Hello
On Tuesday i found out that i have recurrences of my breast cancer (treated in 2019) in 2 lymph nodes and secondaries in a rib and in my spine.
I’m reeling- totally flattened by waves of grief and terror. I really want to get to accept this and get on with really living my life, not feeling terrified, or crying all the day!!! but i dont quite know how to get to that point.
I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance and advice about how to get through this first step.
I’ve not yet heard from oncology about treatment plan yet- hopefully that will be next week. Does that help to move forward?
Thank you xxx
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Welcome to the forum @jojo9 . I’m so sorry you are having such a difficult time , I’m sure there others on the forum who can give you some hope and re-assurance and hopefully they will be along soon to comment . Best wishes Jill
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Hi jojo9,
I am newly diagnosed metastatic denovo. It has been a long wait to get to the treatment plan and I started chemo last week. By the weekend fatigue had hit alongside minute by minute fear. I posted here for the first time on Monday looking very much for the kind of advice and support you are looking for. Maybe read that thread, there are words of support in there for you.
Monday and Tuesday were the worst days and I felt then what I think you are describing. On Tuesday I had my first counselling session with a cancer support charity. The counsellor was an older woman whose first career was as an oncologist nurse. I felt in such good hands.
On Wednesday after dropping the kids to school I cried in the car in a way I think I have never cried before. I went with and felt better afterwards. I had a better rest of the day.
Today was a much, much, much better day.
I don’t think it is humanly possible to feel the kind of fear I was feeling, which I think might be similar to what you are feeling, ongoing. The body has a way of protecting us.
My advice, go with the waves as they come and know they can’t stay forever.
Sending you kind thoughts,
C
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Hi jojo9, I completely understand how you feel I was diagnosed in June with primary breast and secondary in my spine I had no idea I had either of these the only reason it was found was because I had excruciating pain in my shoulders and they sent me for an MRI which is when I found out, it was a complete shock
I had my appointment with the breast specialist in the hospital who talked me through everything she was fabulous and told me that because my cancer was oestrogen positive and HERT negative I would probably be on tablets and this would treat both cancers I am not curable but treatable. I went to see the oncologist a few weeks later who prescribed me Letrozole, Abemaciclib and a bone strenthening injection and so far so good I have had no major side effects. It was hard at first but this forum has filled me with optimism, we can live a happy and long life with the medications and treatments that they have and will keep coming up with over the years so we have to stay positive
Once you get your treatment plan it will be easier and we are all here for each other stay strong sending hugs and love
Please let us know how you get on, good luck
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Hi jojo9.
I was diagnosed with secondary l8 months ago.
Its been hard getting my head around it but take each day as it comes.
I had radiotherapy for spine and rib which has cleared it but its also in my hip which i have tablets to control.
I have regular checkups and scans.
I go with the mantra, i have cancer, it doesnt have me.
Once you get a treatment plan things do settle down.
Sending lots of love xx
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Thank you everyone for such kind messages. I’ve had a look through the forum and am inspired by the stories, that there is hope amongst all the rotten stuff.
Sending you all a hug!
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Hi Jojo and welcome to the forum, joining a group that nobody wants to be in but here we all are. I was misdiagnosed for a year and basically dismissed. Then the secondaries were found in the sternum and chest wall. This was in 2023 and I have been on Palbociclib, Denosumab and Letrazole for about 20 months now. I was in shock for many months and am still scared to go away for more than a few days. I have also cried a lot (not so much at the beginning) but am managing the treatment and hoping it continues to work. I have read on this forum that some people have been on the same treatment for many years so have to hope for the best. I really do wish you all the best and sending you virtual hugs. xxx
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Hi
Cant help with your diagnosis but please know that the there will be treatments and you’re going through shock and anger right now which is absolutely normal
If you need to talk before your next appointment call the nurses on here, go to a maggies centte if you have one or contact MacMillan for their free counselling support
Huge hugs 
xx
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Hi, welcome to a forum you don’t really want to be part of. I was diagnosed in March with cancer in the breast, lung, sternum and femur. It started simply with a persistent cough. Like you I was in deep shock and completely shattered, but once a treatment plan is in place it becomes not necessarily easier, but something to focus on and the oncologists will tell you that people receiving these treatments have in many, many cases, survived for many years. I still have days when life is difficult and have the occasional meltdown, but try to live as normally as possible and make plans to go out and meet friends as I would have done before my new ‘normal’. It’s hard but you will cope and deal with life once you get a treatment plan in place. Sending you big hugs and positive thoughts x.
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Hi @jojo9
I am sorry you find yourself here. My metastasis was found more quickly - picked up on a scan I had for other reasons when I was still having adjuvant chemo for my primary cancer in 2022. It was an awful shock at the time and I really feared a rapid decline. I have been stage 4 for over 2 years with one of the hardest types to treat (triple negative). I am doing well, currently in remission following immunotherapy. So please hold onto hope. Many of us do very well for a long time, and yes, it does settle into normality when you start treatment.
All the best.
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