I have started this new thread for new user Melissa,
Jo, Facilitator
hiya im new to this too and hope im doin this rite , i was diagnosed on the 17th november with a stage 2 grade 3 invasive ductal breast cancer and go in for a masectomy on the 18th december . i was absolutely terrified and so upset when i heard but now im ready to fight this . i have a great support network with family and friends and my adopted sister has been my backbone . but people sometimes look at me as if i should be really upset and down and im not . yes i dont want cancer but my consultant is going to do everything she can to help me beat this and beat it i will . although my breast care nurses are fabulous and have been a great help i sometimes feel that they think i shouldnt be so happy . i know once upon a time breast cancer was something to be terrified of but with all the new technology and medicinal advances its not once the life threatening illness it once was . i dont want to be sitting around being depressed i want to get on and enjoy my life god forbid it does end early . i am only 38 and have a lot of life in me yet but sometimes i feel i shouldnt feel that way . the wk before i was diagnosed and was told it was suspicious they may as well of told me it was cancer then because it felt like my world ended and i didnt know if i was going to cope . by the time i had my diagnosis i had looked up all my options and had actually come to the conclusion that it couldnt be nothin else so when i got the diagnosis i had already dealt with it and coming to terms with it . of course actually hearing it was a shock and i did have a cry but it was my husband and children that were devastated and i was the one being strong for them .i would love to hear back from you because it looks like we are going to be going through this all at the same time . and i know families are brilliant at supposrt but i dont think anyone will truly understand unless they are going through it too.
anyway bye for now , and i hope to see your reply soon .
melissa
My name is Carole, I was diagnosed with BC four days ago, I am 34 yrs old and I have 3 children 13, 8, and 4. Mine started with a bleed from the right nipple, I went to the doctor who gave me antibiotics, it was only after 3 weeks that he refered me to the breast clinic. Anyway I am not sure what stage mine is at as my surgeon has said that he won’t know until I have the op. I have to have a masectomy and I go in next Friday 19th December (day after my birthday). I am very much like you, I feel absolutely fine, not sure whether I am really ok, or in denial, but if it is getting me through this week and next and I break down On Friday when I go in, then thats fine aswell. I had a feeling it was something serious so when I was told it was BC I was not shocked, what shocked me was being told I had to have a masectomy. I felt like my whole world had just fallen apart. But 4 days on, I am ok, I have great freinds, great family, wonderful husband and I know they are all there for me. I will be fine, you will be fine. I have only been on this site for about 3 weeks, and I can tell you, everyone on here is absolutely remarkable, there are so many words of encouragement, great advice, and just the fact that you can communicate with others who have been there. You may have your ups and downs, but you have a strong support network and I am sure you will be well looked after.
hi melissa and carole
i am so sorry you have had to join us and are just starting on the long journey ahead. You both seem so positive, and believe me, that is the way you need to be, and it will go a long way in helping you through this ordeal. I had a grade 3, 4cm lump, diagnosed in April 08, and this week i finish my treatment. You will find a great deal of support from the girls on this site, and make some good friends along the way.
I wish you both good luck with your ops, and hope all goes well for you, and that you come through this in the same way as I did and many of the other girls here.
sending you best wishes and big hugs
deb xx
I am newly diagnosed too - and going in for mastectomy and recon on Tuesday. At this stage though I only know it is a grade one 5cm tumor - Invasive ductal carcinoma. with positive senitnal node. I was told they cannot tell stage until after surgery - as need to send results to pathology… interesting that you know your stage in advance…
It is scary - and particularly at this time of year.
I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 2 over 4 years ago, and am doing fine. I was fairly positive (or so people said) - of course I had bad days and moments, but mostly just tried to plough on and cram in as many good/fun days as I could between treatment. I think it depends on the kind of person you are, and how badly you are affected physically (I felt ok most of the time).It didn’t mean I wasn’t aware of how serious the situation was, and deep down I was very, very scared, it just didn’t help me to sit at home feeling glum, it felt better to be proactive.
