New journey - hopefully happy ending

Just recently been diagnosed, I have to be so thankful to the Breast Screening for this and cannot praise them enough for their support and kindness

After core biopsy was told Ductal Cancer Grade 3 and referred to my chosen hospital.

Had my appointment yesterday and operation was explained and accepted, consent forms signed for lumpectomy and centennial node surgery, with other treaments before and after results.

All along my husband has been with me but I think I have supported him, he cried when we both told. I have 2 sons – 1 in New Zealand, he is going through very hard marital problems which involves 2 grand children and has depression – My other son has mental health problems, I am his carer and appointee and he relies on only me, he is just making improvements with the new medication.

The only person I have told is my best friend, thinking I will say only when I think its needed.

After tomorrow I will have lost my immediate and closest as he will be taking my son on annual holiday for 2 weeks (can’t tell you how he has been looking forward to this trusts nobody else) My husband did not want to go but I would rather have that than try to explain to my son. Also consultant said operation wouldn’t be in the next 2 weeks. As said feel I can’t tell other son in New Zealand.

To cap it all my best friend will be away for 10 days over the 2 weeks my husband is away.

Just thinking……. I have nobody else to tell (well nobody that would really care)…… Even though I let on I am strong and shrug it off for everyone else….perhaps I am not strong…. maybe I want to tell everyone because I (yes ME) I want support. Don’t want ‘poor you’ …just encouragement.

Hi Mandy-me

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums. You’ve come to the right place for the support you are looking for, as the users of this website understand what you are going through and are a wonderful support to one another.  Plus our helpline team are only a free phone call away if you want to talk to someone in confidence for both practical and emotional support so please don’t hesitate to ring them.  0808 800 6000 lines ope weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2.

Also available to you as well as the above is a session we run each Thursday evening between 8.30pm and 9.30pm is our General Live chat, here you can ‘talk’ to others in real time and at the same time a nurse is also there to answer any questions you may have and support you.  I will put you the link to Live Chat below for you to have a look at.  The only thing I would point out regading Live Chat is at the moment this can only be accessed via a laptop/desktop computer as the system we are currently using will not work with tablets/phones -but we are working on this!

breastcancercare.org.uk/community/chat

I have also put for you below the link to one of BCC’s publications - your operation and recovery - which I hope you find helpful.

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/your-operation-recovery-bcc151

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

Hi Mandy

 

I am sorry that you have got this diagnosis, specially at a time when you’re nearest and dearest are about to go off for a break. Everyone here is great and will certainly offer you support and words of encouragement.

 

It is a difficult one, who to tell. I think initially I told lots of people and in hindsight there are a couple I wish I hadn’t told and perhaps more details than were necessary.

 

It takes a while for it to sink in so perhaps this quiet time will help you come to terms with it a little.

 

Take care.

 

Mary

Hi

 

Thank you so much for your replies and kind words.

 

Packed them both off early hours this morning. Timing for this bombshell could have been better but today has not been as bad as I thought it would be. I was so worried I would panic and get really upset but this bit of quiet time alone where I have not had to put on a ‘brave face’ for anyone has been a bit of a relief.

 

Apart from my good friend I really do not have anyone I feel comfortable with enough to tell, the thought of telling anyone makes me feel I am burdening or upsetting them.

 

While I know its evasive and my lymph nodes are enlarged I think it is still not knowing what course its going to take until after the surgery results…. so it is coming to terms with what has happened so far while I wait for my appointment.

 

I don’t know if it has sunk in or not, just feel a bit numb.

 

Wishing you all the very best

 

Mandy

Mandy-me of course people care. We all care for each other on this forum. I am normally a very honest and forthright person. I have had my ups and downs recently. But you know what u will beat this and no one here will think poor you. As you go on your journey you will soon be able to support others too. I also had to deal with my son being unconsolable but I turned this into a positive by feeling that I as able to be there for him as he is having marital problems and he comes to his weemammy for support. Keep us updated we are all here for each other hugs xx

Had a phone call about my surgery today, they wanted me to have it on the 25th with a different surgeon and at a different hospital. My husband is due back on the evening of the 24th and it would be a bit of a risk of him being delayed etc and not only that I would not like to change surgeons or hospitals. After a lot of talking between the caller and another person, I could hear my Doctors name mentioned so I said I wanted my original Doctor and my chosen hospital. I have now got the 1st October with the Doctor and hospital as planned but I have to go to the other hospital first thing of that morning to have the radioactive dye and the trace wire then travel to my chosen hospital for my surgery in the afternoon…… so not to plan… this dont bode well…feeling very unsettled now!