I have recently been diagnosed with lobular breast cancer following a call back from my routine mammogram. The following week, I had a repeat mammogram, an ultrasound and breast biopsies which confirmed diagnosis the following week. I then had an MRI last week which showed another area of concern and a suspicious lymph node. I had another ultrasound this Tuesday with breast and lymph node biopsies. I’m back to see the surgeon next Tuesday afternoon for results and treatment plan.
During the ultrasound, the sonographer told me the usual treatment in my case would be mastectomy. I was not expecting that news whilst lying on the bed and have to admit, I was completely floored. Up until Tuesday, I’d been quite accepting of everything but now, I’m living day by day until Tuesday. I feel bad for being scared when so many go through this often scary time. I feel like I have no control now and worry about what the future holds. I’m scared. Feel lost between appointments. I have a lovely BCN and supportive family and friends and yet feel so alone in all of this.
I suppose I’m looking for some hope amid the fear x
Dear Lizzie,
We have all been there and now we are here for you. The news and the way you have received it is an unsettling, usually you would have your appointment with your consultant and your BCN who would explain your results and go through your treatment with you going forward.
I can understand and sympathise what a shock this has been to you, try to be kind and take one day at a time at the moment until you see your consultant next Tuesday. who will hopefully be able to put your mind at rest,
I wish I could take your pain and fears away, anxiety takes such a toll on us, so pleased you have a lots of friends and family around you. Take good care of yourself don’t let your thoughts run too far until you have seen your consultant on Tuesday.
Wishing you, health and happiness going forward, please let us know how you are getting on.
biggest hugs Tili 
Oh wow @Lizzie1811 that’s tough to hear. I have had great care from some excellent professionals to whom I am very grateful but, I have to admit, there has been some bluntness of messaging in there too. It can be hard to process. It does sound, from the number of evaluative appointments that you have had, that your team are cracking on with things, which is great to hear and you have only four days left to go before hearing about your treatment plan. Only four days? When each minute seems like an eternity and you can’t think of anything else? We’ve all been there. It will soon pass, believe me, and then you will have that precious time with the surgeon to discuss the way forward and ask whatever questions you have. Once you have the treatment plan you will get a sense of control over the situation. You will have to sign consent forms for each stage of treatment so make sure you understand your choices before signing - another form of control. It’s good to hear that you have a supportive family but, with the best will in the world, they’re unlikely to fully understand what you’re going through. There will be many women on this forum who match your situation both in diagnosis and in personal circumstances (if you could bear to tell us a bit more about yourself) and the reassurance you get from those who have been there is a great comfort. Good luck on Tuesday 
Hi Lizzie, I could have written what you did myself! Word for word. To me the waiting for the results was the worst, just brutal! I am still waiting for my full body scan which is on 04/07 and then my oncologist will be able to tell me more about my cancer stage. I count the minutes and I’m battling the anxiety I’ve been struggling with for years! What I can tell you however is that there really is a stigma about cancer and cancer treatment and this adds a lot to the terrible emotions we all are going through! Think about how advanced cancer treatment is nowadays! People with metastatic breast cancer manage to live for many years even decades! Yesterday I read about Sarah Ferguson’s breast cancer - it can happen to anyone! Try your hardest to stay positive! I too have a very supportive family, but at the same time it breaks my heart that they have to be a part of all this! But it is what it is. Do try to stay strong and keep in touch if it helps! Big hug, xx