i was diagnosed last thursday and have just found this web site. i think it is a great idea and i hope to make lots of friends here and to have someone to talk to now and again when i need some extra support. i have my operation next monday, they are just taking the lump and some lymph nodes. then i have to wait for the results. what happens next depends on the results. chemo and radiotherapy or just the radiotherapy.
I am 45 i have a husband and four children. 26, 22, 14 and 11. my eldest two know all the details but I cant bring myself to tell the younger two the whole story, they know i have a lump and i am getting it removed but that is as far as it goes. I just cant bring myself to say the word Cancer to them. it is such a potent word. has anyone had the same thing.
Hi!
I can understand your reluctance to tell the youngest two everything and maybe for the moment you don’t need to. I had a lump removed last June (08) and then 5 weeks of radiotherapy in August and did not need chemo. I was only in hospital overnight for the surgery and very quickly recovered. I was lucky my surgeon got clear margins and there was no spread to the lymph nodes. I was able to drive myself every day for the rads and didn’t find it a big problem - so if you’re lucky you might not have too much to disrupt your life and your younger childrens lives won’t be too affected by it all. One of my doctor’s said to me “Cancer - it’s only a word and not a death sentence!” Of course for some people it is but so much more can be done now. My very best wishes to you.
Jo i completely understand, my mind wasn’t quite what it should be. thankyou
Redders you are quite right i will just leave it for now and deal with that obstacle when and if it arises. i found it quite consoling that you were able to drive yourself to and from the rads everyday as i thought i would have to have someone take me. my trip would be about 100 miles round trip so maybe that would be stretching it, how far did you have to go. my rad would be in Belfast which is 50 miles from home but my eldest daughter lives in Belfast so i could stay with her now and then which would be good. are you all clear now and how long in total was it from you were first diagnosed until you were given the all clear. sorry for so many questions. thnakyou for talking to me.
hi - i was diagnosed wed 7th - 2 wks tomorrow and they are doing a lumpectomy and some nodes too on 28th so next wed - my kids are 10 and nearly 16, I’m 43, we told the kids as my daughter is such a worrier and would have sussed something out in no time I think - at least they know the basics which might be enough for now? I ordered the leaflet talking to your kids about breast cancer and it was useful…it is such a horrible word I know…mary x
mary i think i will just leave it until i get the results of my surgery which i am having next monday. i was diagnosed on thursday and i see the surgeon this friday and then op on monday. i feel so glad that everything is moving on as quickly as possible although the wait for the results will probably feel twice as long as it is. are you having radiotherapy or has that not been decided yet. thankyou for your views on thid
Hi
I was diagnosed on 17 December, had lumpectomy and node clearance on 22 December and am still recovering from that, although improving daily. Initially there was talk of me just having rads post surgery, but then I was told that given my age it was more than likely I’d have chemo too just as belt & braces. Throw everything at it to make sure it doesn’t come back! There were clear margins on my lump and no node spread, but, as expected, I am to have chemo then rads due to the size of the lump (35mm) and my age.
I’m 41, married, and have 3 children aged 9 and 6 (twins). At first we told them just that mummy had a lump that had to be removed. I was only in hospital overnight and came out the day before Christmas Eve so they were instantly into the excitement of Christmas as soon as I was home. Then we said I’d have to have some strong medicine to make sure the lump doesn’t come back which might make me a bit poorly and my hair might fall out. They are vaguely familiar with it all because my husband’s sister had breast cancer 2 years ago (all clear now!) so they saw her with no hair etc. The twins (boys) are fairly oblivious to the whole thing and we have not mentioned the “c” word to them as, to be honest, I think it would mean very little to them. My daughter, at 9, is more clued up and asked me straight out last week if I had cancer. I told her that I did and she changed the subject and the conversation moved on. It’s hard to know what’s going on in her head, as at the weekend we were in the car when the subject of Jade Goody only having a 40% chance of survival and leaving her little boys etc came up on the radio. Maddie asked us to switch it off and said she didn’t want to hear about people’s mummys dying of cancer. We explained that I have a different sort and that I’m going to be just fine and she seemed reassured, but we’ll keep an eye on her.
How much you tell them might also depend on whether or not you have friends who are parents of their school friends as their friends might hear you talked about in their own homes and say something to your own children in the playground etc. We asked friends to be careful what they said in front of their children and also have spoken to the school so that they know what’s going on in case of any playground talk etc.
It’s a sensitive subject for certain and I’m sorry you are having to face dealing with it at all. I hope your op goes well and your results are good.
