is not a walk in the park, it’s time to be kind to yourself with lots of TLC.
Was wondering if your breast cancer nurse could put you in touch with any groups in your area, maybe Maggie, these group are kind and understanding with lovely people to chat with.
I do wish you well going forward, lots health and happiness, please make yourself queen bee you deserve it.
Biggest hugs Tili 
Hi. You have been through so much and it is really good that you are reaching out and connecting. Keep doing that if you’re feeling up to it as hopefully you will find others who want to listen, be there for you and understand.
I am very clear that I will not have anyone tell me “Well, it’s all gone now so it’s all finished.” Nope. I will take as long as I take to process all this. And I am taking all support I can and I am so grateful to be able to say there is a lot of support out there.
One day at a time and one step at a time. You will get there. And maybe there will come a day where something positive comes of all this. I can see certain things I intend to change and work through in my life since all this has happened. Things I didn’t notice before. BUT no pressure for all that right now, just be gentle with yourself and give yourself a hug right now. Sending love and best wishes xx
Hello there…I just want to say I am glad you found this forum and glad you are able to say about feeling guilty about not needing extra treatment etc. When I had my primary cancer and mastectomy 10 years ago I felt really guilty because I didn’t need any other treatment, as if I hadn’t really had breast cancer. I was very very anxious as the experience triggered all sorts of fears from the past. I was lucky because there was a psychologist attached to the centre where I was and I saw him for a long time. I came to terms with the fact that I really had experienced cancer even if I still had my hair. I kept saying but I’ve only had a mastectomy! As if that wasn’t enough. Get all the support you can from your GP, your Breast Care Nurse and seek out every kind of help you can. It is a huge shock to the system and you have been through a traumatic happening. Sending a big gentle hug x
Hi Jsb1
Firstly do you know how strong you already are! You’ve been through so much and you’re still fighting.
It doesn’t matter what surgery or treatment you’ve had, you belong here. We all have one thing in common- Breast cancer. It’s scary, all consuming- overwhelming!. Reach out, use every resource that’s presented to you, let them do the heavy lifting for now. Be kind to yourself help and support is there (&yes that includes the forums).
In the short time I’ve been posting (I’m a complete newbie) I have felt safe, given great advice and supported.
It will get better.
I wish you all the best, Big love 
- hug
Welcome to the community, this wonderful sisterhood/brotherhood
You can ask anything and lots will reply
Your life has been turned upside down for lots of reasons and the biggest step was agreeing to get help and support, fabulous dear girl
Keep asking, keep talking and yes reach out to Maggies, other breast cancer centres in your local area and I’m sure you’ll find a therapist or counsellor who will help
This site has something called Moving Forward, you might not be ready to try it but its there and its free
One day at a time, big hugs xx
Everyones journey is different.
But its a journey none the less.
I follow alot of ladies on social media documenting their stories as I was diagnosed last year at 24 so felt very alone in regards to finding someone the same age to relate too.
A cancer diagnosis is difficult to process on its own let alone the treatment that comes with that. No matter how big or small.
Your feelings are valid. Dont ever forget that.
And thats something I need to take on too as I myself am so hard on myself.
Thinking because im young I should bounce back and get on with it and I too feel like because I went back to work 8 months after diagnosis people think im fixed but honestly my mental health is all over the place aswell as side effects from the hormone treatment!
I highly recommend Macmillans 6 free therapy sessions. 6 sessions over 6 weeks the lady I had was superb! And I just felt listened too and validated so do look into these things and dont forget your breast nurses are there too you can always ring them and they may be able to offer you information on local support.
Keep that beautiful head up. And remember you are a warrior !
Wishing you all the best 
I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Dont feel guilty Sister, i am so pleased your cancer has been removed so quickly. I started on Tamoxifin I am stage 4 de nova, it gave me terrible hot flashes and my mood was all over the place. It might be good to talk to your oncologist about the Tamoxifin, they might look at something else or a lower dose. I also been through DV and when you have been isolated for so long its hard. You are not alone this site is great. I hope the mental health team can help you, maybe talking to a social worker through your cancer council too. I am from the uk, but i live in Australia. Be very proud of yourself too jsb1 you have fought a terrible battle and have won. Talking on here will help too. Sending big hugs over and let us us know how you are going 🩷🩷
Sorry to hear your story .
