Hi everybody, I’m a 51 year old ex nurse with a long family history of bc, 4 blood relatives, including my daughter, who was diagnosed aged 23, and is now in her 5th year of Tamoxifen following pre surgery chemo, and rad.
I was called for my first mammogram on 14th Dec, and then 3 days later received the call back asking me to attend the BCC on 23rd Dec. I knew straight away that it wasn’t looking good, so I started looking into the practicalities of having bc. While my friends were reassuring me that 80% of call backs were negative, I was looking into whether I was entitled to days off work for treatments, appointments etc. it was only on the day before the appointment, when I was on my own, did I start to wobble, and knocking a coffee over near my laptop while working reduced me to a snivelling mess.
When I arrived, I was taken straight into the ultra sound room. The radiologist introduced himself, then pointed at the screen and said “and this is your tumour!” After scanning me, he then confirmed that he was 90% sure that it was malignant, and took 2 core biopsies, and he asked me if I would like to see them. As he held the specimens up, I looked straight at it and said " You can f*** off, I have no room for you in my life!" We don’t know what grade it is yet, but we know it’s there, I’ve met it!
When I told my daughter, her reaction was that everything happens for a reason, as if she hadn’t been through it herself successfully, she would have been sobbing on the floor hearing that I had cancer. But she knows that the thought of all the treatments and appointments are a lot worse than the actual event, and that as long as you stay positive, you can get through. As she kissed me goodbye this evening, she whispered in my ear “We’ve got cancer, it hasn’t got us!”
I am going to take that thought into the appointment tomorrow and face this head on! I have the trip of a lifetime to New York booked on 4th March for my amazing partners 60th birthday, and the short term lodger that I have hosted over Christmas will not ruin that!
I know that I have a long journey ahead,and I will have many different emotions on the way. I haven’t cried yet, but I’m sure that will come tomorrow when the reality hits home but I am putting all my energy into beating this, I have a wonderful network of family and friends who are with me and I am putting all my faith into the highly trained team that are about to start on this journey with me. Cancer has no chance against us lot!
Positive Mental Attitude may not cure it, but it will help you control it rather than it controlling you!
My thoughts are with everyone waiting callback appointments, results or treatments xXx
