After a routine mammogram and having no symptoms or concerns at all, I was recalled for more tests and then told I have breast cancer. It came as a complete and utter shock and I am really struggling to get my head round it all. I am still recovering and having physio for an accident I had 18 months ago but this diagnosis has knocked both me and my husband for 6. At the moment I am struggling to take in much information and none of it seems real but my surgery is 26th August and I think it will all start to hit me then. The fear of the unknown is horrible. So many of you will understand and I just need some reassurance. Thank you.
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Hi @charlie4
It is a completely normal reaction to feel shocked and numb when you get a cancer diagnosis. I guess we all feel a bit immortal until a diagnosis like this hits us. You are at the start of a âpathwayâ that is slightly different for everyone. It can be reasonably short or it can be long. Once you get going with treatment though, you start to feel a bit better mentally, because you feel like you are doing something about it. Also you get instructions about what comes next, every step of the way.
Donât forget you can phone the helpline here any time if you need to talk. There is also the âsomeone like meâ service which will match you with someone who is similar age with similar diagnosis, so you can communicate with them.
Personally, I found the surgery easy to cope with - I had a lumpectomy and two mastectomies. Didnât even stay the night in hospital. You may need to find a post-op bra (online or M&S do them). If you have specific questions just post them on here and you will get loads of advice. Above all keep focused on the fact that there are thousands and thousands of people living healthy lives, long after a breast cancer diagnosis (17 years for me).
Wishing you all the best and sending love and hugs
Eily 
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Hi @charlie4 Welcome to the forum nobody wants to join but when you are here you will be so well supported.
Iâm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, nobody wants to hear those words, but you have a treatment plan, starting with surgery so thatâs good.
I was diagnosed in May 2023 and was hit by a couple of curve balls, not only did I have one tumour but they found another in the other naughty boob, then I was diagnosed with HER2+ so needed chemo and a year of targeted therapy. So my treatment changed but I got there in the end. Iâve just had my 2nd annual mammogram with no areas of concern.
I found the support and knowledge of all healthcare professionals second to known even with NHS backlogs etc. itâs a bit of a whirlwind but they individualise your treatment for you.
- Helpline: 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm). Speak to our trained helpline team. No questions are too big or too small.
- Ask Our Nurses: You can message our nurses here on the forum, or confidentially. Whatever you prefer.
- Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer whoâs had a similar experience to you. Theyâll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
Can I ask how old you are? As there is extra support for anyone under 45. If that applies to you I can post another link.
Take sometime to plan some nice things to take your mind of all of this before your surgery. I went away for a short break in the U.K. and it was just what I needed before starting treatment.
Take care.
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Thank you so much Eily. I really appreciate your reply and kindness. Very best wishes and sending love too x
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Thanks so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. I am 70 - up until this happened, I really havenât felt that old though. We have a couple of things planned before my surgery, things that were already on the calendar like wedding anniversary and a vintage fair so that will be good.
Take care too. x
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Hi. I know exactly how you feel. 3 years next week I got my diagnosis after my 3 yearly mammogram. No lump, no idea. It came right out of the blue. Itâs such a shock and is the only thing you can think about. It will get easier. I felt better by talking about it. This is a great forum to do that. Be kind to yourself everything youâre feeling is quite normal. Take each stage as it comes and youâll get there
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Hi charlie4,
Iâm so sorry youâve been diagnosed with breast cancer but itâs good to see you on here where you will get support. The BC nurses are amazing and you can speak to them on the phone or email. Really useful if youâre feeling very anxious and forgot to ask your team something. Sometimes surgeons donât like too many questions!
This is the worst time for everyone,
Just after diagnosis with all the uncertainty. All you can do is keep busy and try to distract yourself - not easy I know. Itâs a process you need to go through, but it will get better, and you will feel less anxious when you know more.
You will be very well looked after by your multidisciplinary team. You will be okay. Listen to them, theyâre the experts. Advocate for yourself but take their advice. With so much out there in social media and on this forum, itâs inevitable to question. Remember your journey is unique to you and your team are the only people who can guide and advise you.
Good luck charlie4. You will get through this and get your life back again.
x
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Hi charlie4
As mentioned by the other lovely ladies welcome to the forum you never wanted to be part of but glad when youâve found it.
First of all we all know itâs a scary place to be but as prev ladies have mentioned thereâs lots of support on here. No two ppl are the same and thatâs the tricky thing but you can bet your bottom dollar that someone will be able to answer your questions and there will be a lot.
The nurses are amazing! You will be assigned a bcn and given their number to call. I know from experience that they donât always get back to you as theyâre very busy but this forum will be a godsend when you have those times. Especially at 3in the morning when your brain is awake and running with all the what ifs and maybes
You can also get some counselling- again ask your nurse but breat cancer now is fab and you can join a grp online. We're here for you | Breast Cancer Now
They also have a service called someone like me who is a volunteer service with people who have gone through breast cancer and can be paired with people experiencing the same as you. Very helpful
Take things day by day and invest in some rescue remedy- I swear by it!
And a heart pillow for after the operation. Helped me immensely- I had bilateral cancer and couldnât find the pillows online so made my own plus a few extra and took them in for ward sister to distribute to the ladies on the ward
Take care and please keep us posted
Lynn x
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Thank you so much. It is very reassuring to have been told about this organisation and I am so thankful for it.
