7 years ago, I was 34 with 2 kids under 5, and had lumpectomy, snb, radiotherapy, tamoxifen, zoladex.
A year later had an oopherectomy and exemestane.
Last year had wire guided lumpectomy as biopsy couldnt confirm if cancer back, it was, so 6 weeks later had single mastectomy without recon, node clearance, letrozole. Took 4 months for the incision to close due to cellultits caused from damaged skin from previous rads.
Now awaiting genetic testing result. Also now on Alendronia Acid due to osteopenia from hormone treatment.
My problem is this… I find that I cant stand listening to others moan about trivial things, like having a cold etc. I hate being around other women my age, like at school for example, as they have no idea what its really like to be me…side effects from tablets, cording, chest tighness and soreness, still cant sleep on that side, seeing myself undressed at 41 with one one breast, the worry of it coming back, etc. I am so intolerant of others and think they should be grateful theyve got 2 breasts! I think recon would be a problem for me due to probs Ive had healing before from rads damage. Also, couldnt do the recovery time with the age the kids r at the moment. Hate my prosthesis, dreading summer when I cant hide under a coat.
Ive lost friends who avoid u when they know uve got cancer, and others who say things like “r u back to normal now?” 2 weeks after mx!!
Im grateful my cancers were found early, but hate the after effects! Only place I feel normal is in the breast unit with others like me!
I don’t post much these days, but didn’t want to not reply to you.
You are a young woman who has been though such a lot, physically and probably emotionally and I really get how you are feeling. My left breast went at 38, my kids were 5 and 18 mths at the time. I then had some botched recon, followed by a reasonable recon, but no way do I feel ‘normal’ against people of my age. Its funny you mentioning about the school mums, as I feel the same. Some of them (in fact most of them!) haven’t got a clue what I have been thorough and to be honest, people won’t unless they have been there themselves! I also go through the ‘be grateful you have two breasts thing’ too and get really envious of other women sometimes at the same time!
People do say stupid things, they don’t know what to say I guess and if they knew what it was like to lose a breast at such a young age, well they would keep their mouths firmly shut!
Just wanted to say I hear how you are feeling Lolly and feel free to msge me any time if you want.
Hi Lolly…just want to say how much i feel for you. I asnt that young (47) when i was first diagnosed and i thoight it was bad enough then. I had double mstectomy and reconstruction but still suffered with lots of pain etc (snd stil do). Since it came back.i was misdiagnosed for 5 months and didnt get any teatment for 6… i have been much worse, especially on the pyschological front. People just dont get it do they? My hair has just started to grow back and i have finishe dintravenus chemo andbecauseoutwardly i am not as ‘ill’ people seem to think i’m al ok now. i too get really narked when people moan about trivialities like colds, weight gain etc.just wanted you to know you are not on your own! x