Newly diagnosed, waiting to see how bad

Hi I’ve been diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive ductal breast cancer. Words I never thought I’d say. My husband and I are really struggling to get through each day. Had bone scan on Monday, CT scan yesterday and seeing consultant on Friday to see if it’s primary or secondary and how we’re going to deal with it. This is so hard. I’ve never been really ill, don’t feel ill now, I just have a lump in my breast that we thought was a cyst. But it turns out the cyst is cancer. How do you all cope with this? The waiting is the worst part.

Hello FiMillan,


Sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  However, welcome to the Forum where I am sure you will receive lots of support and any  information you need.  As well as the Forum,  the BCC site is full of useful booklets and information that you can download, as well as the free phone helpline to talk about anything or for emotional support.  You can also link with a volunteer  through the “Someone like me” scheme is you would find that helpful. 


I was also diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive ductal (Stage 2, ER+, HER2+) 2 years ago.  How quickly the time seems to have gone when I reflect on it now.


"The waiting is the worst part" - yes you are  absolutely spot on.  Waiting for tests, scans, biopsy, results, treatment blah blah but it is unfortunately all needed to help specifically diagnose the grade, stage and sensitivities of our intruder(s) and work out the best eviction plan.


That is brilliant that you are seeing the Consultant so soon so all the best for Friday.  I hope they have all the information available so that they can give you a clear treatment plan.  However, try not to worry if they do not and they need to run further tests or wait for some results.  It is quite normal even if mega frustrating and overwhelming.


Best wishes to you and your husband,


Chick X






I was diagnosed on 1st June this year, and completely empathise with how you are feeling. I felt completely overwhelmed to begin with. However, I promise you, it does become easier to cope in time. The waiting is the worst part, as you say, as your mind imagines worst case scenarios. When you have a definite treatment plan it becomes easier to bear. You may not believe this now, but once you have a plan, all the women that I have met with breast cancer go into coping mode and seem to get an inner strength. 

 My practical advice would be only to go on to reputable websites such as this one. Don’t look at statistics because when you are overwhelmed you will think of the negative outcome, when, for the vast majority of women, this is a ’ blip’ in our lives.

I can recommend a fantastic book- ’ Tea and Chemo’ by Jackie Buxton. It is packed with advice and postive words, and left me feeling very uplifted. It is actually often included in ’ chemo gift sets’ as it is just so positive.

 Don’t run ahead of yourself- in the book, Jackie’s father in law says ’ A to B, B to C, C to D’ and that really helped me. One stage at a time.

I have just one of six chemos left , two weeks today, then surgery. I feel that I can see light at the end of the tunnel and each day is a step closer to recovery. I feel so much more positive and less anxious than I did at the start, and you will too.

Whenever you feel anxious, come on to the forum. The supportive women on here will carry you through this.

Thinking of you.

Hi Chick
I know you’re right, that the waiting is needed. All I seem to be doing is crying.
I can see I’m going to get a lot of support from this forum and it’s great to see that you’re two years down the line, it’s encouraging especially when I feel I have little to hope for at the moment.
I have no idea what to expect and that’s what scares me most. But until Friday we just can’t do anything.
I’m in a fog most of the time, I guess that’s normal?
Friday seems such a long time away but the MDT don’t meet until tomorrow to discuss my case. I keep thinking that if I expect the worst then anything less than that is good, but my brain doesn’t want to accept that thought. I can’t even be angry because what’s the point? It’s already got me, I just need to know if I can fight it or not x

Thanks Janie, all your comments are so encouraging, which just makes me cry even more, hoping that I’ll be in the same situation.
You all give so much hope to us newbies ?
You’re all inspiration to me x

Hi Fimillan I have a friend who had grade 3 invasive ductal this time last year she has had her lumpectomy and her treatment I met with her after I was diagnosed she is doing great a very sporty person who’s a very keen hockey player and she’s playing away. So keep positive it’s not all bad news good luck and look forward to hearing how you get on ?

Hi Fiona
Just wanted to say we are thinking about you for tomorrow. Do let us know how you get on. Remember, it is easier to bear once you know and have a treatment plan.

Evening all
Is it wrong to say I’m so relieved that I only have primary breast cancer?
I was so scared this morning before my appointment, I was convinced it would be bad news, that it had spread and was terminal.
But the news was good ? Bone scan clear, CT scan showed a couple of problems, one of which was potential lymph problem in my neck/chest but ultrasound showed it was just fatty tissue. Other issue is potentially fibroids in my womb. So consultant confirmed it was primary ? yay! Meeting with oncologist on Thursday and start chemo shortly after. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted and I have a life again ? so so pleased.

That’s brill, Fil…& definitely not wrong at all!!
Fortunately, as bc gets picked up earlier it is unsual for it to have gone anywhere else when diagnosed, but inevitably, the anxiety monster bites when going through this.
Even though we wouldn’t think so beforehand, it is a relief when the treatment plan is confirmed.
Onwards & upwards!
ann x

Hi Fiona
I am so relieved!!! I was thinking of you so much yesterday. This will all be a distant memory one day.
Best wishes

Hello Fiona,

Glad your appointment went well and you are feeling more positive about things. Hope you have a lovely weekend away at your family celebration ?
All the best, ? X

I saw the oncologist yesterday, chemo starts on 26 Oct. I’ve got to have an MRI and clip fitted first though. She did confirm it’s triple negative. I never know what’s bad or really bad. I’ve accepted that I have BC, but it was good to hear it’s not terminal. However Humphrey is playing up today, feels a bit different, more prominent. I’m hoping it’s because I’m due a period in about 5 days time but any words of wisdom would be much appreciated ? Fiona

Hi Fi,
Well, you’re further down the road now & have a plan to get Humphrey dealt with, so that’s good. It wont get much bigger within a newly diagnosed time frame, it’s just because we tend to become hyper aware after diagnosis.
I did not have a TN diagnosis, but from what I’ve seen here, it generally responds well to chemo.
ann x