I feel somewhat overwhelmed with everything today but tomorrow is another day.
Thanks so much for your support.
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I think I replied yesterday but canât find it. Just want to say thank you so much for your kindness. Itâs much appreciated.
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Dear Charlie4,
Welcome to the forum we are all here for you with love and support at any time.
Take one day at a time at the moment, make notes, as we always forget the most important questions.
I can see you have has some lovely comments for our ladies. Wishing you health and happiness going forward.
Much love Tili 
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What type of cancer is it? I was totally the same mammogram recalled then told I had tubular breast cancer. My mental health nose dived and I really struggled. So scared of the surgery but Iâm 3 weeks post op now after lumpectomy bilateral mammoplasty and sentinel node biopsy and not feeling too bad. I get my results on Tuesday and feeling abit nervous again
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Hi Charlie4
I went for a mammogram out of the blue 22 years ago and they found a lump which at 1st they thought was nothing. I ended having a mastectomy and treatment now at the age of 77 I took my grandson to a skate park. While waiting I saw the van and went and booked an appointment for 27th May was told on 6th June I had breast cancer again in the other boob. I had a lumpectomy on 16th July having radiotherapy starting the week 18th August. I am thankful that I was able to have surgery and treatment so quick. Iâm telling you this because as scary as it is and believe at my age now was really scary. Think how we would be without these angels who do save our lives. It seemed all so easy this time as everything was so organised and quick. Take time to think what if!!! Then tell yourself. I have it I can beat it and I will carry on living and enjoying my life. The medical team and BC nurses will make it as easy as possible for you and give you as much support as you need all the way through. It is also good to be on here and realise how many people actual go through this and how thankful we all are for the busses that go round plus depts. how many lives they
Must save x
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Hi Charlie4,
Itâs tough coming to terms with a new diagnosis.
I am praying for you and as mentioned already this forum is a great place to start and to get support.
I was diagnosed in February this year and found the information here very helpful. It help me know that am not alone and there is a group of people out there that have experienced or experiencing what I am going through that I can reach out to for advice or support.
Lean on your family and friends if possible for support but also know you have a group of people here.
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You are not alone in feeling shocked and your thoughts will be bouncing like a pinball machine. I was in the same boat as you. A routine check and wham! It may not be what we ever want to hear but Iâm now so grateful that it was found and as others have said whilst everyoneâs journey is different once treatment starts mentally you will start to feel better. Rely on your breast care team and the wonderful help available here. Remember donât think that any question or worry you have is too small or too silly. Hugs & best wishes.
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Charlie4 sorry you find yourself here and youâve already had beautiful support from other forum members. Front button short sleeve pjâs will be helpful for you to take to hospital and wear post op, a dressing gown too, have they advised if you will have a drain/s? Also some flip flops to wear in hospital, hand cream, lip balm it can get dry in hospital. Alcohol wipes post op as tge anesthetic wore off I felt sick an amazing nurse where I was stuck one of those under my nose and told me to smell it, it took my nausea away straight away. Bit of tmi now get a tube of anosol the op can also block your bum up and itâs like getting a backward pine cone out so just do youâve got some cream at the ready if it happens to you. I wore zip loose hoody and joggers post op when not in phâs, very comfy and easy post op. Sending step at a time and day by day you will get through, we are all here do ask away breast cancer nowâs here for you and all your family 
Shi xx
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I fully understand how you are feeling as this happened to me las year.
I had a lot of support from the hospital and friends, plus several who had also had breast cancer.
I wrote down lots of questions and although I was a nurse/midwife at the time and probably knew too much I had to put my hands in the care of the professionals as they knew best.
Take each day at a time, talk about your feelings and concerns, donât bottle them up. It does take time to sink in, but just be thankful, they found the tumour when they did and you are getting early treatment.
People donât know what to say, but do talk, it helped me.
Iâm now a year on, gave up work and decided to live my life, itâs so precious.
Thinking of you and good luck on 26th August x
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The waiting is definitely the worst part. Once you have your diagnosis you feel more informed and able to look into what treatment options are recommended and what choices you may have to make. I relied on this forum when first diagnosed as itâs very supportive and we all get it-the fear, the uncertainty, the blatant hopelessness questioning why this happened. But good to air annything flying round your head or ask things like where to get a good bra for after surgery! Iâm sorry you find yourself here but give yourself some credit for going to your screening as so many choose to skip it as they are like you and I-no symptoms, just cutting about like normal. Keep us updated with how you get on and ask anything you need to ask x
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Hi Charlie
I was in exactly the same position as you in January. Routine mammogram, no symptoms etc. Itâs very hard to take in and actually believe it. I had a lumpectomy, lymph node removed and radiotherapy followed by letrozole which I am taking for 5 years. I still canât quite believe it but as everyone says thereâs lots of support if you need it. The worst part is waiting for results after your operation - so lean on your friends and family then. Best advice I had was to make sure youâre well stocked with food in the deep freeze and lots of nice fruit. I also didnât like silence where I had time to dwell so radio, tv, audio books and lots of walking. Sending you lots of love and luck. Xx
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Hi I remember feeling exactly the same and scrolling in here for magic answers. Honestly when it started the treatment I was so busy doing it was not as bad, my head calmed down. I honestly think the weeks after diagnosis were the worst. Try and take one day at a time. Remember you probably wonât get every side affect that is listed . Try and rest. Big hugs
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