Newbie to this forum


I’m new to this forum, new to this in general. I was diagnosed with widespread DCIS and 8mm IDC in my left, small DCIS in my right. Er+ HER2-. Mastectomy for left breast booked for two weeks and mammoplasty on the right. I’ve just turned 44 with 2 little ones (8&4). I visited a Maggies centre last week and as amazing as it was, it was quite lonely as I was the youngest person by at least 20 years. I guess I’m just searching for people who are dealing with this at a similar age. Does it always feel like an uphill battle and you’re always just waiting? My brain is fried and I’m exhausted with it all. If anyone has any tips for Mastectomy/Mammoplasty recovery that would be amazing.


Hi @bosley,

Welcome to the forum, I hope you find it a supportive and helpful place - everyone here is very friendly and our nurses are always available for any questions you have.

I’m really sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I’m sure you’re in quite a bit of shock and it’s no wonder. If you use the search function on the forum you may be able to find topics from those who have had really similar experiences and are of similar ages.

You might find this thread helpful: 40 somethings in similar position?

You also might want to check out our Younger Women Together service which offers a range of face to face and online support specifically for younger women with primary breast cancer: Younger Women Together | Breast Cancer Now

We’re sending all the love and will be with you every step of the way :heart:


Hi there. I am similar age to you (43) and have 3 kids (12, 10 and 6). I had 15mm IBC and 43 mm DCIS in my left side (same hormone status as you). I totally empathise with the age thing. I know that there are some really young women who have to deal with this horrid disease but I was decades younger than everyone else in the waiting room the day I got my biopsy results. I had a lumpectomy last October and have recently finished radiotherapy. I totally agree that the waiting is tough. For me it was definitely the hardest part. I was actually quite happy on the day of my operation as although I wasn’t looking forward to it, it felt good to finally start doing something to get rid of this horrible imposter! I hope you can keep looking after yourself and do the things you can to keep yourself calm in the lead up to everything. Wish you really well and I am sure you will get lots of great support on here. Hope being a Mum gives you something positive to focus on every day no matter what. You can do this :muscle: :kissing_heart:

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I didn’t have a mastectomy but this cushion really helped me sleep better and I know others on here who have had mastectomies have used v shaped pillows. Only other tip is try and do the post op exercises as best you can. They really do help massively. I tried to familiarise myself with them before the op so they were second nature afterwards x

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Younger women - Breast Cancer Now forum this section of the forum is also specifically for younger women so all the posts will be from this age range.


I agree that a cushion really helps, especially at night. A friend sent me one through the Devon Duvet company. They sell them not for profit and make a donation to breast care charities. Such a thoughtful gift.
Good luck and keep in touch with the forum for support, here people really understand x

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Thank you! And thank you for the link. X

Thank you so much for replying. Just searching and there’s some lovely pillows. I’ve not even thought about sleeping yet, I’m getting used to not sleeping at the moment - vivid dreams! X x

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Thank you. X x

Thank you so much for the reply. I was sat waiting for my preop assessment so your message was very welcome. I feel calmer about the op now after speaking to the nurses. Its just all a bit rubbish isn’t it. My boys definitely keep me on my toes. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: X x

Hi I am 46 and was diagnosed around 18 months ago with 8mm invasive BC. I have 2 boys now 6 and 10. I had a therapeutic mamoplasty across both breasts with lump removed and margins on effected side and reduction the other. I also had 3 lymph nodes removed. Its really tough and you do feel so much younger than most. I found people like me good to match me up with someone who had similar treatment but they found it hard to get someone in my age range. I would see if there are any local support groups Maggie’s should be able to help. Great book called mummy’s lump Yoo I used to share with my boys and thier school. Just take one day at a time and know there are lots of us out there in similar age range to support. Contacting the charity directly too if needed talk to one of their nurses they are great. It’s like a roller coaster you are on it without a choice and you have no control and you can’t get off. Just trust your team. I found that info in Liz O Riden book useful too. She is also on Instagram.


Thanks @Katpowell. Its just the constant waiting thats mind bending. Ill be walking in the rain today, hopefully will help. Just downloaded that book. She seems an amazing women. X


So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I’m 36 (mum of two aged 6 & 3), fit and healthy and was diagnosed with DCIS the day after my birthday in May 2023 and had a left mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on July 10. After histology two invasive pockets were found so my staging changed from O to 1.

I felt exactly the same as you about being so young on diagnosis, feeling isolated and actually went through a phase of being really angry when I saw old people out and about thinking how have they got to their age and here I am at 36 facing cancer.

I promise you it does get easier. I found the operation and recovery fine - I’ve had two c-sections so used this as my benchmark and found the mastectomy a lot easier to recover from. The emotional recovery is much harder and I’m still suffering badly now with anxiety/panic attacks. But please know you’re not alone.

My surgeon referred me to a clinical psychologist at my hospital and I’m finding this really useful to talk through my fears about the future and the kids etc with a psychologist so I would definitely make sure you find out if the same is available at your trust and take any therapy you can.

You’re in the thick of it at the mo but time is a healer and things will feel better. My surgeon told me although diagnosis under 45 is rare, it is getting more common and my trust has seen a rise in the past five years. Cruel, unfair and not something we should have to face so young :frowning:

Sending you all the positive vibes and wishing you all the best


Thank you for replying. Its definitely the mental side that is taking a toll. Every ache, every pain, waiting for more results, waiting for surgery. I’m on the waiting list for the clinical psychologist and I’ve been prescribed some Diazepem to help control the anxiety attacks when they turn up. My eldest is struggling and my youngest keeps asking am I better now. This is not how I imagined 44 to be.

So sorry you’re going through this. I’m still trying to navigate through the emotional side so don’t have any other advice to give.

I am exactly the same with the worry about aches and pains. My anxiety brought on horrendous pulsatile tinnitus in the autumn and I convinced myself it was a brain tumour and had to pay for a private scan - which came back normal. I’m now suffering dizzy spells constantly and terrible fatigue. Worried sick it’s something sinister but logically know it’s just side effect of anxiety and stress.

My children are young enough that I’ve been able to hide it from them. My six year old is too young to understand. Obviously he seen me after the mastectomy poorly but we didn’t go in to detail about what was happening. When the are old enough I’ll explain so I can’t imagine having that added stress of having your children aware too.

Sending love

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It’s just rubbish isn’t it. Hopefully with time it gets easier. I hope things ease for you aswell. X x