Hiya , first time post!
Massive shock this week to be told i had breast cancer .
Doctor has said breast is being removed in 3/4 weeks .
Only told close family/friends , not sure what im after really , guess trying to find any chaps going through it , personally ive never known a male have it although my wife had BC 10 years ago and was actually the one found my lump .
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Hi @bookie11
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that you find yourself here. There are some other men on this forum so hopefully one will be able to answer you soon. Although us ladies also like to add our support.
You maybe like to try the BCN Someone Like Me and they may be able to match you with another man diagnosed with bc
- Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
I know the Maggie’s charity at Velindre in Cardiff run a men’s group so one locally to you may also do the same.
I also found this on BCN website about a Men’s Virtual Meet Up
https://breastcancernow.org/about-us/blogs/men-breast-cancer-do-not-need-feel-alone/
We are a friendly and supportive bunch.
Take care🥰
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Hello there @bookie11
So sorry that you find yourself here . I’m not sure where you are in the country but in my town the BCNs run a support group and I have seen a couple of men there . We also have an informal one - a monthly meet up for coffee / afternoon tea and one of the chaps comes to that so I’m sure there will be men in your area you can contact if you want to meet face to face either now or at a later stage. I was going to suggest Maggie’s but @naughty_boob has already done that.
I think there’s a men’s section on here though I’m not entirely sure how to find it but hopefully someone will answer . It must be quite difficult for you as a couple to be dealing with this having already been through it once . This probably won’t be of much comfort now but breast cancer is a very common cancer so the research into it and the treatments are constantly being reviewed and updated and things will definitely have been refined and improved since your wife had BC .
As to telling people / who to tell and when - that is entirely up to you . Most of us have been on the end of comments that are inappropriate to one degree or another , some of us have found that some friends and family have done a disappearing act on us because they can’t or don’t want to deal with it . Usually there’s some compensation though because other friends / family really come through for you but its not necessarily the people you think it will be . If you are still working make sure you keep your manager updated , cancer and cancer treatments falls under the Disabilities Act which means that on return to work you would be entitled to reasonable adjustments - but that’s not to say that you would need them . MacMillan are good to speak to re employment law and the benefit system if you were ever to need financial advice - but many people don’t .
Wishing you all the best for your treatment and good health going forwards . Xx
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Hi @bookie11
@naughty_boob is right about the Men’s Virtual Meet Up
I am the co founder and we are going from strength to strength . The main reason that we formed it was that when I was diagnosed in 2012 , I had no contact with other men . Thankfully that is changing .
We do have a men’s forum on here Breast cancer in men - Breast Cancer Now forum
The VMU has been getting a lot of support and publicity recently . We meet online once a month on the fourth Thursday . Its something that we all look forward to . Its not doom and gloom and we all learn from others experiences Here is our website and would be great if you came along whenever, no pressure .
We also have a really good Whats App Group.
Here is our website https://www.themensvmu.org/
And here is an article form one of the guys last month Take care my friend
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Welcome to the forum @bookie11
I am very sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and glad that you have reached out here.
The support for men has improved a lot over time, although there is a still a way to go and I can see that @The_Plumarade has already linked the resources and groups that he’s helped us develop.
Please know that our breast care nurses are here if you have questions or want to chat. You can reach them on 0808 800 6000.
We’re thinking of you,
Lucy
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Hi @bookie11,
You are not alone, I too am a member on tThe Mens VMu (https://www.themensvmu.org/)
We all know its a difficult subject to talk about but we are here and if you need to talk or ask any questions, none of which are stupid, just reach out to us, when or if you are ready to.
My name is Brian and was diagnosed in 2005. Clearly I’m 19 years down this road now, having had plenty of experience and our collective can probably answer most questions you might have at any stage of the journey.
All the very best in your journey.
Brian
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Hiya Brian,.thanks a lot for your reply.
Yeah it was quite a shock last week to be told, im actually back at the hospital Tomorrow, i think for blood tests to check if its a family gene .
Will keep in touch ,
Cheers
Bookie11, all the best for today.
Im afraid blood tests will be a regular occurence and I think you are right that they carry out genetic testing routinely now. This only happened in the past when there was a history of related cancers in the family; breast, ovarian, testicular etc. Basically anything that are susceptible to hormone problems exacerbated by a faulty gene.
I have two daughters, so I was keen to know. Thankfully it is not genetic for me.
One piece of advice, dont dwell on the how or why me, it’s a very difficult question that rarely gets satisfactorily answered.
Please stay positive.
We are with you.
Brian
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Cheers Brian,
Back home now , been given my op date and had the genetic test .
Thanks for your advice too.
Cheers
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No problem. If you want to chat, message me direct if you dont want it open to the forum.
I’m so very sorry you’ve joined our BC Club but please don’t feel you’re alone.
Use this forum to tell us how you feel and ask your questions and you’ll find lots of support.
I hope your op goes well and you recover quickly! 