Dear @Starr1 , I am so sorry you have found yourself in this situation. I understand the utter devastation and shock. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason to this terrible disease. My friend is a consultant and she said people get it who are fit, unfit, healthy, and unhealthy…. It does not discriminate.
Like you, I have no family history at all of breast cancer and discovered my lump by chance (mine is HER2+ and wide spread DCIS). I was 45 when diagnosed in Nov last year. I have had a mastectomy and 12 weeks of chemotherapy - I finished 6 weeks ago. I have a 7 year old son and husband and am an Assistant Headteacher in a secondary. Words simply cannot describe my utter shock, terror, fear and panic when I was diagnosed.
I am no expert but I found my breast unit nurse to be an amazing support. She rang me regularly and I could phone to ask her any questions. I also asked to be referred for help at the hospital, so had six sessions of reflexology and mindfulness at our local cancer care unit. I see a counsellor, I pay for privately, and a clinical psychologist at the hospital. I have found once I started chemo that joining the monthly group of others starting chemo at the same time was extremely helpful and supportive. Breast Cancer Now and Macmillan have helplines. I think it is so important to look after your mental health when going through this, as I am sure someone in your line of work can understand.
Everyone’s journey and treatment plan is individual. I suppose you won’t know if you can work until you are going through it. My work were very supportive and I went off work from the day I was diagnosed. Mentally, I just could not cope. I get 6 months full pay and 6 months half pay. Yet, I sat with a lady at chemo, who was a bank manager, who worked right the way through. She said work were very understanding and flexible. She could work from home and if she was not well she could go and rest. I managed to play tennis quite a lot through chemo on my good days but it will depend on your treatment plan. I had weekly Paclitaxol, which, I understand, reduces the side effects. Other treatments seem to have a lot more.
When I heard I had to have chemo I was devastated and fearful but from my experience it was manageable.
When I was panicking about work when I was fist diagnosed, my breast nurse took my hand and said to me, ‘You are now in a fight for your life and you and your health have to be a priority.’ She did not say it to scare me but to make me put work on the back burner for a while.
You will also find you have a lot of appointments coming up. I can’t imagine how worried you are about telling your Mum. When you have the full picture you may find it slightly easier to explain. She may be your biggest support and will just be concerned for you.
Use all the help and support you can get and look after yourself. I hope you get a full treatment plan soon. Take one step at a time, stay off Google (easier said than done) and listen to the professionals and your body. My friend warned me that a lot of data out there on Google is outdated, as there have been so many new developments in breast cancer treatment, or based on American statistics.
I am sending you lots of strength, support and love. Nicky xxx
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