Hi all
still waiting for my results. Due next Friday so only 7 days to wait. Have my body scan Monday and another scan Wednesday. Really struggled over last few days. Not sleeping struggling to concentrate in work and very emotional. I find myself breaking at night time. My partner is amazing but I think it just seems like a life time away 
I know it isn’t but I wish I could just snap out of this black hole. I can’t do another 7 days in this mood.
Ive just been an bought my daughter a new bed to do her room up. She has gone to Florida with her dad but is back next Saturday so I have a wk to get her room done. Should occupy some of my time 
x
nikki xxxx
thanks for listening I just needed a little vent xx
Bumping into latest posts for nikkililly
Hi Nikkililly, Youre doing the right thing keeping busy! i’m playing the waiting game myself at the moment - different stage but the agony of waiting is the same. i have a new apartment so i am cleaning it and painting it within an inch of its life… anything to stop my mind obsessing about the lump and what it might mean. keep busy and let us know how u get on xxx
Hi Nikki, Its so good that you are able to talk about your worries on here. I have also used the help line on this site and found it really useful for someone to just listen. When I was diagnosed I was lucky and my BC nurse spotted how unbearable things were and got me referred to a clinical psychologist. I wish I could take that worry away but it good to hear you have a good partner and a project in mind.
Keep strong Nikki and get whatever help you need to get through this
Michele xx
Hi Nikkilly and Cazza, the waiting bit in between tests, etc, is the worse, as you have no control what is happening to you. Once you know what you are dealing with you can become more focused and gain some control again. . Keeping busy helped me although you feel like you have been hit by a tornado as everything seemed to happen quite quickly from the moment you have your biopsy done.
It may seem surreal and like a bad dream at times but have faith the Consultants and Nurses will be doing their best for you. I had brilliant surgeon, Oncologist and breast care nurses and my GP and practice nurse have also been caring and helpful. We are also living in the 21st century and treatments have never been better.
Everyone’ s cancer story is different and what is really important don’t google as alot of sites are scary and not relevant. Stick to this one and the Macmillan site for support and help. The other ladies ( and gents) on this site are really good at supporting and giving out helpful information and tips.
let us know how you get on. Best wishes, Katy.