Newly diagnosed with BC - North London

Hi there everyone,

I was diagnosed with BC left side on 19th April. Due to have WLE Lumpectomy and SNB on 18th of May. Mri was all clear to lump only and not detected anywhere else,so Surgeon said this is good news. Breast nurse said that lump is a grade 2 in situ and that the operation was straight forward. I will have to have rads but no mention of chemo at this stage, unless they find anything further, although consultant has said that they are not expecting to find anything else. I am trying to stay positive and strong but I am just so scared. Every ache, pain, I think is related and then I end up catastrophising, which makes my ache and pains worse. My breast nurse assures me that everyone feels like this at this stage. I find I have no control, I burst into tears at the drop of a hat, which can be embarrassing, especially if you are out doing your shopping at tescos!!! I have been separated for nearly two years and live on my own, which I find very hard as I have no one to share this with when I get home and when I am lying in bed scared to turn the light off. Does any one else have these fears? Is there anyone living in North London (Finchley/Barnet) area? Could really do with some support and advice from any one who is feeling or has felt the same. Thanks for listening Debbiexx

Hi Dew Drop

Although I was dignosed in June 2007, I still remember very vividly how I felt from finding the lump and then going through the journey of treatment, finishing treatment, further surgery as preventative treatment and reconstruction. I really feel for you and your worries - all of which most of us go through and is normal in the circumstances. I do live pretty closeby to you so if you’d like to chat more/meet up I am happy to do so. I am not driving right now but hoping that I will soon due to my latest surgery.

Hugs
Ruby xx

Hi Debbie,
Honestly we have all had the same experiences with regards to how you feel, every ache, every pain, brings that terrible fear it has spread. But you have been told your mri was clear, so that must have been ‘good’ news for you. You will be very emotional, it is a very emotional time for you.
Probably the worst for you at the moment is being by yourself, have you family and friends close by?
What hospital are you under, l am under Chase Farm in Enfield, there is a good support group in Enfield, so l am sure you must have one in your area, have you spoken to your breast care nurse about a support group.
You will get lots of support from the ladies on this site, so don’t bottle it up, there is always someone who will give you an answer to any questions you may have. I am sure at the moment lots of things are going through your mind, but you will be told lots of times…One step at a time, from all these lovely ladies.
There is a helpline here, so if we can’t answer your questions, l am sure they can.
Take Care,
Sandra xxx

Hi Debbie

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will continue to receive further support from other members.

I understand that this is a very difficult time for you, so if you think you might find it helpful to talk, please feel free to give the helpline a ring. The number is 0808 800 6000, they’re open at 9am tomorrow.

I have also given here a link to our resources pack which is full of lots of information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/a-diagnosis-of-breast-cancer/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/

It can be ordered via the website.

Hope you find this information useful.

Kind regards.

Louise
Facilitator

HI, Debbie

I was diagnosed 10 March, had to have Bone, CT & MRI. Whilst waiting for the results in my mind “It” had spread everywhere. Had my pre-op checks on 19April (my 62 nd Birthday!) results of scans were clear, so great relief. I understand your worries & fears. I live in greater Manchester but am lucky to have a drop in centre run by Mc millan nurses based at the hospital. everyone there so helpful & supportive. I feel sure there should be similar in your area.
I had a mastectomy on 23 April and go to clinic next Wed. to discuss my treatment
Carol

Hi there to everyone and thank you for all your kind comments and good wishes. I went to see my support group mcmillan nurse last week which is attached to the hospital which I am under, which is Barnet hospital. She was very understanding and so helpful and supportive. She gave me a programme of all the activities and drop in times and I intend to go next Thursday evening, as I am still working at the moment. I don’t have any family close by but I do have an Aunt and a cousin in Kent, which I went to stay with a couple of weekends ago and I intend to stay again once I have had my op. The women I work with have just been so good and supportive and kind and caring, they are more like my family than just the people I work with. I do have two sisters and a brother but they live in New Zealand and are not able to come over. Did have a boyfriend, early stages. We were getting on great and spent may bank holiday weekend together. We spoke on the Tuesday,still all fine, then on Wednesday I got a text from him, completely out of the blue, saying that he could not offer me any long term commitment and he thought it best if we cool it. Talk about bad timing!!! You are right about the emotions, just cant control them at the moment, its really weird, one minute you can be laughing about something and then reality hits and you realize that things for you are not quite normal at the moment and you don’t feel you can laugh, so you stop and cry instead. I think I will feel better once I have had my op and get the results back as I am still worried that this could have spread, even though MRI of both breasts and consultant said no other cancer detected apart from initial lump. Thanks for listening everyone and it does help a lot to get all this stuff out. Debbie xoxo

