Newly Diagnosed Gay Woman

Hello! I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on 17th May,  I am due to have a lumpectomy on 14th June, with some lymph node removal as well, to check that there is no spread.  This will be followed by three weeks of radiotherapy.  I seem to be coping reasonably well with all of this (I am a Nurse!), however, by beautiful girlfriend, not so much!  She is hardly sleeping and is worrying a lot more than I am.  Does anyone have any advice for partners?  We are getting married on September 17th (planned before pesky BC showed it’s face), we are adamant that we still want to go ahead with this, as it is a small informal, friendly wedding. Just wondered if there were any other ladies out there in a similar situation, who could offer any advice or share any experiences with us?

J xx

Hello Justine,

Sorry for not seeing or responding to your message before now.  I hope your surgery went well and that ‘beautiful girlfriend’ is coping better with your diagnosis and treatment.


My beautiful wife (we had a small, informal, friendly wedding last October) and I were both anxious when I was diagnosed in January this year.  She found it difficult to know how to help me at times when there wasn’t really anything that anyone could do.  She also found it hard to cope with my dreadful moods when I was having chemo.

We used our nearest Maggie’s Centre, who were absolutely brilliant in offering support and providing time and space to chat.  Partners are welcome to join in any activities they put on.  Do you have a Macmillan centre near you at all?  They were also very good in offering us both support.


I have had surgery and chemotherapy and I am now thinking about going back to work and moving on from having cancer, so I hope we have come through the worst.

Good luck to you both,



I had Chemio- surgery- radiotherapy!
what s next?
my body has been strong to fight but in the past few weeks
I felt how nice would be to meet in person with few women
who had the same or similar bad luck to talk and feel better.
If you feel the same please keep in touch.

I would be so happy to organise a meeting in September somewhere easy to reach for all.

Please keep in touch if you feel like to chat about it and why not feel closest emotionally in real life.

Warm Regards and let’s keep in strong contact to feel happier.

High Energy



This is my first post on this board although I have posted on the Going Through Treatment Board too.


I’m 48 and was diagnosed on 23 June with lumpectomy, lymph node removal and reconstruction on 19 July.  My wound has been somewhat problematic in healing and have only just had my radiotherapy planning appointment which didn’t go too well.  I now have an infection and on antibiotics for seven days with treatment due to start on 19 October but have to see my Oncologist beforehand to see if it can start.  The process just seems to be dragging on and I am quite tearful at the moment. 


My partner and I have been together 22 years so know each other well but sometime it is just nice to talk to other people who have been through it. We lost my partner’s Dad to Bladder/Prostate Cancer in 2010 and her Mum was successfully treated for breast cancer last year.  My Dad was disgnosed with Prostate Cancer in 2015 so had Radiotherapy and is just about at the end of his hormone therapy so this horrible disease is nothing new to us but I haven’t encountered any other gay women to meassage.  We have wonderful support from Family and Friends and our local Maggie’s Centre but it would be nice to have other friends can understand from your own point of view. 


I hope the wedding went well Justine and you have to take every opportunity you get in life so don’t put anything off.  If you have a locla Maggie’s you can arrange a one to one with a memeber of staff and you and your partner can both discuss how you feel.  We did this at our local centre when I was waiting for results to see if I needed chemo.


Hope you are all well.


x Fiona

Hello all,

I’m recently diagnosed with bc- I was given the news on Nov 15th, the date will remain in my heart for ever I think!..terrible shock.


i had a lumpectomy on Dec 13th and sentinel node bopsy, I’m healing well  and also have made sure I’m doing my stretches/arm exercises as I’m possibly having radiotherapy for three weeks if my path results are as expected, + 10yrs of Tamoxifen-  I’ll know more by mid January. Worse thing for me was all the waiting as I had a mammogramme recall in early October and it felt forever to get to Dec 13th!


I’ve been really supported by my friends as I have no kids of my own or family still alive to do this. I also have a fab  greyhound who is so low key and loving that he’s really done me good and means I walk at least twice each day and get out the house. My work colleagues have also been great and really supportive. We are all working in social care.


I’m going to go to my local mcmillan centre in January to get some more support, I have realised that you need as much help love and support as possible and I’m up for accepting this big time, as I’m usually quite independent and a ‘coper’


I hope and wish all of you courage and kindness to come your way for the New Year 

Best wishes x







Hi Dusty ,welcome to the forum .This is a very quiet part of the forum -please come and join us in the " going through treatment “I am recently diagnosed” sections of the site .There are monthly radiotherapy threads for people going through rads at same time .The " anxious waiting " is the worst part of this -let us know how you get on .Jill.

My wife ( of 19months) has just recently been diagnosed with Bi-Lateral cancer (cancer in both breasts)We’ve been together for 30  years

i love her - Unconditionally- band I will support her completely-  Never give up on the one you love :heart::heart::heart:

Hello She ,welcome to the forum .It is really great that you are so supportive of your wife .There is lots of information and support in the forum for both of you - maybe have a look at the newly diagnosed section ?Best wishesJill