So I suggest you just ‘go with the flow’ of how you feel and dont’ think you ought to be more/less happy, its a cliche but one day at a time seems to work.
hi carole im really shocked to hear your story . i found my lump myself bbecause ever since kylie was diagnosed i have been very proactive in checking my breast . im sorry to hear you have to go in on your birthday but once its done you can have your birthday a bot later . my family have bought christmas early this year to tom [sat] so i get 2 christmases and maybe youshould get your family to do that to cause it has helped me to think more positive about the oncoming approach of christmas and not being able to enjoy it . i have 4 children , 21 , 15 , 11 and 8 and they are coping quite well . ask your breast care nurse for the new publication for your children , its called mummys lump and my 8yr old loves it and it has helped her alot.its also free which cant be bad lol .but yes it sounds like we both have a good positive attitude and im a certain we will both be fine .it was great to hear your story please keep in touch as we going to be going through this together and maybe we can help each other deal with what is to come .
melissa
hi debs thanx for your words of encouragement and i hope all goes well with you . my lump has gone form 2-3cm when i first went to the doctor to 4-5 cm so its spread quite quckly in a matter of weeks which is a scary thought . im just glad i found it when i did and done something about it straight away . and for me thats all down to kylie minogue . because of her i become more breast proactive.
melissa
hi brightlight
im sorry to hear but hey it looks like theres a few of us going through this at the same time . my op was actually booked for tuesday but im now having it on thursday with my own consultant so i am pleased about that .as for you not knowing the stage of your bc , they done a biopsy when they done my scan and got the results from that .
but yes it is scary but unfortunately i have got to wait a year for recon so have a long year ahead of me .
hi sarah
thanx for your comments and i think i will do wha you say and go with the flow !!! lol
im sure im going to have my ups and downs and i am very scared but i cant sit around being depressed i need to get on and enjoy my life .
i cant believe how may positive responses i have had and i am so grateful for all your words of encouragement.
thanx
melissa
Hi, can I join you? I’m having my mastectomy and axillary clearance on Tues 16th and out next day. My youngest children are 15, 10, 8 & 4. I too am very positive at the moment, but went through the depths of despair while waiting for CT & bone scan results, which thankfully were clear. I dont know size or stage of cancer, but know it’s grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma.
I had my long hair cut to shoulder length, with a fringe(1st time in my life!) and my wig styled exactly the same so that I’m prepared for the chemo fall-out! I’m not brave enough to appear in public wearing only a scarf.
My main worry at the moment is avoiding all the coughs & colds around, I don’t want my op cancelled!
Good Luck to all of us having surgery in run up to Christmas.
Hi can I join too? It’s such a horrible shock when diagnosed, can it really be happening?? That was 6 weeks ago for me and just recovering from surgery. Don’t know what the next step is until after Christmans. But I’m finding that taking a day at a time is very important and any negative thoughts I push away, as they are not going to help my recovery.
Good luck to all of you having surgery before Christmas. I couldn’t complain about the service I was given.
Yes I totally agree, we will keep in touch , as with everybody else on this site, just typing my feelings and having great feedback is really helping me. I intend to be really positive about this. The publication sounds really good, I am sure that will help. Muv70 was talking about coughs and colds, well my whole family have come down with it, so I am just praying I will be fine, I am ready for this op, I don’t want it postponed. Speaking of lumps getting bigger, mine is, thought it was my imagination.
Muv70, all the best for Tuesday I will be thinking of you,
hi muv 70 and leadie you are both welcome to join our discussion . all are welcome here.
muv 70 me and carole both avoiding colds , almost an impossibility at this time of year , but just want op over and done with . and good luck with your op .
leadie please keep us updated on your situation and keep being positive.
carole i to have found discussing my feelings with ladies going through the same situation is already helping . and yes definetly trying to keep away from all the bugs.i to am ready for this op and want it done . and yes i to thought my lump getting bigger was my imagination until they told me at the hospital it had got bigger .
if i dont get chnace to be on here before i go for my op i hope everybody all the best.
hi guys just wanted to say im back at home now and im healing well from the masetomy . i hope you guys are ok and are doing well to .i just want to let you know that asda do bras with the pockets for £6 , they are not fancy but are ideal for everyday wear and at that price can afford to buy a few . i know they go up to an e cup but not sure what after that.they are also very comfy and at a time like this comfy is what we want .
thanx mole and dont worry im making sure i take it easy. i have a great family network and they will soon tell me to slow down lol .
and yes very happy to be home.
as for asda i couldnt believe it i was so proud that i found them , even my breast care nurse didnt know and now everyone knows lol .