Gennie x
Ardmuire, That is very quick to be diagnozed & then your op, i was diagnozed 1 month age & I still haven’t had a date for an op. Driving me up the wall.Let us know how it goes, good luck.
This is strange cos i jus posted on your page and came back to my own to find you had posted on here. my name is martina by the way. you have been waiting an awful long time and i find that so unacceptable, why is taking so long is there a long waiting list or are they waiting on test. i it is hard enough to deal with having cancer without having it dragged on like they are doing with you. i am no expert i only came on this site yesterday but your story had really touched me cos getting things done so quickly for me has really helped. i know that i am moving forward that i am starting my journey whereas you seem to be left up in the air, god i hope i am not making things worse by saying all this. i really just want you to know that myself and I’m sure everyone reading this are with you 100%. hopefully that is of some help to you.
Hi Ardmhuire
You’re getting the speedy treatment like I did! It is a big help. The waiting is by far the worst part. Magel, keep hanging in there.
caroled hi you are the story teller, i have been reading other pages and have come across your writing, u are really good, do you think of the stuff before you write it or does it just come as you write. i have only read one “episode” but it was very well written. god i sound like an expert but i do like to read and i know that i will read your book when you write it. yes you will.
anyway lets hope everything else goes as quick.
Life is a fragile flower
Warmth from the sun.
The love that shines down
from those who treasure us.
Deep fragile roots.
The golden threads
that hold us in their arms.
Bright rainbow petals.
Our hearts encompassed by love
Each one separate but solid.
Strong tenuous stem.
Our earthly lives
built delicately day by day.
Created from aspiration.
Nourished by love.
Watered by tears of sorrow and joy.
Rooted firmly in tenderness
Of loved ones devotion.
Throughout its existence
That flower may bow.
But with loving consideration
will once again blossom.
Had to post this on my own thread as well.
That’s lovely Ardhmuire. As for my stuff, I’m just making it up as I go along inspired by others and the journey we’re all on. Definitely not a writer! :0)
Ardhmuire
yes the waiting is awful, my life seems to be on hold, can’t plan anything & I have a busy restuarant to run. Luckily my daughter & son in law are here so they are gradually taking over. I live in Spain so I don’t know wether that is affecting the time factor. Through this site I have been in contact with Sussana whom strangely enough lives not far from me here in Spain & has the same Dr, how’s that for coincidence!! We are meeting up & she will fill me in with how it all operates over here, a big relief for me.
Liked your poems, I’m a writer & have had a book published & the strange thing is I am half way through my next one, it is half biographical & half fiction but the weird thing is I started it last year LONG LONG before I was diagnosed, & it starts off with me dying of cancer but I was really really old & wealthy (which I’m not)!!! At least I will be able to use a lot of the medical terms I am learning since starting this journey, give it a bit of authenticity!!!
A friend has just given me an article she cut out from the mail on Sunday supplement (body & soul) where a young mum was given a breast reconstruction using her tummy skin & fat, so she got a tummy tuck & new perky boobs all on the NHS (I knew there would be something positive if I looked hard enough)!!! There is a free DVD about breast reconstruction available.
Take care Magel xx
Visit breastreconstructionforlife.org.uk. I will put this on a new post
Hope all goes well big hugs etc & that goes for anyone else reading this. xx
Hi Magal
Sorry to jump on this thread but was wondering what hospital you are being treated at Magel???
My Mum in Spain too…near Marbella.
Sam
Hi Sam
I live in the mountains of El Chorro about 45 mins from Marbella, I am being treated in Clinico Malaga. I have a restaurant La Garganta in El Chorro, it’s very pretty & a good restuarant, has your mum heard of El Chorro? What is happening with you.?
Maggie x
hi all
had my op yesterday and home today hows that for service. feel fine a bit sore and tired but thats to be expected.
next thing is the results and decision on treatment. for now though just concentrating on getting better and enjoying being pampered. thankyou all for your support before i went in. i am so glad to be back on her with another bit of the journey over. you guys are great
me again jus wanted to ask did anyone here get away with jus surgery an radiotherapy - no chemo. could i be so lucky
hi martina - so glad you’re home and have it over you - thought they were doing it on monday next - great service in N. I (I’m from there originally - Co Tyrone) mary x
ps doc said to be maybe just lump & rads so ???
Hi,
The plan for me is surgery, radiotherapy and tamoxifen - no chemo. I’ve had the surgery, started the tamoxifen and will start rads next month. The plan may change if the HER2 result comes back positive, but I’ve been told that although it is possible it isn’t likely.
Eliza xx
Welcome home Martina. Hopefully be me nex week but the Spanish NHS don’t tell you anything!!!