I am in a total state of shock, having been diagnosed with breast cancer today. My GP originally fobbed me off in September, then sent me as a non-urgent referral last month so I wasn’t too worried. Then today the devastating news that I have a 3cm tumour and am to have a lumpectomy next Monday.
I really don’t know how to feel. One minute I’m upset, the next I’m postive but mostly I’m just numb. I’m 41 and I have 3 young children. It’s Christmas next week!
In need of some kind words and reassurance more than I can say right now.
I hope you can read this ok? My first attempt is showing up ok for me, but all my comments are blank to everyone else?
Diagnosed last Friday following routine mammogram and subsequent biopsy. Been told its lobular so it could well be in more than one place, so I have to have an MRI scan. Won’t know until I’ve had that whether they will do lumpectomy or mastectomy. That’s the worst bit - don’t have anything to focus on. Just heard today that MRI is on 31 Dec and I will have to wait until 9 Jan before it is interpreted and they have decided what to do.
Up until yesterday, I was very up and down, with lots of tears, but had a wierd moment last night when I was driving to my yoga class. Suddenly, I felt as if someone had flicked a switch in my brain and calmed it down. My yoga teacher did a class with me in mind and I had my best night’s sleep for three weeks, when I had my biopsy.
Speak to your breast care nurse - mine is great - very supportive/understanding but also down to earth and positive. It’s understandable that your mind races and your thoughts go in all kinds of directions where you don’t want them to go. I’m focusing on the fact that the treatment available now is brilliant compared to years ago and they really have got their act together with regard to our care.
Good luck on Monday and at least you’ll have an excuse not to have to cook Christmas lunch!
So sorry you have joined the club nobody wants to be in. I was dx last year aged 38 with 2 kids also and was completely devastated too. I had lumpectomy then 3 further excisions before they got clear margins. Chemo and Rads. Its nearly a year since treatment finished and I,m fighting fit and it all seems like a distant nightmare.
You will get throught it. Its too bad that you have to have Ops at Christmas but Breast surgery is not very painful and I,m sure you will be ok for the 25th and hopefully at home with your family.
You will get lots of support and Information on this site. I wish all the best to you and your family.
Lots of love Andrea xx
I’m sorry that you and I are both embarking upon such a scary journey Sal, but it’s good to know I’m not alone. It’s also encouraging to be reading comments from someone who is out the other side Andrea.
Ooooh sleep. I haven’t had a decent night since I got the breast clinic appointment 3 weeks ago. This last week has been the longest ever, I just want to go to my bed and wake up to find it was all a bad dream a la Dallas!
Will I ever be calm enough to sleep properly again without waking up in a panic in the middle of the night and with a thud of dread in the mornings? Seems hard to imagine.
Does anyone have any techniques for keeping calm that work for them?
Gennie - take a deep breath in and blow out slowly and in a controlled way through your mouth. Make sure your shoulders are relaxed - they are probably up round your earholes and they shouldn’t be!
I have to admit I didn’t have any positive experiences regarding cancer. But I realize now that treatment has moved on hugely over the years and this is not going to beat us is it??? A colleagues husband had testicular cancer 7 years ago and now he’s fighting fit and running marathons. I don’t think I’ll be doing the half triathlon I had planned to do in April, but I WILL do one at a later date, i’m sure of that!
My children are 27 and 29, but it was still very upsetting telling them - because they understand. If yours are small, they won’t understand the implications and they can cope a lot better than we think they can.
I was diagnosed in early October aged 29. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. The only advice I can give you is try not to think too far ahead. Break each bit into stages. Get your lumpectomy over with, then deal with the next stage, and so on. There will be so much to take in and it will happen very quickly, to the point where you think, did that just happen? You will have bad days, but make the most of the good ones!!
Treatment has moved on and it continues to do so. I was absolutley terrified when I found out as we all are, but the hospital have been terrific, and as I approach my last hurdle of 5 more chemo’s I can hand on heart say it is all doable, and you do forget the bad bits!!
Hope the surgery goes well for you, let us know how you get on. All the best.
Mandy x
I was dx on 21/12/07 aged 34 with a 7 yr old, 4 yr old and 18 month old. I had lumpectomy, chemo and rads and finished treatment oct 08. It a horrid time to be dx as like any time. last yr i was walking around like a zomby and ended on diazapam to take the edge of things. really thought i wouldn’t make it to today and here i am thank god. It is difficuult with the children but you do are so excited about christmas they just get on with being kids and having fun.
The past few weeks have been emotional to say the least and i’m sure they will be for the next few weeks.
I know its difficult but you have to go through this for you and your children and it really helps breaking it all up into stages and taking it step by step.
It only seems like yesterday that I was in the black hole after being diagnosed, but that was May and I can’t believe how quickly it has gone in a mad whirl of treatments and hospital appointments. I had a lumpectony in June (which I can honestly say wasn’t painful - didn’t need any painkillers), followed by 8 chemos which I finished a couple of weeks ago. Just the rads in the New Year + 5 years of hormone therapy.
As Mandy rightly says, just concentrate on the next hurdle and don’t look too far ahead. Once you get your treatment plan you will feel so much better. Something to focus on. It’s amazing how we all adapt and cope, it just takes a little time to ‘get your head round’ things.
You will find loads of support and information on this site but be selective about what you read, otherwise you can scare yourself silly. Everyone on here has been where you are now and knows exactly how you feel, so take comfort in the fact if someone like me can cope with it all, then anyone can.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel - you just can’t see it yet.
Very sorry to read about your diagnosis - especially at this time of year. I was diagnosed 2 years ago just before Christmas so I know just how you feel. Over the last two years I have got through surgery, chemo, radiotherapy, Herceptin, am on hormone therapy and am doing pretty well. I’m a real wimp but I’ve managed - and we all do manage somehow.
This site is wonderful and you’ll find lots of information and support here.
Everyone understands about feeling scared - we’ve all been there. Most people find that once they start treatment - actually doing something about the cancer - they feel a bit better. The waiting is the worst part.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
Take care
Anthi x
It’s so good to talk to people who are treading this path too and those who are further along the way having got through what I’m about to face. My children are a daughter of 9 and 6 year old twin boys. We’re not telling them until the weekend, let them have the last 2 fun days at school first. My boys I don’t think will register it much at all. My daughter is quite a sensitive soul and she’s going to be scared and upset I think. Really not looking forward to telling her.
there’s a book called Mummy’s Lump which Breast Cancer Care can send you for free which was written by someone who had breast cancer in 1990 and found that there were no books available to explain to young children. It may help you. Children do need an explanation as they can think they are to blame.
Just had to post this before I go to work and forget it. I had a dream last night that I was sitting on a sofa chatting with “my mate” David Tennant, trying to persuade him to come to a yoga class with me. If your imagination can be so wierd when you’re asleep, it’s no surprise your thoughts run wild when you’re awake! Just concentrate on what you know, not what you fear.
Gennie you will be home for Christmas and just a bit uncomfortable probably so no need to tell kids too much before Christmas!Your daughter can be told a bit more when you have your results and know what treatment you have to have.You can do this.Love Valxx