I am nearing the end of treatment after a gruelling 18 months.
Ive always had a fairly poaitive outlook about my treatment & believed that i would get through it.
Lately though ive been feeling very anxious about other matters unrelated to cancer; safety of my family, world events etc. Has anyone else had experience of this? I feel silly speaking to my oncologist so close to the end of treatment as the worries are not cancer related.
Any tips to become a bit more rational about things?
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You are doing great and we all have these thoughts sometimes! It may be helpful to reach out to a behavioural therapist on this, they can really help!
I’ve found it helpful to write down my worries and then group them into those that are within my control (e.g. what I eat, how much I walk, how much I donate) and those outside of my control (war in Ukraine, energy crisis, inflation). We acknowledge what we are anxious about but if it is fully outside of our control, there is nothing we can do. The events won’t change whether we are worried about them or not. A good meditation then helps.
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The end of treatment can be very unsettling as a lot of people feel they need to have a team that they can contact and it appears you just have to get on with it. I am with you and find the world situation in Gaza and in the Ukraine pretty unbearable. Then there’s the USA presidential election and the prospect of two fairly decrepit candidates although I prefer Biden by a mile. I feel all these are beyond my control but they do take my mind off will I end up dead from Breast Cancer? Or Will I end up dead from the side effects of treatment for Breast Cancer? Both things indicate at some point I will end up dead, but then again I am now 68 and I was much younger only 47 when I found my first breast cancer tumour. Oncologists are a weird breed. They don’t have a chat with you about your options. They tell you what to do based on NICE guidance for each kind of breast cancer. They don’t like you to dissent and mine keeps saying relentlessly that letrozole is well tolerated. It might be well tolerated if you dont’ suffer from the side effects it can cause, which I do find pretty intolerable. I have taken this drug for 19 months and I now have high cholesterol, high blood pressure and arthragia which is stabbing pains in my knees, ankles, and lower legs. I hobble now which I didn’t do quite so much when I was a few years younger. I feel I have turned into an old age pensioner when I used to think I was a happy youngish mature person. Who was I trying to kid? I met a registrar who was the head of plastic surgery and I decided during the appointment that I was definitely not going to have any further plastic surgery. Then he sent me a copy of a letter he’d said he’d written after meeting with me who he described as a lovely woman - I strongly deny this and I think he’ wrote the letter before meeting me and that he hadn’t expected me to decide I wasn’t going to have yet another painful surgery that wasn’t going to make me any happier about having disfiguring breast reconstruction after disfiguring mastectomy or a strange looking mismatched breast after partial mastectomy that I had before in 2003. This man was some kind of Oxbridge sailor or atlantic rower, but he was also head of the breast cancer plastic surgery department. I don’t think he should write a letter that patently ignored my character. To him I was yet another old woman with breast cancer, but he described me as a pleasant lady so I knew he’d composed the letter before I met him, and I had also said very clearly that I didn’t not want any further surgery so why on earth had he written to say I was down on the plastic surgery list? It was going to involve more harvesting of tissue from my thighs so that they could use liposuction to inject fat into the areas of my chest which are now craters and bony areas where my breast was cut off. It would all have hurt like hell, and also not ever look like a matching pair so why oh why subject myself to something that would never achieve the symmetry I want? I know two breasts are never the same. if I wear clothing I can kid myself I have two breasts. In the nude no…
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I feel very anxious about my husband’s y
I feel extremely anxious about my husband’s health. Cancer has really exacerbated the feeling of not wanting to be alone. He is in perfect health-but so wasn’t I until January 2 of this year
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Thanks for the replies. It’s Gaza & Ukraine that are my main worries and any possible escalation; I’m glad I’m not the only one. Worries about extended family too, even though they are fit, healthy and safe.
I do think i need to get off of social media & away from the conspiracy theorists.
I have no worries about cancer or cancer reoccurrence at this point, just the above so reluctant to talk to oncology about it.
Will look at some meditation & have taken comfort in that im not the only one worrying about world affairs.
