Dear Tropic_al
You are certainly not alone and are certainly acting normally. From everything I’ve read on this forum, all the emotions you describe are common with breast cancer, especially those of us newly diagnosed. We are all different and act differently at different times, but similar doubts and fears go around in all of us at some time. I also think it takes a great deal of strength to acknowledge how you are feeling.
It was Wed 28th Mar the surgeon confirmed I had an invasive ductal carcinoma grade 3, oestrogen positive, 8/8. I’m due for a wide local excision lumpectomy on Tue 24 Apr with sentinel node biopsy and intra operative assessment of the lymph nodes. So the tumour will be removed together with a clear margin, and any lymph nodes found to be affected will be removed at the same time.
There is so much information given to you within a short space of time, that I found it very difficult to make the decision between mastectomy and lumpectomy. So when I saw the surgeon last Thursday to talk through the procedure I said I wasn’t sure what they were advising me to have. Without hesitation, she said ‘We advise patients to have a lumpectomy unless the tumour is so large it has spread around the breast, or unless the breast is so small the tumour takes up a large proportion of it.’ She drew a little diagram to show how it would be done and how a clear margin would be removed.
The surgeon also explained that there was only a slight risk that I would need to go back for further surgery if insufficient tissue was removed the first time. The only guide they have during surgery is 2D in the form of an Xray taken during the operation and their own observations, so it will be necessary to wait for lab results before confirming that all the cancerous tissue has been removed. Even so, she was confident there was only a slight risk of needing further surgery. She is a very experienced consultant and assured me it is a straightforward operation.
Different hospital units and different surgeons are likely to have different views, so what has applied to me might not be what you are advised, but I do think it’s worth being frank with your surgeon and asking them what they advise. If they’re female, you could ask them what they would choose in your situation, and if male what they would advise their wife to have.
Everyone I have spoken to in the Breast Cancer Unit, including two surgeons, has said that a mastectomy is no greater guarantee than a lumpectomy is that the cancer won’t come back. Some women feel more confident with a mastectomy, but this is more a psychological reassurance than a scientific one.
Do talk it through with your surgeon and your cancer nurse.
Please come back to us and do try to reassure yourself that whatever you feel is perfectly reasonable. Strength is the ability to acknowledge weakness and still carry on.
. You’re not alone xxx