Newly diagnosed and so sad

Hello, I’ve been reading the posts and thought I would reach out.

I was diagnosed with a grade 3 cancer a couple of weeks ago - two lumps next to each other - total size on ultrasound 18mm x 15mm.  I have a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy next week.  I know I just have to wait but it’s awful - I just keep crying all the time.

I’ve been told I need chemo and radiotherapy once the surgeon has confirmed he’s got all he can out.  The breast nurse said, depending on the results from the lumpectomy and biopsy, I might need more surgery.  There are two tests that have come back negative - something about hormones and one more result that I’m waiting for.

I keep reading the amazing positive posts on the forum and keep thinking - I’m a strong independent woman - why am I not coping?

Every ache and pain I think is cancer somewhere else - I have terrible achey joints and was ref’d to rheumatology before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I’m 53 and 9 years post menopause.  My mum died of breast cancer 30 years ago and all those memories have just come flooding back.

My friends keep saying - you’ll beat this - but those words just don’t help me.

My daughter is 11 and I just want to be around for her and well for her forever - I’m so very very sad.

Oh sweetie. Of course you’re sad. This is a horrible, horrible time for you and you’ve got a baby girl at home. There’s no way to be positive at this point. None of us were. Shoot, look back at my first post (you’ll have to scroll through tons and tons of my comments to do that though so I wouldn’t really advise it But I was a wreak. Actually wondered if it was possible if I would ever be happy again. Have joy again. Just live my life not so daggone frightened. So in saying that, you’re not alone. Everyone with some sense feels the way you do when they are first diagnosed. It’s a horrible shock to know your body made something that can kill you. 

But…it will get better. And quickly. This time period doesn’t last for long thankfully. It’s an information gathering time and it seems forever at the time because your anxiety makes those seconds seem like hours. But they move quickly, find their answers and then start the plan for your complete recovery. I had a grade 3, too, by the way. Pretty common for us younger ones. I went through a double mastectomy and chemo then headed to a reconstruction and now I’m on endocrine therapy just coasting away. No, I’m not the same, and sometimes I still get overwhelmed but for the most part, I’m happy. And I feel good. Life returns.

Ask whatever questions you need to and know we’ve got your back on this site. We understand, we care, and you’re not alone. 


Also just wanted to say  its good to remember that the treatments and and outcomes have changed so so much since 30 years ago, even 10 years. They know so much more now. 

It has all come on a long way. Its a horrible shock to take in but once treatment starts and you are on the road to recovery you will feel so much better.  x 


Hi to you and anyone just joining our group with similar feelings because I’m sure that’s most people diagnosed with cancer. I echo everything @Kay0987  @said-those first few weeks are horrible and until you have your surgery results and know exactly what you need to do, your ground will be shaky and emotions on a rollercoaster.

I used to walk round a local lake with my husband at 4am because I couldn’t sleep, with me giving him instructions on how to support our girls, and money to give for their weddings…I was convinced it had spread as I had backaches, had three primaries, biggest 55mm, extensive vascular invasion and two positive lymph. There was no way it hadn’t spread. The chest, abdomen and pelvis CT however was negative apart from gallstones and a few other non-significant findings.

once I knew all my results and plans, the ground wasn’t shaky. I’m not saying I liked the path I was on but I knew where I was going, which gave me some control and positivity back. Someone said to me at the time, you will feel happy again and I wondered what planet she was on but you know what, she was right. It just takes a little time, holding on in there tightly and getting vital answers for your head to clear.

when are you expecting your results/next consultant meeting?

big hugs



sorry just read your post again and see you have your procedure next week-good luck, hurdle 1 will be done, cancer removed and once you have post surgery results, you will know what’s needed afterwards to mop up/reduce recurrence. You can do this-you are that strong woman, that fabulous role model for your daughter. you knew you were finding it hard, needed a bit of support, reached out to where you would find it… that makes you very resourceful and strong in my book 



How I endorse the previous posters comments! It is a shock and we are angry that our bodies have done that to us! We are all members of a club we didn’t want to join-or even know about until our membership started! Ask lots and lots of questions, the staff are doing the job every day, and to them it is all routine, but to us it’s a totally new regime! You will find a ward full of ladies in the same or similar boat on your op day, some want to chat, others want to hide themselves away, and every way is fine. Good luck for next week, and be thankful the lumps were found when they were-I tell all my friends, check yourself regularly, and have your mammo’s when offered. Cancer is not the death sentence it once was.