Thank you
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I have really felt this blog stayed on Cancer and health issues. Not sure where you live and sorry for your anxiety. That being said, why bring politics into this forum? War, nothing we can do to change something we really don’t even understand fully. We will never have all the facts. What we can control is how we approach the end of treatment and the next step. Some may pray more, some need to exercise and others should seek support from friends or counselors. I too, am closing treatment after five years and felt anxious about the next step when finally no more medicine or Oncology visits. They have been a blessing, but time to close the book on treatment. Each journey is different and I pray all finds a means of peace whichever road you take. Time to lift up others. Stay positive. It helps.
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Certainly didnt mean to offend. Just sharing my issue and looking for support. The original post spoke about world events, the replies named wars & i agreed that they were some of my biggest worries.
Never suffered from anxiety like this before so although not anxious about cancer wondered if it could be linked to the diagnosis/treatment journey Ive been on, hence asking others if they’d been in the same position
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Thank you Indygirl. I can see your point.
Seagulls
Although this forum is run by a cancer charity and most of the discussions are cancer related it is also a place to talk about how you feel moving forward in life after a cancer diagnosis - how this affects relationships ,work ,how it changes how you feel about the world in general
really. Having cancer makes you feel very vulnerable and makes you much more aware of your own mortality and those around you . I think it’s also perfectly normal to find that world events impact on you more . The feeling of vulnerability does get less acute over time but cancer certainly makes you quite wobbly for a time . BCN run moving forward courses that alot of people seem to find helpful might be worth considering if you haven’t done already . I think what you are feeling many people on the forum will relate to .
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I’ve signed up for a moving forward course not far from Tunbridge Wells (near Pembury i think) so I am hoping that will help me
Seagulls
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Thank you for your reply. Its good to hear that im noy alone in feeling this way. Will certainly look for a moving on course.
Thank you
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I think whilst you are having treatment world events can be upsetting but you’re mainly focussed on yourself and your treatment because you have to be . When that comes to an end then you’re back out in the world and it hits you again how bad it is out there . I think it’s understandable that you are feeling like this , cancer leaves you with unresolved feelings even if you are not afraid of recurrence ( that’s great by the way ) you will have been experiencing negative feelings of anger , fear and anxiety off and on for some time now and it’s hard to turn them off - maybe you’ve just found another focus for them. As others have said the Moving Forwards course may help you - it certainly helped me.
To be honest I totally understand why you are anxious and I don’t think it’s quite true that there’s nothing that we can do as individuals. You can donate to charities , sign petitions , write to MPs and support organisations that enable journalists to continue working in dangerous areas of the world to name a few. Everyone’s version of being positive is different , this is mine but I don’t let it take over my life and that’s what it all about - finding a balance , and you need to find yours .
With love
Joanne
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The anxiety can be a side effect of an aromatase inhibitor so I’d say the anxiety is a symptom and should be shared with the oncologist-regardless of the subject of the anxiety. Could be cancer recurrence, could be the state of the world, state of the planet or politics.
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Hi @Seagulls , Have just read your description of your mastectomy and feel i have found a soulmate! I also have craters and bony lumps. My chest look like it been vacuum packed! This is six months after the op. The surgeon called it one of her best pieces of work. I’d hate to see the worst ones! What gets me is all the fuss made by the plastic surgeons to create new breasts but how little effort is made to give those of us who chose to go flat anything like an aesthetically pleasing result. Rant over! At least the prosthesis inside a well fitting bra does give a good look under clothing. Love Tulip x
You may think that the anxiety isn’t related to cancer but actually it is . Your fears and worries translate into wider awareness of the the fragility of life and mortality. My anxiety comes and goes it’s currently not brilliant. Because it’s five years on I now worry will I make it to 10 …I would like not to worry any more about my health but it will probably never go away . I avoid the news because it’s never good . As a coping strategy it helps …
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Remember that the world needs sensitive people too ….
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Nice to have a sole mate especially a flowery one. I write a gardening column for the parish magazine and find the daily grind of gardening quite therapeutic. I’ve had to do more since I started writing this and it’s gone from quarterly to monthly. That’s been quite a spur to actually doing some gardening rather than writing about it.
Seagulls