Hi all. Just thought I’d join this forum as I’ve never met or spoken to anyone with secondary bc and feel it will help me. I’ve had BC x3 times now. The first time was when I was 43 (2004) L side, lumpectomy, radiothetapy/Tamoxifen then 10 years later (2014) R side, same treatment but stopped Tamoxifen due to side effects. Then eventually diagnosed with metastatic BC in 2018. Initially deposits in my lungs liver and bones( hip, spine rib,skull) had chemo, radiotherapy, then Palbocyclib (Ibrance) and Letrozole, with improvements and almost gone now in liver and lung. What im struggling with most is a complete lack/change of identity. I had a fracture in my hip (undiagnosed) so now have a limp/stick when I was v.fit, gym daily type of person. I’ve put on 2 stone, had long dark hair, now short white hair…I was a psychiatric nurse but have retired through ill health. I feel completely different and don’t recognise or like the person I see, despite numerous compliments from everyone, how my new hair looks so much better! I look really healthy but just feel a little lost. Sorry to go on, I’m not self pitying as I’m blessed to still be here but am struggling wth motivation etc…hopefully some of you can identify with all this…love Kate xx
Hi Katie, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had sbc for three years and have put on weight and lost about 50% of my hair. I really don’t like what I see in the mirror and hate having my photo taken. It really annoys me when people when you’re going to finish your treatment. I am lucky that I have a wonderful set of family and friends who are always there for me, but I do think there is so little understanding of sbc in the wider public. My best suggestion is just take it all a day at a time and be kind to yourself. It takes a while to accept that this is your new normal (that sounds familiar these days!) and you will find new ways of making your time seem fulfilling.
I hope it helps chatting on this website to others in the same position as you. I go to a local support group and I find it really helpful. Maybe you could look into something like that where you live. Take care and keep safe.
Hi Katie
I can relate to your struggles. I was diagnosed with bc left breast in September 2018. Had chemo then mastectomy n reconstruction and finally radiotherapy. I had a month of normality then started to get severe back pain and was eventually diagnosed with secondary bc in my spine ribs n left leg in November 2019. I struggle with not knowing what’s going to happen in the future. I too look healthy but am not the person I was. I do have family n good friends but don’t like to burden them with my worries. Hoping I can find some new friends on here.
Penny