Hi Debbie,
Pleased you are in contact with the support group, you will get to know others in a similar situation to you. Also Barnet hospital, l had my first lumpectomy there, Aspen ward, (staff are wonderful) probably where you are going, l met two other ladies in there that were going through the same, and we still keep in touch. So there is a lot of help out there.
Well good job the ex has gone now! support that like you do not need!!
Sorry you have no close family near by, but good you can go to your Aunts after your operation. And you have the support of the people that you work with, so hey, already you have a lot of support, not forgetting us of course!
Let your emotions come and go as they will, and yes you will feel better when you know what you are dealing with!
Keep posting!

Hi there Sandra4. Thank you so much for all your positive and encouraging comments. Its not nice to know that there are others, such as yourself out there, for I would not wish this on my worst enemy but it is comforting to know that there are others out there such as yourself who know what it feels like to be in this situation. I suppose I am just feeling sorry for my self at the moment, and feeling low, plus I have picked up a rather nasty diarrhea and vomiting bug since early Friday morning, and although I am feeling better I still feel yuk!!! but hopefully I will start to feel much better from now on. I need to give myself a good talking to and get back on track, although I do agree with you that you do have to let your emotions ebb and flow but I need to try and not end up with a tsunami of emotions Lol!!! I am usually such a strong person and have been through a lot over the years, which has made me even stronger,its funny how you can be strong for the other people that you love in your life, but not necessarily for yourself!!!. So thank you for making me feel like I am not alone in this very frightening journey it means so much.

Take care Debbie xx

Hello debbie,
I am having the same op as you on Wed 12th and it is rather scary. I am trying to keep positive and will be glad when this first stage is over and then I can find out what happens next!I have been told I will be having rads in a few weeks time and then a long course of tablets, if it gets no worse than that it will be great but I can’t tell for sure at this stage. We just need to take things one day at a time and see how it goes.
I’m glad to hear you have got good support from your Auntie and friends, but you can do without the partner if thats his attitude!
I just started coming on this website last week but already I feel that the ladies on here know what is going on in your head and are very supportive of eachother, they are a great bunch of people many of whom have been travelling this journey for quite a long time, their helpful comments are invaluable. I think we could get a lot of support from eachother on here, some of which I am already getting.
Keep in touch and best wishes,

Isabellexxx

Hi Debbie,
Good luck for tommorow, hope all goes well.
I had my op, same as yours last Tuesday and it was much easier than I had expected, you get all sorts of things going through your mind at a time like this. The Doctors and Nurses were great and help you every step of the way, they are so kind and reassuring that they make everyone feel special and well cared for, at least mine at Carlisle did. Just put your faith in them and they will help you through each step, they are good at it! Thinking of you
Best Wishes

Isabelle xxx

Hi Debbie,
Wishing you well for your op tomorrow, hope you have good ‘bed’ mates in your ward, if you are in Aspen Ward the staff are wonderful, you will have no complaints!
I had a mastectomy at Chase Farm last week and have lots of complaints, but that isn’t for now. So be kind to yourself, sounds promising if they are saying no chemo? So everything crossed for that.
Lots of Hugs
Sandra xxx

Hi, Debbie,
I was diagnosed in July 2007, and remember how alone and isolated I felt even though I had friends and family.
Dont know if you have heard of Cherry Lodge cancer care centre in Union Street Barnet, Fiona a McMillian nurse sees you for brief meeting, then you can go for treatments, massage, Reiki etc. I had acupuncture there all through my chemo to prevent sickness and I did not have to take anti sickness tablets until I had Taxotere.
Google search Cherry Lodge and you will find a very friendly group of people, I used to go on a Tues morning for drop in and they do a Thurs eve as well.
It so helped me to feel cared about and supported on here and there by people who really understand and have gone through or are going throught the same.
I really appreciated all their help so I have been working as a volunteer in their charity shop in Barnet High Street to give something back.
I loved it so varied and a good team but I am now back at work so only able to help them out in Half terms etc. But I met some great people there and am going out to the mind, body and spirit exhibition in London tomorrow with someone I met there.
Hope you find your support group helpful, although it can be odd when you first go, if it does not settle down give Cherry Lodge a try.
Message back if you want further details
Take care
Dawn x