Some treatments are fast depending on the area you live ,and what is scheduled.
I was diagnosed on a Wednesday and operated on a Friday.
Had a mastectomy and lymph nodes removed.
Treatment is getting better over the years .
Look in your area for a cancer group you will be able to talk with others who have been through cancer .
Hopefully you could make some new friends.
You do belong on this group.
Just wanted to say a huge thank you for so many genuine caring comments. I put off using things like this as didn’t feel I had a place what with everything else I have going on and didn’t want to be a burden on anyone.
But I now realise this is the perfect place for me to be surrounded by so many in such similar situations. I’m just sorry I tried to handle this all alone since April.
Thank you
Jenny x
Sorry darling about what you go through, last year in March I have diagnosis with left breast cancer and I got multifocal not lump as well after my operation mastectomy without reconstruction one month they told me you are clear and you have have Hermon therapy Tamoxfen for 5 years without any chemo or radiotherapy, from that time as well I feel I am alone , I started with therapist from hospital and charities, the breast cancer now charity did as course named moving forward as 2 meeting and we meet each other then we did as what’s up group and now we meet together one time to two time in a week for chatting. If you are in Sheffield I can tell you where we meet.
Don’t worry Hun me too sometimes I feel myself up sometimes down its normal. As well I been working as care with lovely child but unfortunately I can’t working with this child because I feel same like this child so I changed my career to my previous job as teacher assistant.
We all here same and we are here to help each other please feel free to contact us when ever you want…I wish you all the best.
Sorry darling I forgot to tell you, after one month my back started hurting me I’ve been in many physio worker and MRI x-ray and they don’t know why my back is hurting I am crying I can’t sleep then after one year and 2 months, I ended up with pain management and I waiting for my results. I am chronic back pain because is more than 6 months.
Moreover, after one year of my operation the hospital told me as end of the treatment even I am with Tamoxfen for 5 years. In this time my lovely nurse she told me I have to start with anxiety tablets because she knows I don’t like it because for addicted. But I listen to her and I started to take anxiety tablet.
I wish you all the best Hun 
Hi jsb1
Sadly we are all in a cancer club that no one wants to be in ,
It’s a very surreal situation with so much to deal with on top of daily life, you will find a way to cope and move forward coz it’s what we do, you’ve dealt with lots already, stay strong hun and be kind to yourself and please keep talking it definitely helps
Take care XX 
Any feeling that you have is valid. Breast cancer on its own is hard to to deal with. You have had a lot more to deal with, experiences I cannot imagine, which must make dealing with breast cancer even harder. I feel very lucky, that I have dodged a huge bullet. I had stage one, slow growing lobular breast cancer in my right breast. It was diagnosed at 10.30am on 11th November last year, as a result of a routine mammogram I had no idea there was anything wrong. I had a lumpectomy in early January followed by the removal of my lymph nodes in March. No chemo (I did not feel guilty, just very, very thankful) and radiotherapy in July. Only five sessions, again I was very thankful. I had the support of an amazing husband and friends. I was so relieved for it to be ‘over’ after the end of the radiotherapy. (I am on Tamoxifen, I don’t find them too bad I have an issue with sleeping but that could be down to a number of things). But it’s not over. I can’t go back to the person I was. My nipple is kinda stretched. I feel I must make changes to my life to hopefully avoid having cancer again. I’m not paranoid but it’s very close. My cancer experience is now part of me. It’s a positive thing, I value life, friends and family and experiences in a way that I have never have before. I am having sessions with a lovely and supportive counsellor signposted by MacMillan (although I understand Breast Cancer Now also provide counselling) which are enormously helpful. I find I am constantly processing my cancer journey. It has a profound effect on everything I do. Cancer is way more than having surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, and taking tablets for a few years. It’s changed me, and I can’t go back. It affects every decision I make. None of this was my choice. I am learning to live with both the negative and positive impact of having such a frightening, devastating, isolating and frustrating experience, when I out the whole of my energy into being positive. It will take time and I need to adjust slowly. It’s not a quick fix. I hope this helps, our life experiences have been very different. I hope you find a happy place. Everyone is special and deserves respect and dignity.